AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Hey, Holden. Have a good break?” The sports director, Mr. Burns, greets me in the lobby. Another odd thing since he’s usually in his office.
“Not bad, you?”
“It was good. Can you come with me to my office for a minute? I need to talk to you about something.” He nods his head in the direction of his office and my stomach sinks to my feet. I rack my brain and try to remember if I forgot to do something before leaving for break, but I don’t think so. I closed up the place with Shawn, the other employee that night, and we made sure the building was secure and all closing tasks were done.
“Sure,” I answer and follow him, every step closer causing more anxiety to rush through me.
He gestures to one of the chairs in front of his desk and closes the door before sitting in his own chair. “I’m just gonna cut to the chase. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but unfortunately, I have to. The department has made some cuts and decided to let go of the part time jobs here.”
“No way, really? That sucks. I really liked working here.”
“I know. You and Shawn were hard workers. I hate to see you both go.”
“Yeah, it was a great couple of years. I hope they aren’t cutting all part time jobs. I’ll need to find something else.”
“As far as I know, only our department is making cuts. The computer lab is looking for help. Try there first.”
“Thanks. I appreciate it.” I hold out my hand, and Mr. Burns grips it in a firm handshake.
“Take care, Holden. If you ever need anything, a recommendation or a good word, let me know.”
“Thanks again.” I give him a smile because he deserves it; he’s always been a nice guy. But inside, I feel anything but happy. Because now I have to find a new job, and what if there aren’t any?
I can already hear my dad’s scolding voice as I walk back to my apartment, claiming I never follow through with anything. Funny thing is, he’s the reason I need the damn job in the first place. I didn’t want to be drowning in school loans when I graduated, and since he refused to help with any of the costs, this was my best choice. I chose not to join the military, so therefore, I was on my own. I remember the heated argument like it happened just yesterday. The crack of his fist against the side of my nose hasn’t faded and neither has the painful memory. My mother screamed as I ran out the door and as far away from there as I could possibly get.
“Who goes to college to play video games?What a waste of time and money. I’ll tell you what, though, son. It won’t be any of my money or time you waste. You wanna throw your life away learning about stupid-ass video games, then go right ahead. But don’t expect a dime from me.” His finger is inches from my face, and spittle flies from his lips as he yells.
I’ve fucking had enough. The rage inside me has grown to a point where it’s taking over my thoughts, eating at my soul, and filling my heart with hate.
Every damn day it’s the same insults. Video games are stupid, I’m throwing my life away, wasting my time and his, I’m supposed to be a soldier.
I hate him. I fucking hate him.
So when the disrespect falls from my lips, it’s like popping open a shaken bottle of soda. Explosive and unable to stop the mass destruction.
“Fine! I don’t want your money anyway, Dad! I’d rather work my ass off for what I want to do instead of becoming a slave to this country like you have. This country sucks, it treats its own veterans like shit, and over my dead body would I ever join the military.”
I knew exactly what to say to piss him off whether I believed the shit spewing from my mouth or not. It didn’t matter. The damage was done.
And so was the damage to my face.
We haven’t spoken since that night during the summer before my senior year. Thankfully, my face healed for the most part before school. He was sent overseas for work, and my brother was stationed at a military base across the country, leaving my last year of high school consisting of my mother being a workaholic to avoid our family problems and me applying for financial aid and following myowndream. Whether my parents liked it or not.
My mother and I didn’t speak much, but when we did, she made it clear she was on my side. That I should do what I want. But the problem was—she’d never stand up to my father. She’d never tell him she agreed with me. And it’s hard for me to see past that.
After graduation, I applied to move into the dorms early, and I haven’t been back since. On breaks, I visit my friends from high school. We actually didn’t move again after settling in a small town on the coast of Oregon my first year of high school. At least I got to experience those four years without new schools all the time.
I miss my mom. I wish she’d stand up to him. For herself and for all of us. Doesn’t she see how controlling Dad can be? Why can’t she tell him off for once?
Maybe we’d all be happier for it.
Or maybe the damage just isn’t fixable anymore.
When I get backto my apartment, Lennox is gone, and I feel disappointed all over again. But it’s just as well. I feel like shit and want to sleep. I strip down to my boxers, and when I get under the covers and pull them up to my chin, her scent, the one I was desperately hoping was still there, fills my nose.
Jeez, Holden. Get ahold of yourself.
But I can’t. The smell is intoxicating.
