Page 153 of On Cloud Nine


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“Matthew.” Her voice cracks open like a rusty music box. “I’m so sorry that Laura said those things to you. You didn’t deserve that at all, and thank you. Thank you for sharing this part of yourself with me, but I need you to believe what I have to say.” She pauses, and I’m dizzy awaiting her next words. “I—I don’t think I even want kids.”

I pull back, studying her face. She’s made comments in the past about not wanting to be a mother, but many young people do. “Molly, you’re twen—”

“No,” she says flatly. “Don’t do that.”

The edges of my lips curl down. “What?”

“You don’t get to treat me like a child. You’ve taught me to stick up for myself. That my voice and my wants are important.” She shakes out of my grip, pulling her feet up beneath her. “I love you, Matthew Hudson. I know how I want my future to play out.”

I’m awestruck. My heart races as I watch the very determined stare in Molly’s eyes. “You’re right, I don’t get to do that.”

“No, you don’t.” She knots her brows together, narrowing her eyes at me. “I’m angry.”

“You have every right to be.”

“Not at you.” She softens. “No one’s ever asked me if I want kids. My mother would bring up the importance of expanding the Greene name. You, rightfully, thought that I couldn’t make that decision for myself. That may have been true a few months ago, but, Matthew, you’re the only person who’s seen me for me, let me feel safe and…” Molly pauses. “I’m just learning how to take care of myself.” Her amber eyes well with tears again, and I want to pull her close to me so badly.

“I know.” I drop my forehead to her knee.

“I’m not ashamed about it—maybe I’m still a little embarrassed, but I’m a work in progress. I can’t possibly even begin to consider a child before I’ve given myself my own life back. I’m angry because I’ve spent a lot of time worrying about what everyone else wants and never listened to myself.”

The truth slaps me right in the face.

Molly has her own reasons, her own desires, and I was too afraid to consider that she may not see children as a part of her future. “I understand. Please know you’re allowed to change your mind about wanting a family at any time. We can check in with each other constantly and make sure that the plans we have for our future are always aligned. We can see a couples therapist about it as well.”

“I’d like that a lot.”

“If you want to try fostering or adoption, I’m more than open. They are arduous processes. I watched my brother and Theo go through it twice, and both times they were in a cycle of high hopes and devastation before finally matching with their babies. I—I would never wish that on you.”

“Thank you for giving us the choice. Thank you for wanting to go through that with me if the time ever comes.” She runs her palms over my face. “I love you, Matthew, all of you. Every single hair, every perfect blemish, your brain, your patience, and your undeniable loyalty. You’re my family, my team. Whatever our future holds, I trust that we can figure it out together. You, me, and Bear.”

My heart bursts open. The ache in my throat deepens. I heave a heavy sigh, not sure if I’m about to cry or break in half.

You’re my family.

“I love you too.”

“I want you, kids or no kids. I would be proud to live my life with you, and I’d feel fulfilled every single day just knowing that I have you by my side.” Molly’s lips draw to mine, pressing softly into the flesh. “Just us.”

“Just us, darling.” I kiss her, tasting my future on her lips.

* * *

My eyes feelheavy with sleep as the early dawn pokes through the window. I search around my bed, but Molly’s nowhere to be found. We fell asleep holding each other, I was sure of it.

Did she leave after last night’s conversation?I rise up onto my forearms, and then I see her.

Molly’s wearing the thick-knit sweater my mom made for her, her silky pajamas hidden beneath it.

“Good morning,” I say, my voice feeling hoarse. The house creaks with silence. I glance at the clock. Five in the morning. “You’re up early.”

Nerves awaken in my chest. I hope that everything we talked about last night still stands.

“Good morning.” Molly smiles at me from the bookcase by the window. Her red curls sprawl across her shoulders. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

“Are you feeling alright…after yesterday?”

She nods. “I am. Nothing’s changed.”

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