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There is a thud on the other side. His voice seems closer, as though he’s right up against it. “Like what? It was nothing but a quick fix. It was pent-up frustration from us. It was a mistake – one I’ll spend the rest of my life making up to you. Open the door. Let me face the hurt I’ve caused you.”
That’s twice he called me amistake. How is telling me he loved me a mistake? Every look, every touch, every kiss… everything was a mistake?
When I look at Emery, I see the ice in her eyes has melted a little. I don’t realisewhyuntil my teardrop falls onto my chest.I’m crying.
Her still eyes don’t move from me as she says, “Leave me alone. Go away.”
He sounds close to tears. “Please. I’m sorry. I fucked up, I know. Let me make it right.”
Her steps are blurry as she comes towards me. “Leave Xavier. You’re hurting me.”
“She means nothing to me. She’s just a girl who took my order. She got into my head, and I forgot who I was.”
Emery kneels on the ground and takes my hand in hers. “He’s not worth it,” she whispers.
Why is she showing me sympathy when I don’t deserve it?
This shouldn’t hurt like it is. I was at the crossroads and chose Huxley. So, why am I crying? Why does it feel like someone has stripped me raw and set my heart on fire?
“I love him,” I cry quietly.
Never once had I imagined my admission being to Emery. I never thought I’d voice my feelings to anyone buthim.
“She made me become the same as my mother. I hate her as much as I hate myself.”
Emery covers my mouth to stop my cry from spilling out. She shakes her head. “Don’t give him the satisfaction of your tears.” She turns back to the door. “Please go.”
I pull my lips together to stop the loud cries begging to be released. I dig my nails into my palm to distract me from the assault on my heart. Only a few hours ago, he told me he loved me, and I believed him.
“Let me make this right. What do you want me to do? I’ll go over there now and kick her out. I’ll tell her it was a mistake. I’ll make her leave the city if that’s what you want.”
He used me. He never meant anything he said to me. The betrayal comes second to the heartbreak I’m feeling.
“Stop talking,” she warns.
His pathetic begging doesn’t stop. “It was nothing special. She doesn’t come close to you.”
I stand to open the door and make him face me. I want to confront him in front of her so he can’t deny all the lies he told me.
Emery grabs my arm to stop me. “I’mbeggingyou. Please leave.”
He pounds on the door again. “Why would I want her? She’s nothing compared to you. I was desperate, and she was easy. I love you.”
Those three words break me in ways I thought a man never could. My knees buckle under the weight of heartache, and I fall to the ground.
Emery falls with me. She wraps her arms around me. “You’re breaking my heart,” her voice cracks. “Go.”
Only in this moment I realise she’s not asking him to leave for her, but forme. She doesn’t want him to hurt me more than he already has.
Silence follows her request until we hear his footsteps slowly fade away. She kneels on the ground before me. “I’m sorry,” she whispers.
I wipe my tears. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I was naïve and stupid.”
“Men only enjoy the chase. Once they’ve shot their prey, they leave it for the elements to eliminate the destruction they caused. Or worse, they take it home and parade it around as if it is something to be proud of. But they never think about anything but themselves.”
I push the pain aside. I’m used to being angry. I’mgoodat being angry. I clear my throat. “I’m not something to parade around. I’m not a fucking damsel in distress. I’m packing my shit and getting out of here. I’ll deliver the baby to term. Foryou.“ I wrap my arms around her. “I don’t deserve your kindness.”
Emery pulls back from the hug and shoots me an incredulous look. “He’s not going to let you go. Men like him may not know how to love, but they know how to keep.”
