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Lily
I learnedthis summer that vacation can make you feel like an entirely new and improved person when it’s going perfectly and like a dried caterpillar husk when it’s not. I unpack my clothes for what feels like the hundredth time this summer.
My fingers mechanically pull out my journal, the one containing the list of rules for my and Nico’s arrangement. I don’t even want to look inside of it; better yet, I’ll burn the whole thing when I get home.
I miss my bed, my clothes, and my collection of shoes. I missallmy things. I miss the piss smell of New York City streets. I miss Molly’s extravagant dinner events. Most of all, I miss not being in this strange state ofit’s complicated.
My phone blinks.
Nico
u up?
Lily
Classy, immediately hitting me with the universal code for a booty call
The awkwardness I expected after our conversation yesterday is nowhere to be found. This morning, we woke up in the same bed together, and Nico acted like nothing happened. We left for our flight as if the entire thing had been some bad dream.
Maybe it was.
Maybe I wish I could take the conversation back.
No. I need to be realistic.
I set my phone down, not expecting a response.
Nico
just checking in on u…i know this isn’t the fun visit u expected
u feeling alright
Not at all. I miss you. I miss being in the same bed. I miss things not being so messy.
Lily
Exhausted
The fifteen-hour journey from London to the Azores entirely soured my spirit. Our quick layover turned into a six-hour delay during which we were trapped on the tarmac with no air-conditioning. I’ll have five days to tell Avery everything that’s happened before we fly to Cyprus the day after my birthday.
The clock in my room reads two in the morning.
If it weren’t for the buzz of happiness still swirling in me after seeing my best friend, I’m confident I’d be chewing the wood off my headboard like a termite.
Nico
same, don’t think i’ll sleep without u tonight
Lily
Already longing for me?
Nico
i long for you always, Lily
I yearn to fall asleep in the safety and warmth of his arms like I’ve done for the past week, but Avery and Luca are a couple of feet away in the next room.
