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“Thanks for coming all the way out here. You didn’t have to.”
She closed her laptop. “I could tell you needed me. Plus, bonus points for being at the beach.” She smiled widely.
“Are you cool if I catch some sets before dinner?”
“Only if you’re cool teaching me.” She crossed her arms, playfully glaring at me.
I had been promising her forever that I would teach her to surf, but I was always on tour. Now that she was all healed up, I owed it to her.
“You’re on. Drew left his board, but I don’t have a wetsuit that will fit you.”
“It’s fine. I’ll survive.” She jumped up and squealed. “I can’t believe my big bro is finally going to teach me to surf.”
I laughed. I was happy she came.
Evie lasted about an hour and then went back to the Airstream to shower. She didn’t do so bad for her first time and actually rode a couple of smaller waves. She was a natural.
I did my best thinking on the water, so I stayed out for a while longer, contemplating the crossroads I was at in my life. Meeting Charlee had changed everything for me. Just being around her and hearing everything she had been through made me want to be something more.
For her.
I didn’t know what that meant or where it would lead me, but the whole point of my road trip with Drew was to figure it out. I just never factored in meeting someone. Especially someone like Charlee.
Something she said had stuck with me. I didn’t have to give up everything I was in order to become someone I wanted to be. I loved surfing and I didn’t really want to quit. If I could do it like Bridger, staying clean and maybe mentoring, then I could incorporate it into whatever else I might find on my soul-searching journey. Bridger had it all: the surf life, a house, a wife. He was living the dream.
I wanted the dream.
Charlee
Genesis crashed with me for the night. We had both drank a little too much wine and stayed up a little too late catching one another up on life. It was nice sharing with someone again. She was the only other person I had ever been close to once, other than Bridger. When she left town, I basically gave up the idea of nurturing a new friendship that deeply. Bridger and I shared everything, so that was enough for me at the time. Had I known one day I wouldn’t have him, I might have tried harder in my very limited social circles.
Genesis canceled her rental to stay with me. I tried to talk her out of it, but she insisted, and when Genesis had her mind set, there was no changing it.
She was still asleep when I snuck outside with my coffee to watch the sunrise from my porch with Midnight in my lap.
“Morning,” Genesis said as she walked carefully down the steps, rubbing sleep from her eyes with one hand and holding a coffee in the other.
“Sorry, did I wake you?”
“You’re fine.” She took a seat on the steps. I only had one chair because I never intended on having guests. “I remember the days I would drag you out of bed.” Genesis laughed softly to herself.
“Yeah,” I said, remembering all the early surf sessions.
“Do you still surf?”
“Not since Bridger passed,” I admitted. “I just can’t seem to get myself out there again.” A sharp pain stabbed my heart. “You?”
“Not since Jayden. I was never really a big surfer, though. I was in it for the tan and hot guys.”
We shared a laugh. I shared a lot of things with her last night, like how we came here every year and skinny-dipped. She remembered when I had lost my bathing suit. I also told her about our last surf session and coming here the night before he passed. It felt good to talk about all those things. It was cathartic. There was one thing I didn’t share with her, though, and it was heavy on my heart.
“You asked me last night why we didn’t have kids.” I paused.
“Yeah, but I didn’t want to press when you didn’t answer,” she replied supportively.
“We tried for a long time to get pregnant, but it put a strain on our relationship, so we stopped trying and talked about revisiting the idea after we did some traveling.” It hurt my soul to remember the toll it took on us. It’s like once we decided we wanted to have kids, it was the be-all and end-all, and when it wasn’t happening, it started to break us. “And then.” I paused. My hands were shaking. Aside from Bridger’s death, what I was about to tell her was one of the most upsetting times of my life.
“It’s okay, Char. You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”
