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The second they said hello in return, Nitro squawked and flew onto my head, spouting off obscenities that would have made my grandma roll up a newspaper and start giving out swats. Strangely, it made the whole thing less weird. It was hard to worry about overreacting about seeing a former child star with a bird on my head.
“You still want him?” I asked once Nitro settled down enough for them to hear me.
“Of course, we want him!” The woman’s eyebrows were already surgically elevated, so her excited face was only a hair off from her regular face.
“Good to hear. My neighbors don’t love him, and I’d really like to not get kicked out of my apartment for noise.”
Speaking of, there was an impatient knock at my front door. That was fast. Usually, the old lady who lived across from us only knocked if Nitro interrupted her tea time. The only things keeping her from reporting Nitro was the fact that Jenny was practically best friends with the landlord. For a fellow introvert, my roommate sure had good connections.
The knock came again, and I told the celeb couple I’d be right back before hitting mute.
I took Nitro off my head and put him down. “Stay,” I told him, letting him patrol the couch on his own before going to the door and cracking it open.
Worse than the neighbor lady, it was Denver. He could wait. I shut the door in his face.
Chapter 10 – Denver
I shifted Makayla’s red KitchenAid mixer to my left arm and cursed the day I’d ever laid eyes on Sadie Tyler. After more knocking I knew would prove futile, I pulled out my phone and sent out a one-handed text. Thank goodness I was a professional-level texter.
Denver: Just need to drop something off.
Her reply was quite prompt for someone ignoring me.
Sadie: I don’t want or need muffins. Go away.
Good grief. She thought I was bringing muffins? First of all, that was never happening again, and how nice of her to rub salt in that wound. Secondly, how hard was it to open a door for three seconds?
Denver: Willfully misunderstanding me again, I see.
Nothing like adopting the persona of her favorite fictional character to really toast her bread. At least, I assumed Fitzwilliam Darcy was her favorite. A broody, misunderstood, rich guy who became putty in the hands of a woman. It had to be the personification of Sadie’s every fantasy. Not that I cared what Sadie’s fantasies were. She definitely was not mine.
I adjusted the mixer in my arms again to keep it from digging into my side and almost lost the metal bowl attachment. A lesser man would have left the thing on Makayla’s doorstep with a passive aggressive note and a one-in-three chance it would be stolen before she returned home from whatever she was doing tonight with her ex. No, I’d make sure she got her mixer back safe and sound, just like Julian had predicted.
Sadie: I’m busy. Come back in an hour. Or never.
Denver: Or I could continue to send texts and knock. See if you recognize this tune.
I stuck my phone in my shorts pocket and pounded out my frustration on her door to the rhythm of “Quit Playing Games with My Heart” until a frazzled Sadie opened up and dragged me in.
“I bet you a million bucks you don’t know what song that was.” Backstreet Boys for the win.
“I’m not playing guessing games with you. Be quiet and stand right there,” she said in a fierce whisper. “Don’t say a word or I will sic Nitro on you. Don’t look at the screen. Also, don’t make any sudden movements to distract him. He’s busy.”
She jogged back to her tablet on the coffee table, putting on a polite face she never reserved for me. Nitro was walking back and forth in front of the screen, occasionally stopping to peck at it, though I couldn’t tell what was on it from where I was standing, and I didn’t dare lean over to see. I wasn’t sure if siccing Nitro on me was a real threat or not, but I didn’t want to find out.
“Hey, I’m back. Sorry, just a determined delivery boy. What were you saying about exercise?”
Whoever was on the screen gave her a lengthy description of parrot exercises she could do with Nitro to keep his mind and body engaged, whatever that meant. Wow, Sadie’s social life was even sadder than mine tonight. She was getting tips on how to do “The Hokey-Pokey” with a bird. If she was embarrassed to have me listening in, she hid it well.
Nevertheless, I wasn’t surprised when Sadie’s voice started getting a ‘let’s wrap this up’ tone the second she got a word in edgewise. Sadie didn’t do small talk. She thanked whoever it was, signed off, and then looked up at me.
“What was so important, Denver?”
“I just need you to give Makayla her mixer back for me. She left it at my house.”
“Oh.” She looked flustered for a moment, realizing she could have let me go earlier with a lot less fuss, but quickly rallied. “You look normal.”
“Excuse me?”
