AllFreeNovel
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Security took Deacon away and asked me a bunch of questions I don’t remember answering. I’d have to file charges against him. I didn’t want to. I wanted to go to sleep for a thousand years and wake up on a sunny day where this night would be just a dim memory. But I might not have been the first woman Deacon cornered. I might not be the last. For that reason only, I went to the station and filed the charges. Noah came with me, saying nothing.
After, we took a cab back to the townhouse. It was nearly four in the morning by the time I unlocked the door, but before I could close it, I saw another cab pull up, and Valentina, all long legs and elegance, stepped out. She told the cabbie to wait and took the front steps quickly, Noah’s cane and sunglasses in hand.
“I’m sorry to follow. I thought he might need these.”
I glanced uncertainly at Noah. He had already started up the stairs.
“It’s okay,” Valentina said. “I don’t wish to bother. Tell him…” She shook her head. “I don’t know what to tell him.”
“Neither do I,” I said.
“I kissed him,” Valentina said, not meeting my eye. “Deacon told me Noah wanted to see me. To reconcile. So I agreed to go to the deck.”
I crossed my arms. Her words hurt, like little knives in my heart.
“He didn’t kiss me back,” Valentina said quickly. A small, sad smile danced over her lips. “Noah didn’t love me. He never did. But I always carried the hope, you know? And that’s hard to let go of.” She raised her gaze, looking at me now intently. “I shouldn’t have believed Deacon, but Iwantedto. Do you see?”
“I see.” And I did, but that didn’t make it easier.
Valentina nodded, a faint, sad smile on her beautiful features. “Okay. Good night, Charlotte.”
I watched her return to the taxi and drive off, and then I shut the front door and locked it tight.
Noah was upstairs, on the third floor. I found him in his walk-in closet, throwing a change of clothes into an open rolling suitcase.
“That was Valentina. She brought your cane and glasses,” I said slowly, not quite comprehending what I was seeing.
“Did she tell you what happened?” Noah asked, tossing a jacket in the general vicinity of the bag.
“She said she kissed you.”
“Yeah, she did. I pushed her away, but so what? I know how pathetic that sounds.” He stopped, turned to me. “You didn’t see it?”
“No. Deacon crafted a pretty good set-up, but his timing was off. I only saw you…together.” I hugged myself as the room suddenly seemed chilled. “Noah, what are you doing?”
He knelt by the bag and felt for the zipper. “What I should have done when I first knew how much I cared about you. The firstsecondI felt something. That’s when I should have left.”
“You’re…leaving?”
His hands dropped to his knees, and he craned his head up at me, his face a mask of anguish, his eyes shining. But he didn’t speak…or couldn’t. He stood up, taking the bag with him, and threw it on the bed.
“Talk to me,” I breathed. “Why aren’t you talking to me?”
“Because I’m so disgusted with myself that I can’t…” He carved his hands through his hair. “When I think about what happened to you…what almost happened to you with Deacon. If he’d touched you…God, Charlotte, if he’d really hurt you? It makes me sick to think about it. And I did that. I let that happen.”
“Deacondid that. You can’t blame yourself—”
“No?” He barked a harsh laugh. “You told me not to leave you alone with him. You made me promise, and what did I do? I got fucking drunk and left you alone with him. So that he could shove you into an elevator and try to…” His words tapered away, and he shook his head, a stricken grimace on his face. “I can’t breathe just thinking about what might have happened. And why? Because I was too fucking wrapped up in my own bullshit. I just had to prove that I could work atPXand pretend like everything was just the way it was when it wasn’t. My old life is gone, and until I learn to live with that, this shit will keep happening to you. More pain and more pain. I’m just piling it on you.”
I shivered with dread at where his words were taking us. “No, that’s not true…”
“Isn’t it? The subway ride…” He squeezed his eyes shut. “I can still hear how you cried that night, the pain in your voice and your fear for me because I’d been so selfishly reckless. I did that. I put that there, Charlotte. And the mugging—your violin is gone because of me, and then tonight. Oh Christ, tonight.”
“Noah…”
“I didn’t need this clusterfuck of a night to tell me that I couldn’t go back toPX. You knew that. You told me and I didn’t listen. But deep down, I knew it too. It’s all still here, waiting for me. The anger and frustration and rage.” He zipped the bag with an angry swipe. “I have to go. I have to leave and find a way to let go of my old life, and I have to do it on my own. I can’t lean on you or weigh you down or cause you one more ounce of pain. I can’t.”
He turned to me and took hold of my shoulders, looking at me intently in his own way. “The only thing that matters right now is that you go to that audition for the touring orchestra. You win that spot, Charlotte. Reach out for it and grab it. Seize it because it’s yours, and you know it.”
