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No, they all have perfect little lives with perfect little families where their Moms and Dads give them everything they ask for. Everyone is always so happy all the fucking time. It makes it so hard for me to connect with them when I feel like we're worlds apart. I'm torn between feeling proud, grateful, or resentful that Nate can do this so effortlessly, despite knowing he's got to be just as broken and damaged as I am inside. No fucker lives through a childhood like we had without being left with some deep motherfucking scars.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
ISABELLA
It's Tucker's 18th birthday, so we're all celebrating at his house. His parents have given us the whole house for the night, and most of us will be crashing in the guest house tonight. Tucker's brother, Theo, has basically moved all his stuff back to his old room, which is now the guest room. Tucker kept his room in the main house, so the summer house has now become the main party base for our group. And most of us stay here regularly, so much so that Tucker has even allowed us girls to store some essentials here, mostly because I think he got tired of us stealing his t-shirts and hoodies and never returning them.
I'm outside, dancing with Ava, when a guy from school bumps into me and spills his drink all over my dress. "Wet T-shirt Contest!" he yells drunkenly. Nate comes over and grabs the guy by the collar before I can even blink.Here we go again!I think to myself as Ava and I both try to pull him back, but to no avail.
"Nate, take Bella back to the house. I'm pretty sure I've got a spare outfit in the drawer," Ava says loudly, trying to distract him.
"Yes, baby, come help me; I'm freezing," I say, understanding what Ava is trying to do.Why must he be so hot headed?
This seems to snap him out of his frenzy. Nate lets go of the guy, throws his jacket over me, and walks me the few feet back to the summer house. Once inside, I take off my wet dress and look for something else to wear.
"WOW!" I hear from behind me. It's only then that I realize my mistake. Even though Nate and I have been together for a while, we've always kept it very PG-13. Of course, we've kissed a lot. He's even touched my boobs a few times, but this is the first time Nate has seen me in just my panties.
"Sorry," I mutter, turning and scrambling for a blanket to cover myself up. He moves closer and grabs my hands to stop me.
"Please don't ever feel like you have to hide, not from me baby," he states, releasing his hold on my hands and reaching for the blanket, throwing it around my shoulders and encasing me in it.
Instinctively, I grab it, holding it tightly against my chest. He takes a step back, but his eyes continue to stare at me hungrily.
Feeling the heat pooling from his gaze alone, I allow the blanket to fall, noticing how Nate's eyes widen at the sight.
"Bella, you're absolutely beautiful, and all mine."
I try to speak, but as soon as I open my mouth, his tongue invades it. I return his kiss and feel his hands greedily grab my ass as he lifts me up. Instinctively, my legs wrap around his waist as he carries me to the door. The loud click of the lock is the only sound that can be heard before he guides us to the bed and gently lays me down on my back.
He climbs on top of me, so his knees on either side are encasing my body below his, but our bodies don't quite touch.
"Nate... I'm... not," I splutter nervously, knowing that as much as I want to give myself to him, andman do I want to,I'm still not ready to give up that final piece of myself yet.
"Bella, this doesn't have to go any further than you're comfortable with. You're in charge here. Tell me to stop and I will," Nate replies, looking me straight in the eye. I can tell that he’s being genuine; he really would stop if I asked him to. Which just makes me want and trust him even more.
"Don't stop," I hear myself moan breathlessly. "But how about we keep our underwear on for a little while longer?" I add hesitantly.
"Whatever you need, baby," Nate adds softly, pressing a gentle kiss to my forehead. I don't want my nervousness and inexperience to ruin the moment we are having. So I run my hands over his abs and under his t-shirt, "How about we make this fair?" I suggest blushing.
"Wow Bella, if my abs make your cheeks blush that easily, I can't wait to see what else I can do to make you blush even harder," Nate taunts cheekily, winking and biting his bottom lip.
Nate somehow removes his t-shirt by grabbing the back of his collar, which impresses and excites me in equal measure. Before I have a chance to appreciate the rock-hard abs and chiseled chest he has, he's kissing me harder. I feel his hands caressing my sides before they slide up to cup my breasts.
"Is this okay, Bella?" Nate whispers as he kisses my neck.
I nod and mutter a small "yeah" before Nate kisses me again, this time harder and more desperate than before. I allow my hands to wander, caressing his back and ass as my lips find his neck. I feel his hardness pushing against me. Only the thin fabrics of our underwear acting as a barrier.
Nate surprises me by moving down so that he can place kisses along the swell of my chest before suddenly pulling back. "Unless you want to take this further, we need to stop, baby."
The insecurities creep in as I work hard not to look at him.Did I do something wrong? Wasn't he enjoying himself as much as I was?
"Look at me, beautiful," he says, as he reaches for my face and gently turns me to look at him." Believe me, I didn't want to stop either, but I'd never forgive myself if I made you do something in the moment that you regretted afterwards."
"You really don't mind waiting?" I ask suspiciously as I sit myself up against the headboard.
"For you, I'd wait an eternity." He replies with a cheeky grin, before he leans over to kiss me again. As he does, I notice a small, beaded necklace around his neck. Ipush him back slightly to get a better look at them, "What's this?" I ask, looking at what looks like the wordforeveraround his neck on tiny beads. Nate pulls back slightly and sits back on his knees.
"Many years ago, I met the most wonderful girl who saw behind the broken boy in front of her, the boy I desperately wanted to be. She showed me true love and friendship for the first time in my life, and like the sun, she lit up that boy's dark, dark world."
