AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"That was interesting." I turned to Tessa. "And what happened to living with Grady? And, if she went to school with Brandt, that makes her six years older than you."
"We need to talk." She grabbed my hand and dragged me outside.
The chill attacked my bare skin as soon as we stepped out onto the back patio. I rubbed my arms as we claimed a heater at the far end. The rain was coming down hard now. Tessa pulled out a joint and lit up.
"Seriously? Everyone Mom and Dad know is just inside."
"Then shield me. Geez, no one's going to come out here for any other reason than to smoke, and this is way healthier than cigarettes. Want a puff?"
I gave her my signature disapproving glare. "What the hell is going on, Tess? I thought you were moving in with Grady?"
"We were. I mean, we are. Shit, Bay, I don't know. Grady's intense, and I'm not. I love him, Bay. I really do, but I need my freedom."
"I'm not buying it, Tess. What's going on?"
She took a deep hit, and after a moment released, and I didn't mean just smoke.
"I was pregnant, Bay."
Holy…what?I was stunned and didn’t know what to say.
"Say something, please. You're freaking me out."
I shook my head in disbelief. "Does he know?"
"No, I miscarried before I had a chance to tell him."
My mind was spinning with thoughts of what she went through alone, and it pissed me off. "Why wouldn't you tell me? I don't understand. We've never kept secrets, Tess. Ever!" I was raising my voice.
"This is why." She pointed out my reaction.
"That's not fair, Tess! I've never judged you. I've never given you a reason not to trust me or not to let me be there for you."
"I know." She hung her head and put out the joint. "I was scared because I didn't plan on keeping it anyway. I didn't want you to convince me to keep it, because I know you would have. I'm not ready for all that. I'm not you, Bay. I don't want to get married and have babies. Not right now."
I wanted to smack the stupidity out of her, but I couldn't. I just felt sorry for her. I wrapped her in a hug and held her tightly. She cried harder than I had ever seen her cry before. She needed to tell someone. She needed me.
"I love you, Tess. Nothing will ever change that. Never keep secrets from me again." I kissed her on the head.
She kept her head buried in my embrace and said, "I promise."
I sneaked her into the bathroom to clean her up. When I wiped away the running mascara, she was lost in her head. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I hadn't really felt it yet, you know? All the emotion."
"When…did you…?"
"A few weeks ago. I ran into Becca after everything, and she mentioned she was starting this semester at Stanford but was living with a bunch of students off campus. She wasn't super thrilled about it because she was going back to school after some crazy shit happened to her and she just wanted to stay focused, so I mentioned maybe us sharing a dorm room. I freaked out. I'm still freaked out. I can't do real life right now, Bay."
"I know. You're too young anyway. I can't believe you're thinking about ending it with Grady. You guys have been inseparable since freshman year. Don't you think you should tell him about the baby either way?" The horror in her eyes said it all.
She grabbed my arms. "You have to promise me you won't tell him or Brandt. Or anyone. Promise me, Baylor!"
"Geez, Tess. I won't. Calm down. I'm your sister, and you come first. It's your news to tell if you ever want to, not mine."
She hugged me hard. "Thank you." She was ready to go back to the party.
"I'm worried about you. Should I be worried?" I inquired.
