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“While that’s impressive for your age, it’s the opposite of what your sister would like you to be doing right now. So once Kaye and I come up with a plan, you’ll be leaving the ship either with Kaye as your guardian or to be dropped off with another family, perhaps Kira’s or Lakkavi’s…”
His mouth is hanging open, ready to argue with me.
“Have you apologized to her?” I ask him before he can fire off any smart remarks. “For the heart palpitations you inflicted? She was looking after you and you scared her near to death.”
The boy blinks for a moment, then taps his chin. “I think I did… I’m pretty sure I apologized. Yeah…”
“If you can’t remember what you said, I doubt it was a convincing admission of guilt.” I scratch my forehead, remembering that he overheard me in a moment of vulnerability not meant for others’ ears. “You were so rudely eavesdropping when I apologized to Kaye. Do you think I chose those words lightly?”
“Fine, I’ll apologize again, but I didn’t think Kaye would follow me like that and put herself in danger because of me!” he bursts out. “She shouldn’t feel bad because it was my choice to take that risk.”
“You’re close to mating age, and this means you must pay closer attention to your decisions. Soon you’ll find there are foolish mistakes you can’t take back,” I say, trying to temper the statement as more suggestion than threat.
“I knew what I was getting myself into,” he argues.
I slap the door controls at the end of the hall with more force than necessary.
“Really? What was your plan once you got aboard the warship that was parked beside me? Do you realize that Captain Arakka is a female with a meticulous mind, one who knows precisely the name of every warrior on her ship? Do you think she would’ve taken more kindly to your presence than I did?”
He frowns but doesn’t hesitate for a moment to admit defeat.
“I would’ve found the youngest among the crew and fit myself in. Sometimes it’s easy to slip by without bringing attention to yourself. Just tell them you joined and need help remembering the duty schedules. And anyway, honesty can get you lots of places. What if I walked right up to her and said I’m joining up? I could tell her to either toss me out the airlock or put a stinger in my hand.”
Satisfied with his bold reply, he crosses his arms and leans back. The sheer confidence reminds me of Niko, not a worry in his mind could be perceived from the outside. The boy has gumption, and he might be right. Many a Kar’Kali warrior would be endeared by his guts and find some way to give him an easy job like polishing the decks or cleaning out filters. That’s how I started out when I set my mind to becoming a great warrior and having my own ship one day. I committed, with the unflagging intensity that all youths possess.
“Sure,” I agree. “You might be right about that. But I’m not lecturing you because you can’t succeed as a warrior. I’m trying to tell you there are consequences when you make rash choices. Your sister was worried. Kaye was worried… And your sister’s reasons for sending you elsewhere are something you should respect.”
“I know,” he says hotly, wide cheeks burning blue with either embarrassment or anger— I can’t tell which. “I didn’t do this to hurt them. I did it because I’m old enough to make my own choices.”
I nod. “You are.”
Agreeing with him continues to catch him off guard.
“Often, the greatest warriors make choices because it’s necessary, not because it’s what they want.”
“Like you did when you took Kaye?” he snaps. “You’re a hypocrite.”
“You think I want to make my mate miserable? What I want is to let her do whatever she wishes. What I want is to follow her wherever she wants to go. However, what I will do is be vigilant about her safety because that’s what’s necessary. And that’s what your sister meant to do for you. Because you are her responsibility, and she vowed to protect you.”
The boy is stricken. No more clever words come out as his mouth hangs open.
“Look, think over what I’ve said. Apologize to Kaye. You don’t have to agree with me, but when we decide where to send you, you will go. No running, no arguing— you will go. Enforcing this is not what I want to do, it is what I consider necessary.”
He silently accepts my statement, twirling hisikaniin hand.
“You are getting quick with that,” I tell him, gesturing to the blade.
“Please,” he mutters. “You disarmed me so quick it was embarrassing.”
I grin. “Practice is the only way to be that dexterous. Here, I’ll show you an exercise for the finger strength.”
Despite his obvious irritation with me, he listens intently as I demonstrate the best way to strengthen the commonly overlooked muscles of one’s hand. These are the same things I learned when I joined a crew at his age. Once he’s preoccupied with trying the moves, I turn to the storage cabinets in search of the abandoned belongings we’ve stocked up.
His readiness to escalate anything I said into a potential argument reminds me of the last time I saw my brother. He was at a similar age then, except the Deadheads considered it the perfect age to train warriors for entering the field. While some days I wonder whether there was something I could’ve said to convince him to come with me willingly, days like this remind me that my brother’s mind was made up before I even said a word of explanation. Since then, I’ve had plenty of time to cool my aggression. I took every chance he threw at me to shout in his face and tell him that the Deadhead regime was disgusting, and they were brainwashing him.
If only I’d been older, more patient, perhaps I could have coaxed him. If only I’d taken him against his own will, could I have saved him? Or would he have hated me all the more passionately?
And why should either of us have been acting like fully grown males at such an age— me with my hard head and my reckless plan to rescue him… him, so close to being sent to the Sector 5 frontlines by his captors. Neither of us should have become warriors then. When I think of Raffa on Kaye’s little colony, having no responsibilities aside from the work she enforces upon him, I waver on my refusal to send her to EC-12. My little flame will keep him in check, love him with her unflagging heart, and temper his wilder side. And if she can talk me down from my stubbornness, she could talk this little punk out of embroiling himself in violence before he has a chance to open his eyes to the world.
