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“No! But it didn’t go away. I thought for sure I would get past it in a couple cycles, but I had nightmares. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I couldn’t even touch myikaniwithout imagining it all over again. Rutting spirit, I mean, I still have nightmares every once in a while. So why should someone like that be a warrior?” He looks away from me, swiveling the seat and throwing his legs up on the dash. “It’s rutting embarrassing, I know.”
“You know, Raffa… Most warriors go through passings worth of training before they even inflict a wound on someone else. What happened to you was not the same as entering a battle with a purpose, with practice, and with commanders and others at your side. You made a split decision to save Kaye’s life, and you weren’t remotely prepared for it.”
He turns back to face me, brows furrowed as he listens to me intently.
“You shouldn’t have had to make that choice,” I say firmly. “And your reaction to it means nothing about how strong you are or what you’re capable of once you reach mating age. If you never want to feel that way again, then perhaps you’re right. There’s no shame in deciding that you’d rather not have blood on your hands over and over again. That’s the way of a warrior, unfortunately. I won’t lie to you and say that these nightmares will stop. For some warriors, they only get worse.”
“Have you had nightmares like that?”
“Yes.”
We sit in silence together as the kid chews on what I’ve said.
“So you’re saying I should train?”
“No, I’m not saying you should do anything,” I say. “Do what you want. But I will tell you this. The moment a warrior takes a life and feels nothing is the moment they become more of a killer than anything else. So don’t give yourself a hard time for having a good heart.”
“Thanks for saying that,” he says with a sigh. I’m not sure any of my statements got through to him, judging by the distant look in his eyes.
“Kaye tells me you’re obsessed with those fights. So why don’t you tell me about it? We have a long ride ahead of us.”
“Oh!” He perks up. “Alright. Well, I have a few holo recordings of matches on my comm…”
* * *
The femalein the regen bath looks like she’s sleeping peacefully.
We came straight from the airfield to see her once we landed onThe Rightful Heir. In that short walk from my ship to the medical wing, I could tell that theHeirhas become a chaotic zone. Sworn captains are arriving while others pack up their ships to leave as soon as possible. Civilians and warriors alike run to and fro as families reunite. The healers inside were just as overwhelmed. They’re overrun by the increase in patients and arriving family members demanding to see this warrior or that.
The human called Frankie appears small in a bath made to accommodate full grown Kar’Kali males. Her vitals beep away steadily on the readouts, but she won’t wake up.
Kaye and Raina sit at her side, holding each other’s hands while they speak to her. The healers gave them a talk about the female’s health during the passings spent on lockdown. It’s been just short of two passings since she was brought here. At the time, she had extensive burns, but they’ve all healed now. When we arrived, Lalo was here. She told me she visits almost every day in the hopes that some talking and singing will soothe the human. We sent her home to take a rest, because with the new arrivals here, she’s been spending far too much time at sick beds and not enough time caring for herself. It took Niko and I’s combined power to bully her out the door with the added threat that Mak would be arriving soon to back us up.
“What are the two of you planning next?” I ask Niko.
“I promised Raina a tropical vacation,” he says. “I was thinking one of those Rathe System planets with the fancy hotels that float on water. What do you think?”
“Can you afford that?” I ask him with a brow raised.
He grins and opens his mouth to snap back at me, but we’re distracted by the commotion near the entrance. It’s Mak walking through with an entourage, causing swoons and cries of excitement. It’s the same everywhere he goes. Niko and I exchange a glance, silently agreeing we’ll let him make the rounds first before speaking with him. The Ka’lakka has brought some of his warriors and his beast Nisina, the lithe and furry predator that he’s bonded to.
Irritated by the crowding, his loyal kaia trots over to us. She’s been familiar with Niko and me for long enough that our smell alone calls her with a wagging tail. I pet her head and she jumps up to greet me with a nip and a lick. Nisi is very affectionate with those she knows well, but she can be aggressive if she’s uncomfortable.
“Is that a wolf?” Kaye asks, eyes widening at the sight.
“This is a kaia,” I say. “Like what Niko calls Raina.”
“It’s a freaky-looking wolf,” Raina says.
Kaia are most definitely predatory in nature, and one without a bond wouldn’t do well in a crowded room like this one. But Nisi and Mak have been bonded since they were both pups, a tradition of his ancestral line.
“And how did you get her?” Kaye is perplexed as Nisi approaches her.
“Nisi is calm so long as Mak is. So go ahead and offer your hand,” I explain. “There’s a beastmaster that raises kaia onMakiva’s Revenge.”
Kaye pats the beast’s back gently while Nisi sniffs at the regen bath. Maybe the presence of Mak’s pet will cheer her up. She hasn’t smiled since we arrived. Her heart is too busy breaking for her friend.
When I glance at Mak, he’s signaling for my attention. I answer his call, huffing under my breath about being treated like his second beast. He steps away from his warriors and the small group that gathered to greet him, excusing himself politely.
