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Kelly walks back into the room with her jacket on and she looks like she is calming down. I grab her hand and walk her out to my truck. I open the door on her side and pick her up and put her in the seat. “Thank you, Trask,” my woman tells me. I shut the door while she puts her seat belt on. I walk back around to my side of the truck and get in. I turn my truck around and we drive back out the drive. We drive a little ways and Kelly is watching me closely. I am keeping an eye on her out the side of my eye.
“Are we going to Lyric and Botie’s?” Kelly asks but we pass up the drive.
“Nope, not today,” I tell her and then she sees my parents’ house.
“Please tell me you are not taking me back to your parents’ house. I don’t think I have the stomach for it today.” I smile at Kelly. I understand the feeling. Every time I have seen my mom and dad since I moved out, it has been an argument about Kelly.
“No, darlin’, I wouldn’t do that to you.” There’s a drive right before we get to my parent’s property that turns back into the land that Lyric and Botie own now. “This land here belonged to Nick Styles at one time but he sold it to Lyric. Lyric loves this land, but she isn’t too fond of my parents and her place butts up to the back of Dad’s property on this side. It’s not a big parcel of land so she sold it to me. I bought these five- acres of land to build my dream home on it since it has nothing to do with my parent’s property.” Kelly’s eyes go wide. “I paid cash for it and I have been building a home here.” We arrive in front of the shell of the house I am building. The house is framed, but the insides aren’t formed yet. “The framing crew is framing the insides now, so it’s time to make decisions. I want you to help me make those decisions.” Kelly looks at me but then she sees the gazebo that I built before the house was ever started. It’s a large gazebo. I could see myself one day giving my daughter away in that gazebo on her wedding day. That’s always been my dream. My grandparents had a gazebo in their front yard when I was growing up and my grandpa always told me the stories of each of his children being married there. It was a family tradition. I see the minute that Kelly sees the swing hanging in the big oak tree and I can see she is torn at which one she wants to go to first. The swing wins out. Kelly sits on the swing and I remember the times that I would swing in my grandparent’s yard. This here… this is what memories are made of.
“I love swings. I’ve never been in a tree swing before. Come swing me.” Kelly seems at ease and she is having fun. I don’t see this side of my woman very much. She is carefree and happy. Kelly is always so serious. That Kelly is beautiful but this Kelly, in the sunlight, sitting on the swing smiling, is breath taking. I know I will remember this day for years to come. I walk over to Kelly and push her in the swing. This moment in time is what makes my life worth everything. We spend the rest of the afternoon going over all the things we want in our lives. We decide on three children, a dog, a cat, and some chickens. Four bedrooms, four bathrooms and a two-car garage. This is where we are going to share our lives and raise our children.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Kelly
I have been a wreck all week. The thought of leaving Trask has me in a state of terror. One minute I am happy and lying in Trask’s arms but when he leaves me to go to work, I know I am living on borrowed time. I have been looking at my predicament from every angle. I just don’t know what to do.
The old me, the self-centered spoiled side of me, wants to run. Run from my responsibilities and the love I feel for Trask. Forget it all and find a fast fix. The drugs would wash away any memories of a happily ever after for me. They always made my mind shut down and I could just forget. I’m an addict and I know this is my addiction calling to me, but I can’t do that. I am stronger than that. I can’t let myself fall back into my old habits and grasping onto those vices would be erasing all the work I put in to getting clean. I can’t get the thoughts out of my mind when I am by myself. I crave that high and the release from my thoughts. I’m not comfortable in my own skin today. That is the reason that I agreed to meet Lyric and Haddie for lunch. I need the distraction.
Haddie wants to discuss the arrangements for Lyric’s baby shower. Haddie and I are hosting. I feel guilty for not telling them that I won’t even be here when it’s time for the baby shower. I can’t tell them that though. I’m going to meet them just for the distraction before I climb the walls of this house.
I look in the mirror one last time before I go out the door. I can see the dark circles that are starting to form under my eyes. I don’t know how long I can hide this from Trask. I don’t know how long I have to hide this from Trask. I’m not used to these guilty feelings. I need to just tell Trask the truth and be done with it. I look at my reflection and hate what I see. It’s like I should have liar stamped across my forehead. This is killing me from the inside out. This is as good as it is going to get. I put my jacket on and grab my keys and purse.
The drive to town is uneventful. I don’t even remember half of it. It’s like my body is on autopilot and I’m not seeing anything around me. The next thing I know, I am parked in front of Haddie’s bed-and-breakfast. I see Lyric’s car is already here, so I get out and walk up to the house. I love the wraparound porch on this place. It’s beautiful even on a day as cool as it is today. I’d love to sit out here and watch the cars go by.
“Get in the house and get warm, Kelly,” Haddie says, opening the screen door of the house for me.
“I wish it were warmer so we could sit on the front porch. It’s beautiful out there,” I tell Haddie.
“That’s my favorite part of this house,” Lyric says, coming up behind Haddie.
“Thank you, both. I do get a lot of compliments on it. I have spent a lot of time out there. If my rocker and that swing could talk, they would have a lot of tales to tell,” Haddie says laughing.
“I bet they could, especially about you and Nick out there talking every night,” Lyric says with laughter in her voice. I raise my eyebrow at Haddie.
“Oh really, do tell.” Haddie swats at Lyric’s butt with the dish towel in her hand.
“Don’t be silly, missy,” Haddie says but her face gets a little red. I think there is a story there. “My little talks with Nick are harmless.”
“It’s Nick now is it? I believe if my memory is right, when I first moved here, the only thing that you called Nick was Mr. Styles.”
“That was a misunderstanding that we cleared up and that is the end of that. Shall we all go into the dining area so we can talk baby shower plans? We need to get you registered at a few stores.” Lyric is still smiling when we walk into the dining area. There are a few guests having their lunch, but I don’t pay any attention to them. I just follow Lyric and Haddie to our table. We sit down and Haddie already has our sandwiches and drinks set up.
“I didn’t know how long you ladies had for this afternoon, so I had an assortment of sandwiches made up,” Haddie tells us.
“Well, this pregnant woman is starving, so thank you. I have all afternoon. Botie and Trask are busy on their private project for the baby after work.” I smile at that. Trask told me last night that he and Botie are building all the furniture for the nursery. It’s a sweet thing to do and I hope I am still here to see all the things that they have planned to build. “Botie did say not to order any furniture because he wants to go with me to pick that out. It all needs to have Dad’s seal of approval. The colors, bedding, and design is all up to me but the furniture he wants to help with. He also said he would take care of any painting that needs to be done and just to let him know the colors that I decide on.” If she only knew about her surprise, she would be over the moon. That’s how I would feel, anyway.
“Kelly, I need to speak to you.” I know that voice and it’s not one that I have heard in a while. I swing my head toward it and my heart feels like it’s going to burst out of my chest. Sage Mayson. No, this can’t be happening, not today, I’m not ready, not yet. So many things rush through my head. I am on my feet before I can think about it. I need to run. No, I can’t. People are watching me. My friends are watching me. My past is going to collide with my present and it is going to ruin my future. I try to collect myself and get it together.
“Sage, what are you doing here?” I ask.
“You’re the one that needs to answer questions, not me.” I look at Lyric and Haddie. How do I explain this?
“Haddie and Lyric this is an associate of mine. I am going to need to reschedule for another time. I didn’t know he was going to be in town so fast. I’m sorry, ladies, I really need to go so we can take care of the business he came for.” I notice another man behind Sage. I still have my jacket on, so I grab my purse.
“This won’t take long,” Sage says with venom in his voice. I deserve that. I deserve all of Sage’s hate.
“Are you sure, honey?” Haddie asks me, picking up on Sage’s attitude. “You can take a table somewhere else or go into my den and talk. These gentlemen are staying here a few days and my den is private. Whatever business you have won’t be overheard.” I see the concern in Haddie’s eyes.
