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The words washed over me, every bit as real as they were impossible.
“And Liam? Have you heard if he’s safe?”
“That would be a question for the school, but on a personal level, no. I’m on my way there, but I haven’t heard from anyone who’s seen him. It doesn’t mean anything, Mari. We’ll find them.”
I knew he was lying. I understood why.
When I pulled into the designated pick-up area, it was barricaded to keep people back. I could see the school in the distance, but they weren’t letting anyone through. The street was filled with ambulances and police cars; children hugging their friends and classmates with tears in their eyes; parents aimlessly searching for their own children.
I pictured Liam’s dark curls, tan skin, and beautiful brown eyes. I knew he had to be somewhere looking for me, that he must be so scared. When I saw an officer with a clipboard I vaguely recognized from Declan’s department, I approached him.
“I’m… I’m looking for my son.”
“Name?” He hardly looked up from his clipboard.
“Um, Liam Morgan.” It sounded more like a question coming from my mouth. A question whose answer terrified me. “My husband, Declan, is an officer in the building. If you have any updates on him…”
The man’s eyes widened as he looked up at me, cutting me off. “You’re Declan Morgan’s wife?”
I nodded. “Is he okay?” I squeezed my trembling hands together.I can’t lose him. I can’t.
“Ma’am, I need you to come with me.” He gestured for me to follow him, leading me away from the crowd and toward two other officers I vaguely recognized. “Is the captain here yet?”
The captain… My blood ran cold.
The officers shook their heads.
“This is Mari Morgan, Liam’s mother,” he introduced us. “Declan’s wife.”
Their expressions instantly went solemn, and I knew he was gone even before they’d said it. “Ma’am…” The first officer lowered her head. “We received word just a few moments ago that your husband took down the shooter.”
My heart fluttered. “He… He did? So, he’s okay? He’s alive? Can I see him?”
“Not yet,” she said cautiously, and I sensed there was more.
“And Liam? Is he okay?” I knew the answer before she said it. I could see it in their eyes. I just wasn’t prepared for what came next.
“Your son, Liam… Ma’am, I’m so sorry…”
Sobs tore through my chest as I reached hysteria.He’s gone. He’s gone.“He’s gone, isn’t he? Please tell me he’s not gone.”
“Ma’am… Liam was the one shooting.”
* * *
I’m joltedback from my memories, more painful than any reality, and Declan is still holding the gun pointed toward Chris, who looks positively furious.
Kassara holds my face in her hands, staring down at me. “She’s back,” she announces to Declan, as if it’s a good thing. She brushes away tears and blood from my face. “Stay with me, okay? The ambulance is on the way. Just hang on. It’s going to be okay.”
It’s not, I want to tell her. It’s never going to be okay. How could it?
After Liam’s death, Declan left me. He couldn’t take the guilt of what he’d done when faced with an impossible decision. Couldn’t look me in the eye when he knew he’d done his duty, made the hardest decision of his life when a killer wouldn’t stand down, and in the process, took our only son away from me.
In truth, I couldn’t stand to look at him either. How could he do it? Duty or not, he was his father. He’d brought him home from the hospital, taught him to ride a bike, taken him fishing, taught him to drive. He’d loved him as much as I had—with his whole heart.
Then, he looked him in the eye and took his life.
I knew he didn’t have a choice. Declan would hardly talk about it, but I’d gotten the story from other people. There was no choice. If he hadn’t killed Liam, other innocent people would’ve died.
