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A shift in the wind allows my ears to pick up Ash closing in on me from behind. I’m not a competitive person by nature, but hell no is he beating me to the bottom today. I will finish first.
First, not second.
I’m tired of living a life where I’ve felt second best. Second child to my parents, second favorite sibling to Juliet (she’s always idolized Ash), second place in a band I equally helped create and grow, and second choice when it comes to girls. Well, no more.
Spotting the jump up ahead, I drop in to secure my speed and gain control of the board. As I pop off the lip, instinct takes over. My head and chest rotate left as I grab the board and look over my shoulder.
Flying.
Liberating.
Pure adrenaline.
The ground approaches after a perfect five-forty. I straighten my hips and land evenly, easily on both feet. Absorbing the impact, my knees bend, and years of experience has me putting myself slightly on edge to keep control and ride the switch.
Euphoria.
There is nothing like a great landing, and fire strikes through my veins with a burning and a realization that I’m ready. I’m ready to land differently in my life.I’m ready to get a life, a new life, a life that puts me first. I’m ready to embrace the change.
It’s time.
CLAY
10 MONTHS LATER
“Ican’t get over how incredible your house has turned out,” Ash says as he drops his overnight bag on the floor next to the kitchen island, hangs his garment bag on the back of a chair, and moves to the middle of the living room, which is more like a great room. “You’ve done so well,” he mumbles, looking around with wide eyes while nodding his head in approval.
“Th-Thanks, I appreciate that,” I tell him, glancing at a few of the more difficult parts of the project and feeling a sense of pride. It’s been challenging, but renovating and redesigning this place was way more fun than I thought it would be.
“It looks completely different than it did just last month. I feel like I’m standing in a different home.” Ash turns a full three-sixty as he takes in the living room, the kitchen, and the dining room.
I guess it is pretty different. I gutted this house, tore down walls, reconfigured the layout, and added some square footage. The rest of the furniture has arrived too, giving it more of a completed look.
“I love the large island, perfect for eating breakfast or whatever, and that screened-in covered patio section”—he points over his shoulder to the door just off the kitchen—“it’s a brilliant idea for outside eating. I wish I had that.”
One of the things I love about Ash’s house is the porch. What I don’t love are the bugs in the summer. This way, I’ll be able to enjoy sitting outside without getting chewed up.
“Right. I didn’t want the whole porch enclosed, just part of it so I can eat in peace. You could do it too, that section where you keep the grill—you could totally convert the space.”
He tilts his head as he thinks about it. “I think you’re right. That would make a great outside dining area. I’ll mention it to Avery.”
Last winter, at the top of the mountain, I made a vow to start putting myself first. Since then, I’ve thought long and hard about what I want for my future and where I want to be. Whereas Ash will tell you he hit rock bottom last year, I think my revelation was more like a wake-up call. I’m still a work in progress on making plans and putting myself first, but the most prominent questions I asked myself were, “Where do I want to live? Where do I want to spend my time? And how much time do I plan on spending at the lake?” The answer was simple: I still plan on keeping my condo in Nashville, but I want to live at the lake. Therefore, I plan on spending a lot of time here in Horizons Valley, North Carolina. The town is small, but the lake is home.
When Ash bought his house, I thought it was going to be the ultimate bachelor pad for the two of us. Since we were thirteen, we’ve essentially been inseparable. Did I expect us to stay single forever? No, but I thought we’d at least have more time together, time in a place that means so much to both of us. It was only a few months after the purchase when he met Avery, and it was obvious to anyone who was around them that they quickly became the forever kind of love. Overnight, our bachelor pad turned into a single-family home, and it left me feeling a bit excluded and kind of homeless.
Don’t get me wrong, I was and am one hundred percent happy for him, but it’s like the trickle-down effect. His life changed, and unbeknownst to him, so did mine.
“I do love the view you have of our house,” he says as he walks to the large two-story windows that run along the back wall and look across the lake. He’s wearing a pair of dark gray dress slacks and a black button-down. He’s ready for tonight, not that I can blame him; I’d be ready too. I pull on the cuffs of my white button-down and move to the mirror in the hallway to make sure my tie is on straight.
I do have the perfect view of their home. It’s not intentional, it’s just that both homes sit on the end of the lake closest to Horizons Valley. While Ash’s house sits right next to the lake, which he favors as he likes to spend his mornings kayaking, mine is up higher. There are a lot of stairs one has to take to get down to the water, but I prefer it this way. I like being higher; it’s more panoramic, and frankly, I like my view better.
Speaking of view, I also have a clear view of Emma’s house. Well, Emma’s parents’ place that is. Several times over the last couple of months, I’ve seen the lights turn on, including last night, and I’ve had to mentally restrain myself from reaching out to see if she’s here. After all, it doesn’t matter, and we really aren’t friends. I’m not even sure we really ever were.
“Yep,” I tell him, moving to stand at his side. It’s late October, and the changing of the color of the leaves is peaking this weekend. The lake is surrounded by oranges, yellows, and reds, the perfect backdrop for tonight and tomorrow. “I thought about installing two really large flood lights so at night it looks like my house is staring at you,” I tease, and he chuckles.
“I think that’s funny, but Avery might have a different opinion. She loves to sit outside at night to rock and look up at the stars. She says she missed them when she was living in New York City.”
New York City, a place I haven’t been back to in almost a year, a place where I thought my life was going to flip a page and start a new chapter, only it didn’t. Well, I guess I did start a new chapter, just one that led me here and not to her.
