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“I know.”
“I just worry—”
I don’t let him finish. I’ve heard the same lecture before from others, so I know exactly what he’s gonna say. “Don’t worry about me. I’m a big girl,” I say with more attitude than I mean to.
He leans down close, his lips near my ear. “I know you are, my little firecracker. You deserve so much more than what you allow yourself.”
The nickname sends flames up and down my spine.
His little firecracker? What does that even mean?
I let his words float through me, but they don’t break through my impenetrable shield. I don’t deserve shit. Not after the way I acted. Not after the behavior I inflicted upon myself.
But Holden doesn’t know that. How could he?
Instead, he sees something I don’t even see in myself. And that scares the hell out of me. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t happy to see him at the party tonight. If I hadn’t, who knows what kind of train wreck tonight would’ve turned into. Usually, I wouldn’t care. Hell, most of the time I want it. The crazier, the messier, the better.
Tonight, though, I have Holden. And for now, that seems to be enough.
I haven’t sleptwith anyone since the night with Holden on the ski trip. Tonight, I plan to change that. After Holden left last night, I cried myself to sleep. Now I’m taking charge. I tell my friends I’m working but walk to a house party a few streets over instead. Hitting up parties alone is usually not my thing, but I’m on a mission, and it’s easier flying solo.
Once I’m there, I go straight for the drinks table. There are Jell-O shots and a huge punch bowl filled with some sort of fruity drink. I go for the shots, knowing they’ll do the job faster. After downing several back to back, I pour myself a cup of the punch and work my way through the party, scoping out the scene. Outside in the backyard is a fire in a large outdoor firepit with many people standing around. I saunter my way into the group in hopes of a joint being passed around, but to my disappointment, I don’t see one nor smell it.
Sipping my punch, I look around for a guy to shoot my shot with. There are lots of choices, new faces I haven’t seen, and others from various colleges in the area. I also need to make sure a certain someoneisn’there. That asshole. I hope the kick to his knee fucked him up good, and he won’t be at any parties anytime soon.
I spot a guy sitting by the fire, bobbing his head to the music with a beer in one hand as he vibes in his little world. He’s cute enough, and I take the opportunity to sit in the empty seat next to him.
“Hey.” I plaster on my flirty smile and bat my eyelashes. “Having a good time?”
He grins and leans close to me. “Now that you’re here.”
And that’s a slam dunk.
I place my hand on his knee. “I bet you say that to all the girls.” I wink, and he chuckles.
“Only the sexy red-headed ones.”
“Ah, so you have a type?”
“Maybe. Or maybe tonight you’re my type.”
I laugh. This guy’s good. “Wanna get the fuck out of here?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
I jump to my feet, abandoning my cup of punch, and grab his arm, pulling him to stand. “Come with me.”
He’s a little unsteady on his feet, but I slide my arm through his, and we manage to walk back inside the house without falling.
“You’re really cute,” he slurs as he stumbles into the kitchen and stops at the drink table. We do a shot together, and then I pull him toward the front door. “Damn, girl. Someone really wants to get laid, huh?”
“Lennox?”
I hear his voice before I see him and stop dead in my tracks. The guy I’m dragging behind me bumps into me, and I stumble forward. I would’ve hit the ground without a pair of strong arms wrapping around me and holding me upright.
The voice. The smell. The warmth. The comfort.
No! He’s not ruining my plans tonight!
