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The bed dips a little as he once again shifts closer. “I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
I snort and look back at him. “No one can hurt me. I don’t have any feelings.”
“I don’t believe that,” he challenges, closing the gap between us, so once again our thighs are touching.Fuck.The feeling of his body is incredible. I want to melt into him. Hold him again. That was a fluke though, right? Not the new norm. I can’t hold Cam for so many reasons. First and foremost being that I’m a warped unlovable piece of shit who uses people. Second being that as soon as his dad realizes who I am, I’ll never see him again. Third being I’m bound to wake up soon and realize I’m clearly having some sort of mental breakdown that is making me think I’m suddenly gay.
My existential crisis is interrupted when Cam runs his fingers down my spine, and I shudder in response to the erotic feeling. He giggles. The man actually giggles!
“See, you have feelings.”
Turning to face him, I have to fight my smile. “You’re ruining my brooding. I’m not ready to not be mad yet.”
His smile stretches his cheeks. “Okay, big guy. Keep brooding.”
I scrunch my nose. “You’re asking for it.”
“Asking for what?” His face lights up.
I shake my head. “Most people would not want to play with me. You remember what I did to that girl, don’t you?”
His face gets a little more serious. “You made a suggestion, that’s not much, Xan. You always say to stay away from you, but all I’ve seen is a friendly guy who stands up for his friends.”
“Who said we’re friends?” I scoff.
“I don’t need to know. For the record. Whatever else is in your past, it’s in the past. We can keep it there. I know Xander Briggs today. This is the Xan I’m friends with.”
Have to bite my lip hard to stop the choking sensation building in my throat. I probably have a brain tumor or something. There’s no reason for me to be this emotional. “You should want to know,” I croak.
Cam shakes his head. “I don’t.”
Cameron
Somehow, I’ve managed to wear Xander down. We’re officially friends.
Every day, I tag along with Xan and Nayla at meals. We walk to the computer science building together. We write code in the library for hours every night. Well, I attempt to write code, and Xan and Nayla take turns fixing it. My professors are incredibly impressed at this point.
Tonight, there is no Nayla though. She is out on a date. I can tell that Xan is trying not to be pissed about it. Not because he likes her like that. But I think her dating someone would mean that he loses her. Not that he would ever admit as much.
“Can’t believe Nayla’s out having fun and we’re stuck here coding,” I complain after an hour of relative silence. I may have an ulterior motive. I may be just a tiny bit thrilled to be alone with Xan.
Pausing to look up from his screen, he realizes I have packed up all my stuff. My heart flutters a little under his scrutiny.
He pinches his eyebrows together. “Coding is fun.”
I shake my head. “No. We need to haverealfun. You and me. Right now.”
“Realfun?” he smirks as he closes his laptop, giving me his full attention. “Like what?” His chin rises in challenge.
My mind whirs as I try to think quickly, since this was very much a spur of the moment suggestion. When the thunder crashes outside, the words tumble out of my mouth. “Let’s go play in the rain.”
Xan throws his head back with a laugh, his inky hair shaking. “What are we, five?”
“Never too old to play in the rain.”
His chin falls into his palms, and he leans forward. “Are you serious?”
“As a shot.”
When his mouth forms a tight line, I know he’s going to say yes.
