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He stared at it in silence, the solitude of the room making him feel like they were the only two in the world.
He’d thought leaving her would reduce the threat against her, but he’d erred in his judgment. Not only had they attacked her, but they’d used her daughter.
The anger and frustration running through his body at his own stupidity, made him pull his hand from hers but before he could fully retreat, she placed her hand atop his.
“Don’t.” she ordered softly.
He stilled; he eyes jerking to hers. “I have to leave.”
“I don’t want you to.”
“Sabina you know this—,” “No, I don’t know.” Her hands tightened on his hand her eyes bright and despite her obvious wounds from the attack. Determination leaked from her, “I don’t know why your running from me.”
He lowered his eyes, “It’s complicated.”
“Is it? Or are you making it that way?”
He could only shake his head.
“I’m trying to keep you safe.” He tried to explain.
“Look at me Raijin.” She snapped, forcing him to look at her. She pushed herself up, “Do I look safe to you? Look at me, and tell me, that your running away has kept me safe?”
He didn’t know what to say to her, he felt like crapt seeing her wounds. The scar on her neck, from where the claws of the kidnappers had dug in and the purpling wound near her left eye stood out in stark relief on her face. His guilt ate at him.
“What do you want from me?” He harshly demanded jerking his shirt from her hold, and grabbing her wrist, jerking her forward. “What is that you think I can give you, Sabina?”
She pressed her lips together, glaring at him.
He knew he shouldn’t lash out at her but, she was the source of the disruptions of emotions within him. The day he’d met her, his entire world had tilted and now he couldn’t stomach the site of her harmed and yet, he wanted to hurt her. He pushed her away, like a wounded animal.
“We—us, can’t be. I can’t be with you, not when you—,” his lips worked over his confession, but nothing came out. His skin prickled, as his eyes searched her face. “When you—.”
“I know for people like you, like me. It’s nearly impossible to have normal.” She said, her voice shaking with emotion. “I know between magic, being a divorcee and carrying a secret that everyone and their mother are after. I’m the last person to be making demands, but what I want from you—what I need from you is…just you.” Her voice warbled.
His eyes widening slowly, Raijin watched her soft eyes fill with tears. The lips he’d dreamed of trembled, as she leaned in toward him. “I only need you.”
With a shudder, he closed his eyes. Running through all the reason, he couldn’t love her. He should get up and walk out. He should leave her, and never look back. But, he couldn’t.
Raijin had avoided making ties with anyone for the very reason he wore a mask, to hide his face from those who may recognize him. His demons had never been put to sleep; he’d lied when he’d said his past had long ago stopped applying to him.
He was still the boy, sitting in the cave awaiting his mother’s return. Naively hopping that one day she would approve of him, and not treat him like a curse.
“Raijin?” She called his name gently.
He opened his eyes but didn’t look at her. “You don’t know what you’re asking of me.”
“Then tell me.” She yelled, “Tell me why you can’t be by my side? Is it because I’m a witch?”
Tired of fighting he snapped, “Because I desire you for more than fucking.” He said fiercely, “I also want to taste you, devour you.” His eyes brightened till they turned red. “Everything. Dammit Sabina, I can’t be within a foot of you before my stomach turns and my mouth waters. I want you. God yes, I want you, but I am not willing to be the monster that takes your life.”
Startled, she only stared at him in shock.
“Do you know what it’s doing to me to sit here and not claim you?” His hold on her wrist tightened, “I want to be inside of you, but Ialso want to consume you. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I wish I could give you normal. Hell. I wish I was human, but I’m not.”
His expression went from anger to despair, “I’m not…and I love you too much to take that chance.”
Releasing her wrist, he stood abruptly. “I’ll send Malcolm in to watch you.”
