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“Oh Len, have you told anyone? Have you gotten help? I wish you would’ve told me. I’ll help you or support you in whatever way you need.”
“I’m fine. I just don’t want to see that fucking asshole. And it’s fucked up that everyone just thinks he’s this great guy.”
Everleigh nods. “I’ll tell Landon—”
“No. I’ll handle it.” My voice drips with attitude. I can’t help it. I’m pissed off at the world right now and everyone in it.
A few moments of silence pass between us, and I pick at my pillow in my lap.Please just leave me alone…
“Hey, Lennox? You didn’t really sleep with Landon, did you? I mean, I know he joked about it before, but I didn’t think he was serious.”
Every part of me grows hot, like a damn fire being lit from the inside and spreading all over. “You’re really asking me that right now? After I just told you I was raped? Why are you asking me that? Is it because I’m a slut who sleeps with everyone?”
“No, because I like him.”
“Well yeah, I fucked him. Like him now?” I spit, the harshness of my tone surprising even me. But I’m just so fucking done. Done with it all. And no one understands how I just want to be alone.
“Are you sure Aaron raped you?”
I freeze, every part of me now stiff as a board. I stare at Everleigh as tears run down my face in streams.
Did she really just ask me that?
Are you sure Aaron raped you?
My hand tingles with the urge to smack her clear across the face.
But instead I grab my keys, phone, and wallet without saying a word.
When I get to the doorway I turn and face her where she still sits on my bed. “You’re a selfish bitch.”
Then I walk out the door without so much as a glance back.
I getin my car and don’t stop driving until I’m far enough away from campus to be able to breathe again.
Using the credit card my parents gave me for emergencies, I load up on gas, snacks, and drinks, and then I find a hotel to rent a room and call it a night.
None of my friends understand the meaning of wanting to be alone. So if I need to shut my phone off and disappear, then so be it.
As I’m unloading my bags from my trunk, I notice my beach bag underneath my folding lounge chair. I peek inside the bag, thinking there might be something I need, when I spot a full bottle of strawberry vodka. I totally forgot I left it there.
I smile for the first time in hours and grab my beach bag to take with me.
I spend the next couple of days drinking and binge-eating snacks.
My whole world feels like it's crashing around me.
My friends hanging out with the guy who raped me.
Aaron saying to Holden…be careful, she’ll say you raped her.
Freaking out on Holden, and he doesn’t even really understand why I did.
And Everleigh…what the fuck? How did our friendship get here?
Because you don’t tell her shit…
I don’t tell anyone anything. Why do they need to know? I’d rather pretend it didn’t happen and just accept my new fate.
