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“He went to school with us. He overdosed. When I came to... I was next to you on the floor, you were... God, you were beaten so severely and naked...”
I move swiftly, without thinking, balling my fist, and punching him as hard as I can in the face. His head whips to the side from the force. He spits blood onto the concrete, and my eyes fixate on it momentarily before I cup my hands together, trying to keep them from shaking.
“When I came to, Conner was trying to get me to leave. He found us in the bathroom, we heard screaming and when we came out of the bathroom, Wes was doing CPR on Declan. But he was gone. I only just started remembering. It was you who triggered the memories, I’m sure of it. I’ve spent my entire life without them. I swear it!”
“Conner?” I ask, horrified. “That’s how he found me?”
Emery’s head whips up, looking at me squarely. “What do you mean, found you?”
“He found me. I was in the bathroom, still in and out of it, when he woke me. He said the house was on fire and helped me to safety. I’ve spent all these years thinking he was my savior, but he left me there and got you to safety first?” My voice is shaking, and I’m unable to quell its quake.
Anger has reached an entirely new level inside me, and I can’t fight its hold.
Emery nods, taking the coward’s way out of answering.
Wheels squeaking reminds me Gage is here, and I turn to see him wheeling over a machine.
“We can get your answers from him. A couple of shocks should spark something. It always does.” His eyes are dark and scary. He’s done this before, I realize.
My dumb ass has been longing for this psycho’s touch, and he’s no better than what I’ve already dealt with in my life.
I turn back toward Emery, tears of rage spilling from me. “All this time, I thought if I could get the missing chunks of time, the missing parts to the night, I could heal. I could have closure somehow. Now, you tell me, you don’t even know what the fuck happened?”
I back away. “Do what you need to,” I tell Gage.
He shakes his head. “No, you need to take your revenge. Take your power back, little one. Come here.”
I eye him, mind, and heart pattering away as his words sink through my cortex.
I can’t become a monster.
“I can’t...I’ll be like him.” I incline my head toward Emery who gasps as he continues to carry on crying tears in the wake of his predicament.
Gage shakes his head. “No, you won’t be. You’ll be taking back what he took from you. He’s the monster, you’re the broken. Repair yourself, little one. Take your power back.”
Before I can think, my feet are moving toward Gage. He holds paddles in his hands, a machine whirring as he swiftly hits buttons on it.
He hands me the two paddles, looking down at my vacant stare. “Don’t touch your skin to his when you touch him with these.”
I nod absently.
Can I do this?
What happens in this room, from this moment forward, will change me forever. On a molecular level.
Standing in front of Emery, my mind works to decide if I can take back my power. If I can become the powerful one, at the expense of hurting someone else.
“Do you want me to help you, little phoenix?” Gage whispers in my ear, startling me.
I turn my face towards his, noting his dilated pupils at the very idea of watching me torture my torturer.
“Will this even help him remember? Or is this for what he did to me?”
Gage shrugs. “A little of both. He could be lying; he might tell us all we need to know before the paddles even touch his flesh. That’s what usually happens. Or, he could be telling the truth, and at the very least, you get to feel powerful for a moment in your life. What’s the harm?”
My eyes turn back toward Emery. He’s got his eyes closed; his breathing is erratic.
“Please, I deserve it. The memories are too much!” he begs.
