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Besides, I’m here to study and find a career. Away from the judgment of my family. Not be swept away by some fantasy with a girl. A girl who very much needs to get her life together. Not that that’s a bad thing. We’re just in different places in our lives, but it doesn’t mean we can’t be friends. I’ll be there for her one hundred percent if she needs me, and we can hook up if she still wants to.
Yet a part of me knows it won’t be that simple.
Nothing good in life is.
Chapter20
Lennox
I staya couple more days after seeing Landon before I finally return to campus. The first person I go to when I arrive home is Everleigh.
“I’m so sorry, Len,” she cries as she runs into my arms as soon as I walk through the door. She told me she’d be waiting in the living room when I texted her I was on my way.
My phone flooded with so many messages and phone calls from my friends. Even Rhett and Remi left me messages. Tyler and Chloe. Asher and Madison. Damn. I guess people were worried.
Madison said to call her when I’m ready. That we can be not okay together. And that she misses me so much. I miss her too.
Holden and Everleigh left several messages, with Holden having left the most. It tugs on my heartstrings when I think about Holden and what I’ve decided to do. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
I take a deep breath and sit down on the couch. “No, I’m sorry, Ev. I should’ve never called you a bitch.”
Everleigh sits next to me and threads her arm through mine. “Please don’t ever leave us again like that, Len. Everyone was going out of their minds with worry. If you hadn’t texted me today, I was planning to file a missing person’s report.”
“I’m an idiot. I’m sorry. I just…fuck, I felt like my entire world was crumbling around me. I still feel that way. All the carefully constructed walls I built, all gone. Poof.”
“But, Len, you don’t need walls around us. We’re your friends. We’re all here for you.”
“They’ve been built since that horrible night. I told no one. Not my parents, not the police,no one.Aaron threatened me, said he’d have my dad fired since his father is my dad’s boss. He also said it was my mother’s fault his scumbag of a dad cheated on his mom. Really? So my mom can’t go with her husband to his work events? I was scared into silence. I still am.”
“Tell your parents. I’m sure they’d understand. And legally, your father can’t be fired. He didn’t do anything to warrant it. What Aaron did to you is hisowncrime.”
“Yeah, but it’ll happen anyway. In our small town, Aaron’s family’s business carries a lot of weight. One little spark of a rumor or word gets out of what I accused Aaron of, and my father will be fired, and our family will be slandered all over town.”
“Len, I doubt that’ll happen. Because you’ll prove Aaron guilty, and then whose family name will be tarnished?”
“It’s not that easy.”
“I know.” She takes my hand in hers and squeezes it. “But you shouldn’t have to suffer in silence.”
I shrug. “You’re right. But it’s not an option for me. I just want to move on with my life and forget it ever happened. My father loves his job. I can’t ruin his life. I can’t ruin my life here and deal with all the rumors he’ll spread like he did to me in high school. I barely made it through after seeingLennox is a sluton all the bathroom walls.”
“You’re scared, and you have every right to be. But you need to deal with what happened. That doesn’t mean you have to tell anyone or press charges if you don’t want to. But for your own self, you need to heal, Len. What happened to you isn’t your fault.”
“What? I’m not blaming myself.”
“It’s not your fault, Len.”
“Ev, I know that. Why do you think—”
“Listen to me, Len. It’s not your fault. I know you blame yourself. Because I would too.”
“What do you mean?”
Everleigh’s eyes fill. “This guy I was dating in high school kept pressuring me to have sex. I told him I wasn’t ready, but he kept insisting. One night, things escalated, mostly from him being drunk, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. I kicked him in the dick and ran out of there so fast. While I was thankful I got away before he tried anything else, I blamed myself. For so long, I blamed myself. I turned him on too much, I wore skimpy clothes and flirted about sex, I was basically a tease. After weeks of crying in my room, my mom took me to a therapist. I learned that no matter what you do, what you say, or what you wear, no guy has a right to put his hands on you. No means no, whether it’s as simple as a handshake or a hug. If you say no, that’s your right. He needs to respect those boundaries.”
I burst into tears, an overwhelming flood of emotions hitting me sideways like a tidal wave.
Everleigh wraps me in her arms, and we cry together as she whispers over and over that it’s not my fault.
