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“Does Billie need to stay on bedrest, and how long will the nausea be a problem?” Raider asks.
“In best-case scenarios, it lasts between three and four months. Worst-case scenario, it lasts throughout the entire pregnancy. The other things to worry about with multiples are the last trimester of the pregnancy and the delivery. Billie is a small woman and I want you both to consider a Cesarean birth. Also, since Billie is carrying twins, we need to watch her blood pressure and swelling of her feet and legs. All pregnant women can have these same issues, but sometimes pregnancy with multiples can exacerbate these issues. There is a chance that there may be some bedrest when you get further into your pregnancy. I have some pamphlets that explain the differences of a single pregnancy compared to a multiple pregnancy.” The doctor looks and sees the way we are overloaded with information. “The long story short, don’t ask about problems you don’t have yet. You two look like you’re overwhelmed already. One day at a time. I’ll give you the reading material and a couple of recommendations of other books to read. Read them a little at a time or you’re both going to have heart attacks before this pregnancy is even out of the first trimester. If you have any questions, just call me or even ask your mom if you’re more comfortable. I also need to tell you, I recommend no sexual activity for the next two weeks and then I want to see Ms. Nesbit back in my office. I’ll set the appointment myself and have my office call you. They do have your number, correct?” the doctor asks me.
“They have all our numbers,” I answer.
“Midge, excellent job again. Be sure to give them plenty of pictures. Ms. Nesbit, when you come into the office and have your next scan, we’ll record it on a disc and you will be able to take it home. It will show the babies and the sound of their heartbeats so you can share with other family members. If you keep some food down and you have plenty of fluids, then you will be able to go home when I get off later this afternoon. You enjoy your day.” Dr. Jennings is so much better than the last doctor I had seen.
“Thank you, Dr. Jennings,” Raider says.
“Yes, thank you, doctor, and thank you, Midge,” I tell them both. Midge comes around and cleans the gel off me and then goes back to the monitor and runs some pictures off like she did the first time, and then she leaves. I put my hand out to Raider. He gives me my panties and I slip them back on. Mom straightens my covers for me.
“I’m starving and I’m eating for three. Can I get some food?” Raider and Mom both smile at me and then Mom leaves the room to find my food.
“We’re having twins. Two babies at once. I am so happy. I need to call my mom soon before she hears this through the grapevine,” Raider tells me.
“When Mom gets here, go and talk to her. This is something you don’t tell on the phone. I’m in the hospital. I’m safe, surrounded by doctors and nurses including my mom.” I see Raider considering it.
“Alright, I will.” Now I can relax.
30
TWO MONTHS LATER
Rager…
I’m sitting in the diner close to our clubhouse. It’s nothing special to look at. It has easy access from the Interstate, but this place isn’t something that would catch a tourist's eyes. The outside of the building is run-down and the parking lot is small. The inside has booths that have seen better days. The tables have nicks in them and the booth part of it worn. They’re not stiff like new ones. They’re worn, soft, smooth, and familiar. A few Interstate stragglers come in and are surprised by the delicious food this place has, but it’s mostly locals that come here. I’ve been coming here for years for their delicious food.
I hope Raider likes it. He invited me for breakfast and the talk we’ve been avoiding. He doesn’t trust me. That stings, but then again, it makes me proud. He knows to watch his six and takes nothing at face value. It’ll make him a strong president for his club.
The waitress has brought my coffee, and she has my order. I’ve been up for a few hours. Honey woke up with my tongue on her clit and she showed me her appreciation by going down on me in the shower. Our relationship has grown by leaps and bounds since we’ve been back together. I don’t know how I went twenty-five years without that woman. I need her to breathe. The thought of losing her again is unbearable. She’s going nowhere. I don’t care if I need to kidnap her again and then never let her go.
We’re both excited about Billie and Raider getting married, and I hope after today, that will be sooner rather than later. I know Billie has been having a bad bout with morning sickness. We spoke on the phone and a few texts here and there, but Honey said she’s been at home and on bedrest for the last week. If it gets any worse, she may need to stay in the hospital a few days under watchful eyes. Honey said that she was the same way in her first trimester, whatever that is. I’m a dumbass when it comes to pregnancies, morning sickness, and whatever else is to come. It just seems extreme, needing to be in the hospital with her hooked up to everything. Yes, Frannie explained it all to me. She’s a nurse. But it went in one ear and out the other.
I see that Raider has pulled into the parking lot. He gives me nothing with his facial expressions. Here goes nothing.
As soon as Raider has been seated, the waitress brings him a coffee like I asked her to and takes his order for food. We sit across from each other and just observe each other. I’m waiting for him to speak and he’s waiting for me. I won’t break the stalemate.
“How are we going to co-exist in the lives of Mom and Billie?” I smile at my son. He’s straight to the point just like Honey.
“How do you want to co-exist?” I ask him.
“That’s how this is going to go?” I want to laugh but I fight it. He’s Honey made over, quick to anger.
“I know how I want our relationship to go but that doesn’t matter if you aren’t on the same page. You’re the one who has set the boundaries so far, and I have respected your wishes. You tell me how you want this to go and then we barter an agreement,” I answer Raider.
“This isn’t a game, old man. This is my family’s lives.” Raider pouts. I bet that works on Honey, but I’m not going to pamper a grown-ass man.
“I will tell you this, you can call me Rager or you can call me Tyson, but unless you want me to call you son, then don’t call me old man. I’m respecting you and I damn sure demand the same respect from you. I’m not your mom or Billie. The pouting face doesn’t work on me.” Raider glares at me.
“Fair enough. Just know I won’t be calling you dad anytime soon. I understand you didn’t know about me or my twin. I didn’t even know about Kagan and that pisses me off. Mom had no right to keep him from me, but I understand why she couldn’t tell me. It hurts her too much. Billie has taught me that it does no good at all to run from something. Mom needs to face her pain so she can move on or at least exist without that pain weighing her down.” I see Raider needs to work through his pain about Kagan too. This came out of nowhere. He’s bottling that pain up just like me, and how Honey has done for years. I’ve been thinking about something and I guess it’s time to share.
“I think you’re right about Kagan. We all need to work through that pain instead of keeping it bottled up. After you and Billie work out your difference of opinion, and Honey and I have a few months to settle into our relationship,” I see Raider stiffen at that last part, “I think we should have a private memorial for Kagan so we can remember him in a slideshow and say our goodbyes. Your mom has plenty of pictures for it. Not that we’re going to forget him, but so we have some peace about him being gone. I know this will be difficult for Honey and that’s why I’m saying this is for a few months from now or even after Billie has the baby. Then Honey will have the baby to be happy about. Not that the baby can be any kind of replacement but that way when the ceremony is over, Honey will have the baby to snuggle with. Billie will be over the delivery so she can be there to support you. What do you think about that?”
I’ve thought long and hard about this. I don’t know about everyone else, but I need this. I need to remember my other son, even though I never saw him. “I’ll be sure that Honey is strong enough to go through it again and we, as a family, will be there for her.” Raider sits there and thinks about it for a few minutes while he drinks his coffee. I see the tears in his eyes but he won’t let them fall in front of me. He’s too proud for that. I eat more of my food. The waitress approaches our table and sets Raider’s breakfast in front of him. She fills our coffee cups again.
“I think that we all need it and I think Kagan deserves it. But Mom needs to be on board with it. She’s already gone through the pain of his funeral. She turns into a different person during the time of year that Kagan died. I never knew what was wrong with her. She goes into a depression and she cries a lot. I just wish she had shared with me so I could have helped her through it. I understand that when I was a child, she didn’t tell me to protect me from the pain, but when I became an adult, I have no idea why she kept my twin from me. I don’t think I’ll ever understand that part. It was a point of contention between Mom and me until I read the journal that she gave me.” Raider is looking down at his plate and not me. This is a burden he’s carrying inside of him. He doesn’t like to be at odds with his mom and it’s weighing on him. “If this happens, then it will need to be after the babies are here.”
I almost spit my coffee out. Raider looks at me when he says it and I see his smile. Yep, he did that on purpose.
