AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She smiles as she tilts her head to allow me the last few finishing touches on the short pieces that frame her face. That one little smile warms me everywhere so intensely that my cheeks burn hot for a moment.
“I appreciate your efforts,” I say with a sigh. She hasn’t run away, started trembling, or called me a monster, so that’s a positive sign.
She turns around. A little line has appeared between her brows.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re trying very hard to find the good in me,” I say, placing the brush down.
“What I’m trying to do is understand you,” she says.
“You thought it was kind of me to bring you breakfast. But my intention was to win your forgiveness. Do you think it was kind of me to brush your hair? It’s my selfish desire to touch you, to know you… to feel these soft, perfect strands sliding between my fingers,” I tell her, dragging my knuckles over the smooth waves.
“A guilty man hides his intentions,” she says, watching my fingers but not stopping me.
“Who said I feel guilt for my wrongdoings?”
“Are you trying to convince me that you’re bad, then?”
“What purpose would that serve?” I snort.
“You tell me,” is her mystifying reply.
I’m not sure what to say, but the door hisses open before I have a chance. Raffa and Ruka spill into our private moment with their lips flapping about what they should eat for lunch later.
“Last stop on the tour is the bridge,” Ruka says. “I figured I should get adult approval before taking him.”
“Last time I checked, you were of mating age,” I mutter. “I don’t see an issue with it. I’ll come with you. I need to check in with Kira.”
“You guys go ahead,” Kaye says. “I’ll meet you in a minute.”
I have the urge to bend and kiss her cheek goodbye, but it’s not like this conversation changed anything. She never said she planned on accepting this matebond; she only said she was curious about me.
CHAPTERSIXTEEN
KAYE
It’s hard to swallow.I had anticipated that much. I knew it wouldn’t be fairytale stories like the kind that Raffa heard from the warrior in the marketplace. The Ashbringer is a killer, not a superhero. Kalla didn’t paint any rosy pictures for me or tell any lies.
But he could tell me all that, and the gentle motion of his brush strokes through my hair still sent tingles down my spine. He might’ve killed innocents, confessed that he hardly knows how many. But his big hands are so gentle. It doesn’t fit together. Am I to understand that he rushed to my door to apologize so sincerely after slaughtering someone? Shouldn’t I hate him all the more, be frightened by his choices? Being honest about his deeds doesn’t make them any less harsh. Ruka and Viro told me he has his reasons, but it might’ve been more accurate for them to say he has his enemies. The man’s moral compass doesn’t point true north.
Instead of being satisfied by knowing him better, I have a million more questions. He told me about the thirst for revenge, and while I know that all Kar’Kali want revenge on the Azza Empire, there’s something personal at play. His tragic history isn’t something I’d force out of him, but my curiosity has grown.
My hair feels more well taken care of than it has in months. I’ve been too preoccupied with other things, so I drag a brush through and let the parts underneath get tangled. He has long, beautiful hair, like many Kar’Kali men I’ve seen. They know their way around a hair brushing session, apparently.
Having my back turned was a relief because the way he watches me can be unsettling. To be more precise, the way I feel when his eyes are on me is frightening. A bubbling in my stomach starts up whenever his attention is on me. If I were still naive, I could ignore it or file it away as nerves or fear. It’s not often I wish for the girl I was before I got married. I’m proud of who I am, how I’ve grown, the way I know myself.
But knowing myself means I know what Kalla’s doing to me.
I need a reality check. I head to the tiny comm booth. It’s a room the size of a broom closet squeezed between two of the bunk rooms. With approval from the bridge, I’m able to dialThe Primordial Avengerwith a request for connection to the very last name on their crew list— Raina Jones. I wait for almost a full interval, ready to give up and try later.
Finally, the comm line goes through.
“Kaye!” Raina squeals into the comm. She’s out of breath. “I’ve been wanting to hear from you. I haven’t signed any contracts. I never even did the official ceremony where I make a vow to Mak. So technically, if you just say the word, I can pull some strings with Rossa, go AWOL, and save your ass—”
“No, no,” I mutter, waving my hands.
Her eyes are sparkling at the prospect of abandoning ship to raise hell on my behalf.
