AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was your dildo.” More than one person laughs at my expense. “Biggest thing I ever saw. Probably should be considered a weapon if you ask me.”
Orcus’ hand finds my thigh under the table. “How big was it again?”
“If you ever want to get laid again—”
“This big,” Edgar interrupts, forming a big circle with his hands. “When I woke up, I thought for sure I’d finally run her off, but then I thoughtDaisy would never leave without saying goodbye. So then I started looking… and when I found the dildo in the bathtub, I was a little horrified.” He wrinkles his nose. “Getting herself off in my bathroom? What kind of caretaker was she? But then I saw the amulet. I realized what had happened and knew I had to find Daisy. She had no idea what she was in for. I got into the bathtub and made a wish and boom!” He slams his hand on the table. “I’m falling into a bathing pit and this big ogre is yanking me out by the collar of my shirt.”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Oretta holds up her hand. “You never said what you did with the dildo.”
“Maybe he used it,” Orlena teases.
Maddox, Orcus’ best friend and an Orlena super fan, bursts out laughing.
Edgar’s cheeks flush. “I’d never use a used dildo!”
“But you would use one?” Orlena asks. A warm breeze whips through the garden and tosses pieces of her black hair into the air. Maddox sucks in a sharp breath.
My dude has it bad.
“No, that’s not what I said.” Edgar huffs. “You’re missing the point of the story.”
“Oh, no, Edgar. I think we all want to know exactly what became of my beloved dildo.” I bat my eyelashes at him and the old man scowls at me. The look is so him that my smile only widens.
“I did what anyone would do. I took it out and threw it away.”
“Did you use gloves?” Maddox asks.
Orcus’ fingers flex on my leg and a wave of possessiveness rushes through the bond.
Edgar hesitates, flicking his gaze to Orcus. “I didn’t have time to think about gloves. I knew I needed to find her.”
“So, technically, you’ve touched Daisy’s va—”
“Don’t finish that sentence,” Orcus snaps at his best friend who gives me a smug smirk, more than pleased at having riled my mate.
“Right. And we all know the rest of the story from the thousand other times Edgar’s told it. Can we please stop talking about my dildo?” My cheeks flame as I say it out loud again.
Orshana chuckles under her breath. She’s an angel. She never makes me feel ashamed but that doesn’t mean I’m not embarrassed every time the story is told.
“Fine, fine.” Edgar sits back and glances at his kids. “Anyway, you all know how much I wish I could’ve come back sooner and made things right.”
Edgar’s guilt weighs him down, but Roland pats his shoulder and the old man glances at his son with watery eyes.
“It’s okay, Dad,” Roland says. “We’re happy you’re here now.”
“And I’m happy that story is over,” Cici says with a shudder. “Hearing my dad talk about dildos is wrong.” The others share sympathetic looks with her.
The air pressure changes and a swirling, shimmering portal appears a few feet away from the table. I open my jaw to pop my ears as we wait for Zyla to appear. We’ve all gotten so used to her showing up that we aren’t even fazed by the impressive display of magic.
“What did I miss?” she asks as she steps through, blonde hair whipping behind her. The simple black slacks and pretty cream top cling to her, and I don’t miss the way Orlena slides her gaze to Maddox to see if he notices. To his credit, the ogre doesn’t even spare the witch any attention.
Zyla flicks her wrist to close the portal, but before it can collapse in on itself, Callum jumps out, wearing his signature trouble-making smirk. The witch glares at him and finishes closing the portal. He winks at her and takes the seat next to Maddox. Zyla stares at the one beside him for a moment, as if willing it to explode. We share a look, and she rolls her eyes.Don’t ask.
The tension between those two is obnoxious. Callum is the biggest butthead, but Zyla is also one of the most stubborn people I’ve ever met. I can’t help but wonder when they’ll finally give in and start dating.
“Edgar was telling us the story about how he got back, again.” I arch an eyebrow. “You didn’t miss anything.”
“Did he already get to the dildo?” Callum asks, and Orcus nods. “Fuck. That’s my favorite part.”
