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“Shit. You at least had the time of your life both times, though, right?”
“Got drunk as fuck with my buddies.” A huge smile stretches across his face. “Worth every minute of scrubbing the toilet with a toothbrush and puking my guts out.”
“Oh no, not the scrubbing a toilet with a toothbrush. Your dad really was strict.”
“You don’t even know the half of it.” He grows quiet again, and when he turns his head, we lock gazes.Damn, those eyes. Deep like the ocean yet calm and inviting.His eyes travel up to my hair and back down to my face, like he’s drinking me in, analyzing my looks. He opens his mouth to say something, and I wait with bated breath. Why I care so much I don’t fucking know. Red hair, green eyes, and lots of freckles isn’t for everyone but for some reason, I want to know his thoughts as much as I don’t. His sandy-blond hair and blue eyes are nothing short of sexy as fuck, but I’m not about to say a damn thing. “So do you hate crowds, too?”
“No. I love parties and lots of people, the vibes and energy they give off. But I think I might’ve had one too many shots.”
He starts to respond when a loud screech stops him. Everleigh and Maia stumble toward us, both of them laughing hysterically. “There you are, Lennox!” Maia slurs, and Everleigh falls onto the sand in front of us, bringing Maia down with her. Both giggle uncontrollably.
“We couldn’t find you, Len!” Everleigh slurs. “But Holden did, hmm?” She wiggles her eyebrows, and we all laugh at her ridiculousness.
Holden. So that’s his name.
Holden, Holden, Holden.
Commit to memory.
He’s a nice friend.
He made me forget, which is exactly what I needed.
Back at the party, the crowd has thinned out with the talk of house parties happening off campus. I don't want to drag Holden into what was going to be a shit show for the rest of my night, so I distance myself from him and the guy group and find the one thing I need—alcohol. I take shot after shot to numb the pain and make me forget who I saw earlier and the shit reel of memories he brought. I keep scanning the party, hoping the evil prick is gone, which only leads me to more shots. When I finally feel nothing, I drag my girls to dance with me. At some point, most of our friends leave, and I tell my girls I have business to take care of and I’ll see them back at the dorms.
Within a few minutes, I find a cute boy to have some fun with. I tell him to take me home and fuck the shit out of me. Once inside his apartment, I put his hands on my waist. I kiss him and rip his shirt off. Only when I’m riding his dick do I finally let him touch me.
And even then, it's my hands leading his.
Just the way I want it to be.
The way it has to be.
So began my even deeper spiral into the world of partying, hookups, alcohol, and drugs. Once the tornado starts spinning, it’s impossible to stop it. It only grows stronger with time.
Until everything in its path is destroyed.
The target?
My life.
Chapter2
Lennox
Present time—Januaryof Junior Year
Sometimes I layawake at night and wonder if I’ll regret my decisions. Or maybechoicesis a better word. The ones that cause you to lose memories while time just keeps ticking by, closer and closer to the end of another chapter, but you just ignore it happening.
Much like the position I find myself in now. The second semester of my junior year of college starts next week, and I barely remember the past several months, hell, more like years. Bits and pieces clip together in my mind, wisps of memories I try to bring out from the depths of my brain. But most of it? An endless blur of events.
So will I regret it?
I don’t know.
What I do remember runs through my head like a broken reel of mismatched memories, and it’s a lot of skipping classes, sleeping all day, and barely making it to work. I’m surprised they haven’t fired me yet.
But the friendships are what I hold on to. Everleigh and Maia are my closest friends I live with now, Chloe and Madison make up the rest of our friend group, and then the group of guys. My thoughts always drift to one in particular. Holden. It’s been nothing but harmless flirting. His tame little self couldn’t handle me anyway. But out of all the guys, I’d consider him a true friend.
