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“The U.S. president has been attempting to make amends because of the attack, doubling the amount of women he’d previously promised us. But the trust has been broken. They know it. We know it. It is only a matter of time before we find ourselves at war.”
“Pity,” Cazar stated, already bored with the topic.
Jakkar raised a brow. “You do not care what fate awaits the human race or our own?”
Cazar shrugged. “Politics have always bored me.”
“Politics it may be, but your mate is part of their kind. That is her home world. It is not like you to take such little care with matters like these.”
Cazar’s gaze traveled from his own lap to his father, tilting his head to watch the old man, feeling very much like a predator observing potential prey. He studied the aging male, not as his kin but as an anomaly that hadn’t quite been worked out yet. His vision began to fade to gray, a sensation that was becoming far too common. He suspected it meant he was seeing with more than just his own eyes.
The parasite was also watching.
Waiting.
Assessing.
“Nothing is like me these days,” Cazar admitted, his voice deepening in challenge before he forced himself to look away and focus on something else. That seemed to do the trick, and his vision returned to normal a heartbeat later.
Jakkar hesitated, reaching out to his son before reluctantly drawing his hand back. The lack of contact was for the best, Cazar told himself. The last thing he needed was to lose control and attack someone else.
He’d almost killed his brother, Kylok, during the revolt. In fact, he’d apparently bitten off several heads of Kylok’s clones, which should have poisoned him. Ended him then and there.
But instead, Cazar had remained unaffected. Not even consuming his brother’s poison could harm the parasite. He wished he could say that his actions hadn’t harmed Kylok, but that wasn’t true. Each time one of his replicas died, Kylok’s psyche was wounded. That sort of damage had eventually slipped his brother into a coma, allowing his brain and body time to heal.
Cazar had destroyed so many of Kylok’s replicas while the parasite had taken over that his brother had spent weeks in a hospital bed. Cazar could have killed his eldest brother, and he wouldn’t have even realized what he’d done until it was too late. Shame filled him, drowning out the parasite’s own emotions, and Cazar took a trembling breath to steady himself.
“Kylok has inquired about you several times,” Jakkar informed him, almost as if he could read Cazar’s mind. Concern shone in his eyes. “He’s worried about you. We all are.”
“I do not wish to see him. Tell him not to come.” Cazar didn’t want to be reminded of his own guilt. It was already a wound that was festering inside of him every waking second.
“And what of Evie? I’ve only just heard that your mate comes by daily to see you, but the guards have informed me that you keep making them send her away,” Jakkar said with a sad smile. It was almost as bad as his hovering.
“I do not wish for her to see me. Not like this.”
Jakkar huffed, the disgruntled sound reminding him of Kylok and his constant bad moods. “She chose you as her mate, Cazar, while you were still confined to the hospital. I was the one to accept on your behalf, thus tying you together for life. She knows of the choices she’s made when it comes to you. That you are different now. Believe me, she doesn’t care.”
“Different,” Cazar repeated, clenching his hands into fists at his sides. “There is something wrong with me. I’m not justdifferent. I’m an abomination.”
Jakkar stiffened. “You arenotan abomination,“ he responded, his voice heavy with censure. “My son, you cannot let this parasite destroy your life or your future happiness. It is a miracle that it didn’t kill you. And instead of being grateful for every breath you take, you’ve spent weeks locked up in this lab, mourning your circumstances.”
Cazar growled. “I won’t let anyone but you see me until I’ve found a way to remove the parasite.”
Jakkar’s expression morphed into one of pity. “You know that the healers have declared removing the parasite an impossibility. The tests they ran… Cazar, it is fused to you. Attempting to remove it could be a detriment to your health.”
“No.” Cazar shook his head in denial. “If I could remove it from the first infected warrior without harming him then I can remove it from myself.” He just needed to discover a way to raise the parasite on his skin. From there, he could remove it safely.
He was certain of it.
Jakkar sighed. “You are deluding yourself, and in doing so, hurting the woman you care for.”
Cazar’s jaw clenched, and he looked away from his father. “I do not wish to discuss this anymore.” He knew what his father thought, what the healers believed; that he was going to be stuck this way forever. That it was something he had to learn to live with. Like Kylok’s poison or Sahin’s tendrils.
But Cazar was a scientist, a male of reason and intellect. He could find a way to go back to how he was before. To be someone worthy of Evie’s touch. Of her affection.
“I’ve removed the guards from your lab,” Jakkar stated suddenly with a nod of his head. “There was no need for them to linger here as sentries since all of your projects have been delegated to other scientists while you recover.”
“You had no right to do that,” Cazar seethed. “They are important–”
