AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Aw thanks, Ev. Too bad he cockblocked me, though.”
Her mouth drops open. “Len!”
“What?” I laugh, and then I fill her in on the details of Holden seeing me in the hallway with another guy when I went to the wrong floor.
“Ah well, the guy seemed like a dick anyway,” I say. “But dammit, I wanted to get laid.”
“Maybe you should’ve asked Holden to fix that little problem of yours.” There go her eyebrows again.
“Girl, don’t wiggle your eyebrows at me ever again,” I say with a chuckle. “And again—the thing about keeping stuff between Holden and I the same, which means just friends? Yeah, that still applies from when we just talked about it a minute ago.”
“Okay, okay you’re probably right. I get it. Things could get messy. And weird.”
“Exactly. It’s much better to fuck the guys that arenotin our friend group.”
“Oh my God, Len. I can’t with you.” She shakes her head and giggles, her cheeks turning pink. I love her reactions. Isn’t she used to my mouth by now? Besides, I’m convinced she’s a wild girl under her good-girl look. I’ve seen her cut loose.
“You know it’s the truth.” I finish my coffee, and then I stand once again and stretch. “As much as I’d love to sit here and talk all day, I’ve gotta get ready for my shift at the lab this afternoon.”
We say our goodbyes, and I hurry into the bathroom, in desperate need of a long hot shower. I let out a sigh of relief as the scalding water hits my skin. If only my thoughts would swirl down the drain like the water does. Sex with Holden, the thing I’ve been wanting and avoiding all at the same time finally happened, and I barely remember it. Another reason I don’t want to tell anyone about it.
I’m more annoyed Holden stopped my hookup last night than anything else. My usual outlet, my escape from all the shit, gone. But as much as I want to be mad at him, I find myself unable to. Why? I don’t know.
When I walk into the computer lab for my afternoon shift, Holden is already there, sitting at one of the staff computers. He looks up and smiles as soon as he sees me.Maybe that’s why. His irresistible smile lifts your mood more than you want to admit.
“Hey you, what’s good?” He watches me as I walk toward him, and my cheeks grow hot.Why do I feel like he’s undressing me with his eyes?
Stop. He’s not. Be real.
Right, be fucking for real. What the hell has gotten into me?
Since when do I care how he’s looking at me?
Distracting myself with my backpack, I shrug as I sit down at the computer station next to him. “Typical Monday, I guess. You?”
“Same. My classes get harder by the day it seems. Project after project, reports and tests. I’m over it.”
“I’ve been over it.” Sometimes it feels like I was over it before I even got here. I almost didn’t come, figuring why waste my time if I had no desire? But then what would I do at home? Continue working my shitty part-time job?
“Do you like being a liberal arts major?” Holden asks.
“Eh, it’s alright. I kinda feel like I have no direction. But that could also be because I’m not really focusing on anything specific.”
“Nothing appeals to you?”
“No.”Writing used to…but that was taken away.
“What about English lit and writing?”
I freeze. Holden may talk about his passions a lot but not me. Not many people know about my love of writing. Because unfortunately, I no longer have any love for it left. It was stolen from me.
But how would he know?
“Don’t look so shocked. You don’t remember we had English lit together freshman year?”
The memories rush back of class together, but still—how would he know my love for it? I know I did better in that class than any other and with minimal effort, considering my freshman year was a blur of parties and hangovers. “Yes, I remember. Wasn’t I always late to that class?” I brush it off like the class meant nothing. Another boring requirement for graduating.
“Yes, but you were the best damn writer in that class.”
