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As we went on, I tried to stay upbeat and enjoy this moment with my friend. Deep down, though, it was hard to ignore the miserable feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Because I couldn’t forget what we were doing. Why we were here. What Matt hoped to accomplish with my help.
I really, really hoped the photos, the new clothes, and the rejuvenated profiles helped Matt find someone. I hoped he texted me to say,“Don’t worry about Saturday night!”and I wouldn’t have to follow through with taking him to a club.
Because while I was committed to doing and being whatever he needed…
I wasn’t so sure I could handle that after all.
Chapter 10
Matt
Spoiler: I did not have any luck on the apps that week.
As Saturday night rapidly approached—we were down to hours now—I kept trying, just on that off chance I stumbled across the right guy to save me from a night of clubbing. My lack of successwasn’tfor lack of effort.
It also wasn’t for lack of… well, “help” might’ve been a generous way to describe it.
“Does he bring his own paper bag?” Andras pointed his tail at a Grindr profile. “Or d’you have to give him one?”
“A paper bag?” Raziel scoffed. “My dear, now who isn’t reading the briefings? It’s called a condom, and it’s not made of paper, it’s made of—”
“Not for his willy,” Andras retorted. “For his feckin’ face.”
That got a startled gasp out of Raziel. “Well… That’s just not very nice, is it?”
At that, Andras had flown off my shoulder so he was in Raziel’s view, and gestured wildly at himself as if to say“Have you forgotten who you’re talking to?”Then the demon returned to my shoulder and flopped down unceremoniously.
“Ow!” I shrugged a little dislodge him. “You have got the boniest ass, I swear.”
Andras whapped me with his tail, so I brushed him completely off my shoulder, earning me a satisfied yelp and some swearing. He landed on the other couch cushion, so he wasn’t any worse for the wear, but he sure was mad.
“What the fuck?” He flew back up, snapped his wings next to my ear, and sat down dramatically again as he muttered, “Wanker.”
“I’ll do it again,” I warned.
He huffed. “Just swipe left and keep looking.”
I rolled my eyes. I did end up swiping left on that guy, but not because of his looks. Physically, there was nothing unattractive about him. I was trying not to be too shallow anyway—even with guys I might only hook up with—but really, I had no idea what Andras’s issue with him was. I just wasn’t into the guy because he sounded like a pretentious dick.
The next profile was more to Andras’s liking, but of course, Raziel disagreed.
“Look at the background of his photos!” The angel clicked his tongue. “Look at… Do you want someone who takes selfies in front of piles of laundry? And… my God, young man. Wash the dishes once in a—”
“He ain’t looking for someone to do his washing,” Andras said. “Long as he’s got clean sheets, who cares?”
I rubbed my forehead. Would“I have a headache”be a valid excuse to bail on tonight? Because it wouldn’t be a lie.
“Quit perving on his housekeeping,” Andras groused, “and look at those abs! That arse! And a mouth like that is probably great for—”
“Andras.”Raziel was just outside my peripheral vision, but I swore heat rose beside that shoulder. Was he blushing that hot? “There is more to a man than just—” He sputtered a bit. “Yes, he’s pretty, but the background is unattractive.”
He did have a point. While I tried not to judge guys based on the backgrounds of impromptu selfies, those backgrounds could tell a story. Or raise red flags. Like the one a few profiles ago who’d carelessly—or deliberately, I couldn’t decide—taken a photo in front of several items that screamed white supremacist. I had, of course, swiped left on him, but not before sending his profile to a sorcerer friend I’d known since law school. They wouldn’t hurt the guy or anything. They wouldn’t do anything illegal. They were, however, an expert troll who would happily catfish the guy until the end of time, wasting his time and keeping him occupied. He wouldn’t be anyone’s problem as long as their endless repertoire of profiles kept leading him on.
Ethical? Eh, I didn’t lose any sleep over it. Fuck Nazis. Or, well, don’t fuck them. Catfish them instead.
I continued perusing profiles until a shirtless pic didn’t just catch my eye, it made my brain skid to a halt. The broad shoulders, the narrow waist, that ass—oh. Hell.
