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“The doctor broke the news to us when Billie had to go to the hospital because she was so out of it and sick. They did another sonogram with 3-D imaging and they found a second heartbeat. The second baby had been hiding behind the other one. It was a shocking surprise. We have decided to name them Keegan and Kagan. Billie said those are unisex names and can be used for either boys or girls. This is all new to me. I didn’t even know they had unisex names.”
“You know more than I do, and I’m sorry for that. Billie will lead you in the right direction and if she doesn’t, then I’m sure your mom and Frannie will,” I tell him sincerely. I watch his eyes soften at the mention of his mom and Frannie. I know Frannie and he have bonded over Billie, and Frannie thinks Raider can do no wrong. Reaper has kept me updated on most of the things going on with Raider. but he has left some out.
“I can’t take it anymore; I know you didn’t know about Kagan and me. I can wrap my head around that fact, but in here,” he points to his heart, “it hasn’t caught up to it yet. Every time that you and I are in the same room, it’s like a big elephant is sitting in the middle of the room and you and I are dodging the thing. The way I deal is with anger and I don’t want to do that anymore. I have accepted Billie’s stipulation to our wedding. You are going to give her away. I know you won’t back out of it gracefully because Billie is very hard to say no to, and I want to make her happy. That’s all I want to do besides protecting her and our children.”
“You know, sooner or later, you’ll need to find a way to say no to her for her own good and the good of your family,” I tell him after I finish my food. “But you’re right. I won’t break her dream by saying no. I am honored to do it. I was hesitant at first, but after I thought about it and she explained everything, I would never say no to that. You’re not the only man who she has wrapped around her little finger.” Raider laughs at that.
“I’ve noticed. Reaper is a pain in my ass and he keeps sniffing around Frannie. Billie loves him along with you. I won’t interfere with that unless you or anyone else puts her and my children at risk,” Raider tells me without blinking an eye.
“Reaper and I won’t put any of you in danger. Your club is the one that needs to worry about danger. The Three Striped Brotherhood was run out of our town for the shit they were pulling on our club. We had to deal with a brother, the one who lied to your mom. He had been with us from the beginning of our club and he was leaking information to the Brotherhood. The Brotherhood have gone back to their hometown now and that’s in your club’s territory. Don’t underestimate that gang of hoodlums and assholes. They left their toll on our town and your town is smaller. They’re pushing drugs on kids. They all need to be sent to hell, and I don’t mind being the one to send them there. I won’t lose any sleep over it.” I hate those fuckers.
“Don’t make promises that you can’t keep. We took care of the Brotherhood in our community. Don’t forget that you’ll be looking over your shoulder for the rest of your life with all the enemies your club has made. I’m not saying that our club doesn’t have our share of enemies, we do. We try to stay on the right side of the law but this time, we had to go against the law to save our community. None of our brothers have had to go to prison yet, but we do dole out our kind of justice to pedophiles and people who abuse their spouses. We just haven’t gotten caught yet because our club is the law in our small town.” Raider takes in a long breath. “Look, I didn’t come here to talk club dynamics today. I just don’t want our family to get caught in any crossfire from either of our clubs.” Raider said it—ourfamily. That gives me hope—hope of a relationship with my only son.
“I understand and agree. The only thing I have to say on the subject of our clubs is if your ever need anything when it comes to your club, just let me know. My club was started by family and we run it as a family. That includes you. I won’t push it now. We’re here for assistance if need be.” I say what needs to be said about the subject.
“You’re right, that is for later. I just wanted to have this talk so we can co-exist in this family. We can work on us later, after we take care of Mom and Billie.” Raider is a good man and I know I have no right to claim that any of that is from me. I know this is how Honey has raised him. I do feel proud of him and it makes my heart feel good. He gives me hope for our future. That’s all I can ask for. “Mom loves you and I know she never stopped loving you through all these years. I can accept that. I didn’t want to at first, but she’s happier now than I have ever seen her. Her eyes glow and she laughs real laughs, not the fake ones she’s covered with forever. I would never interfere with that. I want Mom to be happy, and you make her that way. That almost choked me to say out loud.” We both laugh about that.
“Thank you for that. I won’t push you for anything. I just don’t want you to put up walls between us and close doors in my face. I have loved you from the moment I found out you existed.” He shakes his head in acknowledgment of what I’ve said.
“Just give me some time to get on the same page. I’ve hated the thought of what I thought you did to us. I know what I pictured in my head isn’t true now, but I just need to process. There is so much going on at once. I’ll process it but on my timeline.” Raider’s eyes tell me he’s telling me the truth.
“That’s all I ask of you. I’m going to put this out there for you to consider. I’m not pushing you though. Next spring, Reaper and I will be going to a cabin between here and your town. It’s on a big lake and we stay for three or four days every year. We just have some downtime. It’s mostly swimming, boating, and fishing, a lot of fishing. The cabin has plenty of room, five or six bedrooms. Reaper has invited Ryan. You’re invited if you want to come. No pressure. You have a lot of time to think about it. It’s completely up to you if you come.” Raider shakes his head, thinking about it. While he finishes up his food, I motion for the waitress to bring me the check. I know Raider won’t want to linger. He’s been away from Billie since early this morning.
“I’ll consider it. Is this just a man thing or can Billie come if she wants?” I knew he’d ask that question.
“If Billie is alright with that, then by all means, get her to come too. Reaper and I do this every year to just get away. We bought the cabin last year. We may just turn it into a family thing,” I answer Raider honestly. “I think your mom would like that.”
“You’re right, she would and so would Billie, if her family can come too.” I laugh at that.
“I think Reaper would be on board with that. He has a thing for Frannie, but that little tidbit of information didn’t come from me. One day, I’ll tell you all about your uncle Reaper and why this is a big step for him,” I tell Raider.
“I think I would enjoy that. I would like to know about my grandparents and any other family you have someday. I already know of Reaper’s ideas about Frannie. Every time I turn around, he’s at the farm and staying over. Frannie can handle him though. That woman is scary when she’s pissed.” I feel tears burning my eyes. I need to take a deep breath to keep them from falling. I need to share things with him about his grandparents. They would have loved him.
“I would enjoy telling you,” I tell him. The waitress brings the check and I pay her and give her a generous tip.
“Can I get you gentlemen anything else?” the waitress asks. I look at Raider. He shakes his head no but takes his wallet out of his pocket and hands her a ten-dollar bill.
“That’s for you, ma’am. The food and service were great.” The woman smiles.
“Thank you for the tip, both of you,” she says and then walks away. I smile at my son.
“You know, we left her a thirty-dollar tip for a twenty-dollar tab.” We both laugh. We stand and he looks at me and I look at him, both of us with tears in our eyes but too proud to let them fall. I don’t know if I should just walk away or say something that I know he doesn’t want to hear yet. My stomach feels like I might be sick. Before I can think about it, Raider sticks his hand out so we can shake hands. Not how I want this to end but I’ll take the effort it takes Raider to put his hand out to me. I shake his hand and then step back before I give in to the need to hug him.
“Billie wants all the people in the wedding to get together at her mom’s. Billie and Frannie are going to cook for us. It’s supposed to be an engagement dinner and to discuss everything that Billie has taken care of. Frannie wanted a big dinner at a restaurant but Billie wants simple. They’ve been butting heads in between Billie getting sick. I know it’s not funny, but when you’re there listening to them, it’s all I can do not to laugh. I keep it to myself so they don’t both throw me out. Mom was there the other day, and she had to have wine to deal with the two of them. She only stayed for an hour,” Raider says with a smile on his face.
Honey had told me about that day. She said that Billie wanted simple and wanted to save the money to spend on the baby, or I guess babies now. Frannie wants the fine china and crystal glasses, and for the entire thing to be catered. Billie will have none of it. I don’t want to be anywhere near that house.
“That sounds good to me. Honey will tell me when it is. I’ll be there. If you need me to help with anything, just let me know,” I tell him. “I’ll see you then.” I start to turn and walk away but Raider grabs me and gives me a short hug. I pat him on the back and try not to grab hold and hug him tight.
“I want this to work. I want a dad in my life. I just need a little time.” I feel the tear roll down my cheek and I don’t give a fuck who sees it. I have my son giving me a hug for the first time in his life. It ends too soon and we’re both wiping our faces. “I need to get on the road.” He leaves me standing there and I feel my heart has doubled in size. I walk out of that diner feeling a lot lighter. I know my son and I will work this out, and we’ll have each other in our lives.
31
THE WEDDING DAY
Billie
Today is my wedding day. I am going to marry the man of my dreams and Raider is exactly that. I slept in my bedroom last night and Raider stayed in the barn apartment. Mom and Honey insisted. Everything is going just as planned. I ended up giving in and I let Mom order fresh flowers for the wedding if they were fresh magnolias. She paid a small fortune to have them shipped here. I did agree to carry a small bouquet of roses down the aisle and Maggie is carrying a single rose. I also have a small bouquet as a throwaway bouquet. It was a compromise I could handle for my mom’s sake.
