Page 79 of Memories of Me


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Kiss Me

I FELL BACKand hit the floor hard. "Ow," I grumbled while rubbing my head. I was staring up at Grady.

"What are you doing?" he growled.

"What does it look like? Sleeping. Didn't you know it's totally normal to sleep sitting up?" My sarcasm was lost on him, so I sighed instead. "Can you help me up?" I lifted my hand, which he grabbed, and pulled. "What time is it?"

"Almost five."

I had been sleeping like that for hours.

"Have you been here the whole time?"

"Yep." I nodded proudly. "Well, I went to the bathroom at some point, but yeah, pretty much."

"I don't need a babysitter." He walked around me.

I peeked into his room and saw a couple of empty vodka bottles on his dresser, the sheets unkempt, and an overflowing laundry basket. "I can do laundry today."

"I can do my own shit," he said as he rifled through the fridge.

"I know you can, but I don't think you will."

He slammed the fridge door shut with a force that knocked some plastic cups off the top, startling me. I had never seen him like this before.

"Why should I? She's dead, Bay. Why should I do anything?” Tears threatened to surface. He coughed them back and continued, “You have Brandt. I have no one."

His words dug deeper, stinging as they carved their way to my heart. "You have me," I said very carefully.

"That's right. I have you, Bay." He bit through his teeth.

"What do you want from me, Grady? I miss her, too. I loved her just as much. I love you. I don't want to see you this way. I want to help you."

He was leaning on the counter with his arms folded across his chest, studying me. He was clearly buzzed. He pushed off the counter and approached me. I took a few steps back until the couch stopped me. The way his eyes drank me in as he came closer made me uneasy. My pulse quickened, and my stomach flipped. This was it. This was the end of our friendship. I could see it in his eyes. He stopped only inches from me.

"You want to help me, Bay? You really want to help me?"

He was angry, but the hurt escaped, too. I nodded. I was terrified to speak.

"Then, kiss me. Kiss me like you kiss Brandt. Remind me what it feels like to live. To love, for fuck's sake. Because all I feel now is hate and jealousy. I want what you guys have." He raised his voice. "I deserve it."

I shook my head and started crying.

"See? You can't help me. You stand there looking like her. You hold my hand like her. Your eyes look at me like her. All I see is her when I look at you, and it makes me want to grab you and kiss you and see if you taste like her, too. If you kiss like her."

I was crumbling because I knew this was the moment I would lose my best friend. Right now, everything had to change. Everything would change, and I would suffer another loss.

"Please don't, Grady." I sobbed. His hands were balled into fists, fighting what he wanted versus what was right. My heart was pounding painfully now. "You're scaring me," I whispered.

His face fell, and his eyes softened. He reached out and caressed my cheek. "I don't want to scare you. I just want to kiss you."

I let out a heartbreaking cry. I should have walked away, but my feet wouldn't move. I should have done more to stop him, but we were all so messed up now. We were a cluster fuck of madness, doing anything to just hang on one more day. His hand slid under my chin, and he raised my lips to line up with his. "Don't do this, Grady. We can never go back from this."

He thought about it for a second, but then tightened his grip on my chin and leaned in. I tried to pull back, but he tightened his grip harder and pinned me against the couch. I pushed against his chest as hard as I could, but he had at least a hundred pounds of muscle on me. I started whimpering. "Don't, Grady. Please, don't."

Just as his lips pressed on mine, the front door slammed open, and before I knew what was happening, Brandt was on Grady.

"What the hell are you doing, Grady?"

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