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Cadillac, Michigan, 2059
Lightning flashed across through the stormy night in the near distance. An oncoming storm was blowing into our small town. It wouldn’t be long before it poured down on this wasteland. This would be the first big rain of the dry summer we’d already had.
Being in the forest, miles away from where I lived, there was little difference in coverage between under the trees and the tiny clearing I stood in. The dying limbs of the trees surrounding me wouldn’t protect me from the onslaught of hail, or even lightning, if it struck anywhere near me.
The rulers of our fallen country warned us of this last-minute thunderstorm. It would only be the start of a terrible summer of storms that could kill thousands. This year, we’d already lost over a thousand people from the brutal blizzard at the end of January.
But I didn’t want to let some electrical storm scare me away from doing this. I wouldn’t have another chance for a while, and I hoped the rain would cover any trace of what I was about to do. It went against the law that would result in the death penalty if found.
I licked my bottom lip as I peered at the large bonfire I had built a few hours before the sun set. The wind cut through the trees, making the flames dance higher into the sky. I mentally patted myself on the back for choosing an open space to build it. The last thing I needed was to spark a fire in the woods and risk getting caught.
I was about to start praying, but I hesitated. I had been nervous about what, or who, would answer my prayer for the past hour and a half.
But what was the worst that could happen? Death? Already I wished for it. The world I lived in wasn’t one I wanted. It was nothing but misery and the feeling of being on edge of what would occur next.
Women were property. Men were in control. Food was sparse, and the water wasn’t clean. Even the rainwater wasn’t drinkable—so they said. If we collected rain and were caught, they would kill us. There was no begging for your life or asking for a second chance.
Little girls and boys weren’t safe from the old rich men. Fortunately for me, I had gotten away every time they took me to the mayor’s home for a “blessing.” I’d learned at ten years old that visiting Mayor Connell wasn’t to play with his son, who was only two years older than me.
I was twenty-two years old and had never experienced a day of peace. I wasn’t around during the downfall of the United States, but I’d heard from those who were older than me that women hadneverknown peace before the country’s collapse. We’d forever been property and punching bags for men.
I always wished to be in a better world. For once in my life, I wanted to know what it felt like to go to sleep at night and not have nightmares where I woke up every hour to make sure I was alone. I wanted to know how it felt to be treated as a person with feelings and dignity. But most of all, I wanted freedom. If I couldn’t have any of that, then I didn’t wish to be around anymore.
Because I was terrified of being pinned beneath a fat, balding old man, I had a friend take my virginity. I didn’t want someone to take it against my will. It meant nothing to me, even as much as the church talked about purity. I despised it, and laughed after the shortest minute of my life as my friend rocked into me before he finished. I didn’t mean to make him feel bad, but I couldn’t stop myself from laughing in relief. I’d taken something away from the rich men who would’ve taken it from me without my consent, and it filled me with sick humor.
I was tired, and this life wasn’t one I wanted anymore.
What more did I have left to lose if I prayed?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
Whoever was on the other side, waiting for me to pray, didn’t scare me. Nothing did anymore. Whatever these entities were, maybe they had something better to offer.
At this point, there was nowhere else for me to go other than up. If death was the only thing, then I would gladly accept it. I only hoped that it would be fast and painless.
I pushed the hood of my cloak back, freeing my long black hair. Strands danced in the wind and tickled along my cheek and nose.
Releasing a shaky breath, I knelt facing the fire and glanced at the trees surrounding me in the clearing. I was sure I was alone, but as soon as I got to my knees, everything around me seemed to die or hold its breath. It could’ve been in my head and I was just nervous about this.
I’d heard about how people prayed. They put their palms together and bowed their head as they murmured to an invisible deity who lived in the clouds.
Placing my hands together, I raised my eyes to the stormy night sky and brought my bottom lip between my teeth. Lightning arced across the sky and thunder rolled in the distance. I searched for anyone in the clouds who would listen to my wish. When I didn’t find anyone, I closed my eyes, released my lip from my teeth, and tilted my head back down.
I focused on who else would listen to me, rather than entirely on the ones the leaders warned us about. If I thought about them, what could manifest? One thing I learned while listening to the older women was to be careful of your thoughts because they could become reality. Instead, I sent my thoughts to whoever listened and could make this wish come true.
Releasing another shaky breath, I began.
“If you can grant wishes, please grant mine.” My heart pounded beneath my chest, making me dizzy from the sudden rush of adrenaline. Already my palms had become clammy. “I don’t want the world like this. It isn’t a good life. I don’t. . .” I bit my lip as I thought about what I had almost said.
Fuck it.
“I don’t want to be here anymore. If there’s another life or alternate universe, I want to be there. Please.” Something opposite to this couldn’t be that awful. I’d heard about parallel universes. If this was bad, it had to be good on the alternative side.
Everything went still and quiet. I thought it was calm before, but this was eerily silent.
Slowly, I slid my eyes open and peered around. The fire no longer danced in the once-blowing wind. Only pops of the wood and sounds of nature could be heard. Crickets chirped, and somewhere toads croaked. Lightning still streaked across the sky, but the thunder had faded.
I raised my gaze to the sky and watched the bolts snake in the night. They flashed in quick successions, and with it came the feeling of the cosmos still holding its breath. The pulse in my neck thundered, and my breathing quickened.
