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She stands in the middle of the room, quiet and calculating.The explosion is coming any moment now.
“You don’t deny it?”
He kicks his shoes off and removes his suit jacket. “Does it matter what I say? I don’t feel bad, and I won’t apologise for it.”
My eye twitches in anticipation of her anger. She was ready to rip my throat out when I removed her pathetic ex from her life. Why isn’t she screaming at him? Why is shecryinginstead? She covers her mouth as she cries, and he watches. If that were me, I would dry every tear falling. Ray is kicked back, watching her fall apart.
“You were supposed to be the good one,” she cries. “I thought you had a clean heart.”
Very good. Let your hatred for him grow.
“Nobody has a clean heart, sweetheart. They were bad people, and I did an equally bad thing to make the world a slightly better place. Don’t expect me to feign guilt because I slept the best I have in a long time that night, knowing they were taking their last breath.”
“We could have reported them! There were so many options except murder!”
Something comes over her. Her eyebrows pull together. She stares at him in disbelief.
“Is that why you kept your head down? You made sure nobody could identify your face. Hux—“
His standing up forces her to stop talking. He towers over her but doesn’t touch her. “There was no other option. Let this go.”
If there is one thing I know about her, she doesn’t like it when someone tells her what to do. As expected, Savannah’s face contorts to rage and her fists ball. “Let it go? Are you fucking kidding me? You murdered him.”
“He died from a toxic batch of heroin.”
“Thatyouprobably sold him.”
“No.”
“Thenyoupaid someone to sell it. Regardless, it wasyou.”
“No, actually. It wasyou.”
Silence descends on her bedroom and my office. I lean in closer as if it will propel him to explain himself. There is no way this coward would pin it on her.
When she doesn’t respond, he continues. “I had no intention of having them killed untilyougot in their face and made threats. You practically told them who you were. I’ve been in this business long enough to know they weren’t letting it go. They planned to dispose of you because you are the only proof of what they were.“ He steps to her, making me want to break his legs. “I did it to protectyou, so how about a thank you?”
She backs away from him, fingers trembling. “You could have protected me without committing murder.” Her cries are back. “How am I supposed to look at you the same way? You are responsible for taking four lives, Hux. Maybe more, how would I know?”
His shoulders square. He holds the anger sheshouldbe feeling. “And what about the lives they took? Instead of putting those women out of their misery, they left them with a lifetime of pain. Those women have to remember what happened every time they close their eyes.”
“We aren’t God! We don’t get to choose who lives and dies. We aren’t mercenaries of death!”
Ray doesn’t back down. His voice raises in decibel. “Iam,“ he declares. “They destroyed lives and carried on living. They raped your mum. They are the reason you have been alone! They are the reason you’ve had to fight on your own! Who was protecting you?”
He wavers. Ray looks around the room in conflict with his thoughts. He continues. “I monitored their movements after that day. She was their first.” He swallows hard. “They called you a rookie mistake. They were reassured because they never made the mistake of forgetting a condom after your mum.”
Savannah backs away until she slides down the wall. Her head falls into her hands as she cries. I patiently wait for her to kick him out. But she doesn’t say a word.
Ray’s voice is calmer now. “I told you that you are the only person I would kill for.”
She lifts her head. “I didn’t think you meant it literally!”
“Well, I did!” he shouts, finally showing some emotion. “I never say anything I don’t mean. Words aren’t meaningless things. They aren’t just a different combination of the alphabet to me! When I say I would die for you, I mean it! When I say I would kill for you, I mean it.” His voice drops low enough that I have to put my audio up to the highest. “And when I say I love you, I mean it. It’s not just letters or words to me, sweetheart.”
My silence matches hers. Like twin flames, we stare at him in surprise, but mine is drenched in rage andbetrayal. Ray has always been my most trusted, but one woman changed everything. I wonder if he would still love her if he knew she was fucking me as well? I wouldn’t degrade our relationship to such a pesky word, but maybe if I accidentally let it slip and phrased it as such to him, it would take care of the problem. He wouldn’t want her knowing she was in love withme.
“Come on. Say something. Reject him,” I mutter.
