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“Take care, Essa.”
That was the nicest thing she’d ever said to me. Maybe she did have feelings. Some day if I ever had enough money, I’d pay her for the six months I lived in her tiny apartment after my mother died from Hodgkin’s.
Most of my young life I’d spent taking care of Mom while she was sick. The healthy ones were the best years of my life. Mom would garden, and we would take day trips to see things like The Biggest Ball of String in the World. They were also some of the scariest, always waiting for her blood counts to go awry. Life was never fully happy; the fear that something was going to go wrong was always in the back of my mind.
We never had much money, since she received disability and government assistance. What we lacked in funds, she made up for in fun. And love. Rolling over on my stomach in bed, I let the tears well up and fall over my cheeks. Some days, the longing for her was too much to bear, and I’d stay under the covers, never leaving the comforting cocoon of blankets. Mixed in with all those droplets were tears for a man I never knew. A man who had loved me enough to leave me his house and all his possessions.
Grief threatened to take me under, but I found strength in being in this new place. It didn’t hold all the old memories from our tiny apartment. Here, I could make new memories.
Pulling on my running shoes, I headed outside into the warm summer air, sneaking in a jog before it became too hot. The morning sun healed my broken heart enough so I could distract myself with other thoughts. Like what I was going to do about the upcoming bills. Or about the eventual leaking roof. And the overgrown shrubs.
Back at home, I showered and made some eggs before sorting through the kitchen’s overstuffed cabinets. Perhaps I could donate some and sell whatever was feasible online for a profit. Halfway through the upper row, Piper texted and asked if she could come over, and we planned the day’s activities, a buzz running through me at my excitement of having a friend over to my new place.
After another hour, Piper presented herself at my front door, holding two bottles of wine and a batch of chocolate cupcakes topped with blue frosting and white sprinkles. Instantly, my mood was brighter from the morning’s doldrums.
“Your house is so cute! Rundown as shit, but never look a gift horse in the mouth, right?” When she texted earlier, I filled her in on my living situation and my recent inheritance. “You need more plants.” Inviting herself in, she peeked around every wall and corner, making comments about each room. “They had so much stuff, and it’s everywhere!”
“I know. That’s why I need you to help me go through it. My plan is to go room by room and organize it all.”
“Should be fun! Glad I brought the wine.” She smacked the bottles into both of my hands.
Eying the black glass of each, I rolled one over and read the curly red label while she skipped to the kitchen to find a corkscrew and some glasses.
“Piper, I’m only eighteen. I’ve never had alcohol before.” Part of me wondered if it would help me not care if I said something stupid, or wrong.
Her pink hair waved as she whipped her head to me, a look of shock on her face. “Never?” I shook my head, dreading her response to my inexperience. “Well, then, we are gonna have a blast tonight!” A smile crept over my lips. Of course, Piper wouldn’t judge me. She was the kind of person I wanted to be, someone free and open. Someone willing to do what they wanted without any fear.
After three glasses, I was rolling on the green carpet in the den, laughing at her stories. She had apparently been on several terrible first dates after meeting people off internet dating sites and had enough tales to fill a book.
“He showed me a video and asked if I’d ever seen that porn before, and I told him I hadn’t, and he said, ‘that’s my ex-girlfriend. She’s nineteen.’ He was forty-three.”
“Ugh!” I gave her the reaction she seemed to want, but my mind thought of Eli. Would Piper object to our thirteen-year age difference the same way? I guess it didn’t even matter. Eli told me I was too young for him. In order to keep talking with him, I told him I didn’t have a crush on him anymore. It was all untrue; my feelings never changed. There was no one else for me and I knew it.
The only picture I had ever seen of him was his mugshot online. Eli was strikingly handsome, actor worthy, despite the gauntness of his face in the photo. His features were dark, of Greek descent, he once told me, with coffee-brown hair and chocolate-colored eyes. Despite the ruggedness of his jawline, his expression held kindness and innocence. I wanted to see if it still lived on his face after all those years behind bars.
“So, anyone who’s caught your eye here so far?” Piper interrupted my daydream.
Clearing my throat, I answered. “No, not yet.”
“Well, you’re thinking about college, right? There are lots of cute guys there.”
We had given up sorting through the living room after our second glass. Piper’s phone was playing music through a Bluetooth speaker she found in a drawer of an antique dresser in the guest room. The last hour was spent lounging on the dirty floor. If this was what it was like to have a friend, I knew I’d been missing out.
“You said your mom passed away recently. What was she like?” she asked quietly as her dark blue eyes widened. When she flipped over on her stomach to face me, lying on my back, the lamplight caught a spattering of freckles across her nose and cheeks.
“My mom died about six months ago.” My throat tightened at the memories flooding my mind, but I choked out some words. I wanted to talk about her, and the wine made it easier. “She was my best friend. We did everything together. We read the same books and watched the same TV shows, mainlyBuffy the Vampire Slayer,on repeat. We could tell each other everything. I miss her; she was my world.”
Some tears formed in the corners of my eyes, and Piper’s finger stroked my forearm gently. “Oh, hey. I didn’t mean to be such a downer. I hate my mom, so it’s nice to hear there are good ones out there.” Tucking her rosy bottom lip under her teeth, she let it fly free, then asked, “What did she die from?”
“Lymphoma. She’d struggled for all my life battling cancer. Well, when I was little, it was a virus, then it was unknown what was going on for a long time. She’d get better, then worse. Her last few years, she spent in the hospital on and off. She only kept going for me, I know it. The hospital bills… It’s been tough.”
Piper’s eyes gleamed in the light from the TV as she blinked at me for a few moments. Her presence was so comforting. It was the first night I hadn’t felt alone in so long.
“Can I kiss you?”
Taken aback, my mouth opened into a big “O”. Alcohol did nothing to help me hide my shocked expression, but my cheeks warmed at the thought.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! I’m bisexual. Just felt like making you feel better, and you’re cute.” She giggled. “And I thought I felt something.”
