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And on that beach, under the moon and stars above, I realize I love Holden. Not just as a friend.
I’m in love with him.
But the thought doesn’t bring me happiness. It does the opposite.
It breaks my heart in two.
Because I know he deserves so much more than me.
And for that, I set him free.
I leavethe day after finals. With my bags packed and my goodbyes said, I drive the hour home. Last week, I called my mom to let her know my plans. When she asked me if everything was okay, I broke down into sobs. But I told her I wanted to tell her in person. That while I was okay physically and not in any danger, I needed help.
She welcomes me with open arms, already cooking up a feast of all my favorite foods. Dad’s working late, but I didn’t mind. I’m happy to have some alone time with my mom. We didn’t always get along while I was growing up, a bit of overprotection on her behalf, but seeing as I’m her only child, it makes sense. At least now it does.
“What’s new in your world, pumpkin?” Her soft familiar smile relaxes me, and I sip my tea, which she makes perfectly every time. “Are you struggling in school?”
“A little but that’s not what I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to tell you about something that happened in high school.”
“In high school? That was years ago, why would you want to tell me about it now?” She laughs, and I wish I had something funny to tell her. But I don’t, so I just spit it out before I chicken out.
“I was raped.”
My mother gasps; one hand flies to her chest and the other to her mouth. The look on her face splits my heart open wide, and it’s instant waterworks.
“I’m sorry I never told you, but Dad could’ve lost his job if I said anything, and I couldn’t have that happen. I couldn’t—”
“Wait, what?” She cuts me off. “Dad could’ve lost his job?” Her eyes grow wide, and she slams her fist on the table. “I fucking knew it. I fucking knew that womanizer dickhead was a pervert. But rape—how could he do—”
I interrupt her this time. “Mom, slow down. It wasn’t Dad’s boss. It was his son.”
My mother gasps again. “His son? You mean Aaron? The one in your class?”
I nod. “Yep.”
She slams her fist again. “So help me God, I’m going to kill that motherfucker.” Then she sees my tears and jumps to her feet, rushing over to my side. She pulls me up and into a hug. “Oh my sweet baby girl. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
We cry together. “It’s not your fault, Mom. You always told me to stay away from the parties. I just didn’t listen.”
“You should be able to go to a party without the fear of being raped! No is no. Wait until I tell your father…oh, that kid is going to pay.”
“Mom, no. Please don’t tell Dad.” I break away from our hug and wipe my eyes.
“What? Of course I have to tell him!” She sees the look on my face, and her expression softens. “Oh pumpkin, I’ll understand if you don’t want me to, but he should know. Maybe he’ll finally quit that job he hates so much instead of only talking about it.”
“He hates it?”
Mom walks back to where she was sitting, and we both take a seat again. I sip my tea and wrap my hands around the warm mug.
“Yep. He has for years. His boss is a complete dick, treats everyone like slaves, and had the nerve to say I couldn’t come flaunting around to all the corporate events. Said I parade my goodies in front of everyone, and it could cause problems like infidelity and mistrust between employees. He needed them one hundred percent on point. When really, he was the one who's been cheating on his wife for years.”
“So that’s why Aaron said what he did.”
“What did that scumbag say?”
I tell her about his comments about my mother being a cock tease and causing his dad to be unfaithful to his mom.
“Hm, like father like son, I see. Will never open up to their own mistakes. It’s always someone else taking the blame. Fucking assholes.”
