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My stomach has been upset since yesterday when I was texting Raider and it hasn’t calmed much. I was hungry and I ate last night, but I threw it up later during the night. The same thing happened this morning. I ate a small Danish with a cup of coffee and I have been fighting all the way home to keep it down. I run up to my bedroom and go into my bathroom and finally give up and let the food come up. I hate my nerves get to me so bad. I need to talk to my mom so she can give me some advice but I’m not waking her up this early. I go to my vanity and get a washcloth from underneath my cabinet. That’s when I see the box of tampons. I rinse my mouth out and wipe my face and hands. I dry them off with a hand towel. I walk to my phone and bring up my calendar. I’m late. I should have been on my period this week. I start to text Raider, but I know I need to give him some space to regroup from yesterday. I decide to give him the day to see if he comes home tonight. I need to talk to Mom.
The urge comes over me to talk to Rager, but then I realize I don’t have that same urge to call Honey. That’s weird. I should want to talk to them both, not just one. Something else to talk to my mom about.
“Hey, you, are you alright? I thought I heard you getting sick just now.” Mom is always the nurse and she always knows when I need her.
“We need to talk.” Mom raises her eyebrow.
“I’ll make us some tea,” she tells me and turns around to leave. I feel my stomach lurch again and I make a run for the bathroom.
22
Frannie…
I walk downstairs and I make a ginger tea to sooth Billie’s stomach and make myself a green tea. I put lemon and sugar on the table just in case Billie feels like putting them in her tea. I also grab a sleeve of crackers from the box and then fix her some ginger ale just in case the tea isn’t what she needs. I wait for my daughter to come down the stairs and I see the glassy eyes. She was sick again. Mm-hm.
“Honey, do you have something to tell your mom? I see that you’re having a bit of a queasy stomach today.” She eyes me and then she looks down.
“I think I’m pregnant, but isn’t it too early for all this vomiting? I can’t even be but a month pregnant.” Billie knows how babies are made and how to prevent them.
“Did you and Raider not use protection? I know I taught you better than that. I could have taken you to get on birth control again. I know you have bad side effects from the pill, but there are other forms of contraception like condoms. I’m not upset with you for not using contraceptives, but I am very upset that you didn’t protect yourself from diseases. Did you two even discuss his past partners or having tests done before your relationship went to this level?” Mom always uses her mom voice when she’s scared for one of us.
“We used no protection or have had any talk before our first time. I was so peaceful, I fell asleep that night.” Billie stops and takes a small sip of the ginger ale and then puts it back on the table.
“Try to eat a saltine slowly, with small sips of ginger ale,” I tell my daughter. I put my hand over hers and hold it. My baby is growing up too fast for me. But when I was her age, I wouldn’t have been kept from my man either.
“We talked after the second time. We still didn’t use condoms but we did talk about his past. He hadn’t been with anyone before me for at least six months and he has a bi-annual checkup for his insurance with a blood test done. He’s clean. I know I should have insisted on a condom but Raider didn’t want anything between us and I didn’t either. I guess that was a stupid move.” Billie is upset and I know I need to calm her.
“Babies never come at the right time, but they are always a blessing just like this will be if you are pregnant. Now, you need to use your head. I know you said that things didn’t end the way you wanted last night. I know you were upset and I figure after Raider went through all that, he wasn’t either. You have a few choices here. We could go and pick up a few of those early pregnancy tests or you could use the two I have in the black bag I carry with me. The ones I have are supposed to detect the earliest. Have you missed a period yet? Are you late? This could just be from nerves but I’m thinking that is unlikely.” I know Mom has gone into nurse mode.
“When I was trying to clean up from being sick, I noticed the tampons in my cabinet. I checked my calendar and I’m almost a week late, six days. What do you think I should do?” Billie looks at me just like she did when she was a little girl. I make a decision I will probably regret one day but not today.
“You’re a grown woman, Billie. I can’t make decisions for you anymore. This is something that you should talk over with Raider, but I understand you giving him his space. He needs it. You tell me what you want to do. I told you that you are your own woman, you know your heart, and not to let anyone tell you what to do. That includes me.” I finish, and I want to take my little girl in my arms and let her depend on me, but she needs to know she can do this.
“I can take the pregnancy test you have just to know but I know I’ll need to tell Raider and then see a doctor later this week. Do I need a referral from my family doctor to see an obstetrician?” she asks me.
“One step at a time. I’ll go and get the pregnancy tests for you. This could be a false alarm.” I get up from the table, go to my bedroom and get my black nursing case. I open it and take out the two tests. I return to the coffee nook where we were sitting. Billie still looks green. I hand one of the tests to Billie. “Are you sure you don’t want to text Raider? You only get the chance to see the results once. Do you want to take this away from your man? I will stand by you no matter the answer. I’m just telling you to think this one through.” Billie looks at me. “You know Raider would move heaven and earth for you.” That’s all it takes. She takes her phone from her back pocket and texts something to Raider. It doesn’t take long for a smile to appear on Billie’s face.
“He’s on his way.” That relieved all her fears.
“Did he say how long it would take?” I ask.
“He was already on his way home. He said about ten minutes.” That’s what relieved her, the thought he was coming home. She wouldn’t let me hear her fear of him not coming back at all. These two have a long way to go until they’re settled. This pregnancy may help or it may be what breaks them. Only time will tell.
“Why don’t you try to drink some water but do not go and relieve yourself. You’ll need all your urine for this test. I’m saving the other one for in the morning. It’s when doctors like for you to take them. Not that this one will not be accurate. It’s to be careful. If you like, I can get you into the doctor later this week.” Billie has gotten up and walked over to the refrigerator. She brings back a bottle of water. I hope she can keep this down. “You might want to drink some water and then sip on the ginger ale and then repeat. Sometimes when you’re queasy, it’s harder to keep water down.” Billie follows my instructions. Then we hear Raider pull up in his truck at the back.
“I don’t want Raider to think I did this on purpose, trying to trap him.” I laugh at Billie.
“Oh, baby, Raider would never think that of you. He loves you, and besides, it takes two people to make a baby. He could have used a condom or pulled out whenever he wanted to. That only tells me that this was Raider’s end game all along, as well as yours. You two may fool the rest of the world, but I’ve had my eyes on you two for over a month now.” The back door opens and in walks Buzz, Gator, and Raider. I guess there will be an audience for this. It’s only right. We’re all family. Raider makes it to us and his eyes are full of concern for Billie.
“Have you been sick since you got home? You should have called me. I would have come earlier.” Raider is by Billie’s side and then Buzz sees what is lying on the table.
“Someone has a bun in the oven?” Buzz asks offhandedly. Gator and Raider looks at Buzz and then the test. Raider’s head swings to Billie.
“Are we pregnant?” Everyone laughs at Raider except for Billie.
“I may be. I’ve been waiting on you to take the test,” Billie answers Raider.
“Let’s take the test. I’ll go into the bathroom with you and help.” That makes me laugh and all eyes are on me.
