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I should have fought for her, for us.
In reality, it’s too late now, but no one has told my heart that yet.
It still wants to fight.
I just need to work out how!
The way I’m shoveling my food into my mouth to give me time to calm down before I talk again, I’m giving myself indigestion.
Even Xavier notices how fast I’m eating.
“Hungry today? Catching up on all that energy used last night, I’m guessing,” he says just before he takes another big bite of his burger.
“Yeah, something like that. So, Nat’s out there looking for a husband, is she?” Not sure I want to hear the answer to the question, I bite on my tongue until he finishes his mouthful and starts speaking.
“Not a chance. I’ll be old and gray before she finds a husband, we don’t have to worry about that. There is something going on with her, that’s for sure. Yesterday at the gym she was all tied up in knots and snappy as hell with me. Wouldn’t tell me why, but then when I pushed her, I could tell she was ready to kill me. Who knows? She was out with Zara last night, so hopefully she got it out of her system. This morning she was really quiet at work.”
Trying not to sound too interested, I take another drink of my beer, surveying the people around me to make sure there’s no one who seems to be paying attention to us, and for once, it looks like the lunch crowd couldn’t care less who I am.
I decide to ask the important question again, since he missed answering it before. “Well, I hope she feels better by tomorrow night. She is still coming, isn’t she?”
“Yeah, I reminded her yesterday and she was up for it. It’s a shame Sasha isn’t with you. She could have met both Alesha and Nat finally. It’s crazy that after all this time Nat still hasn’t met her.”
I can’t believe Xavier is so blind to see what has been going on in front of his eyes. Surely, he can’t be that stupid. Although it’s not like I want him to ask too many questions about me and Nat. Nat has managed to deliberately avoid me ever since I left for New York, only being in the same place half a dozen times since. But her managing to maneuver herself so she has never had to meet my wife is a skill all on its own.
“I mean, I know Sasha’s busy with her career and all, but I thought you would have found time to come home together again. It’s been a while. Don’t you miss her like crazy when she’s away working?”
“Of course I do.” I take the last sip of my beer, knowing I need another one but can’t afford myself the luxury.
“I tell you, if I had a wife who looked like that, I wouldn’t be happy we were apart so often. I already find that, just being apart from Alesha for short amounts of time, I can’t wait to get my hands on her again.” Xavier’s eyes start to glaze over again, and I can tell he is envisaging doing just that, and I know I need to change the conversation.
“I’m off to my parents’ for dinner tonight. Wish me luck. I’m sure it will be scintillating conversation just like last time.” I stretch my arms up above my head and lock them together. My body is still a bit stiff after yesterday.
“You know they love you, man.”
“Oh, I don’t doubt that. I’m sure they wish they could fit me into their mold of the perfect son, like Lance.”
“You can’t still think that. Surely after all this time they’ve accepted that their son is one of the best quarterbacks in the NFL. That has to be way better than anything stuffy old Lance has ever done.” Xavier looks at me like I’m an alien.
“Well, we will see tonight, won’t we. You sure you don’t want to join us? You know how my mom loves to have you over for dinner… not!”
We both chuckle loudly. Growing up, my mom thought Xavier was the bad influence on me, encouraging me to play football and hook up with all the girls. Little does she know I was just as bad for him. Of course, that was until senior year when I pulled my reins back and focused on football. Best decision I made, and it let me show the world my potential, which led me to bigger and better things.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I invited Kane and Lilly tomorrow night. I would have warned you about Lilly, Alesha’s sister, but I don’t think I need to. Pretty sure she and Kane are playing the cat-and-mouse game, and I’m just waiting for one of them to finally give in. Just wait, it’s hilarious to watch.”
“Can’t imagine Kane being one to sit back and wait when he sees someone he wants. The first time I met him he seemed to be a pretty strong personality.”
“Oh, he is, but you haven’t met Lilly. It’s like the hottest game of tug-of-war you will ever see. Meanwhile, I’m sitting back wanting to take bets on how long it will take for one of them to crumble. But they think we don’t know what’s going on, so I promised Alesha I wouldn’t say anything.”
I laugh at Xavier. “That must be killing you. Nothing has changed, you are still the biggest gossip I know. You should have been born a woman.”
“I can’t help it if back in high school you gave me so much fodder. It wasn’t like I had to look very far for something to talk about. You swapped girls every week, and then the crazy things we got up to were definitely gossip-worthy.” Xavier looks proud of himself that he was part of most of the stupid things we did.
My mind starts casting back all those years ago.
So much has changed since then. Lives are being lived; dreams are being achieved.
I’m a married man and supposedly living the life I planned.
