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“If you say so.” I’m hoping like hell she makes it to my room and then the bathroom, because I’m not good at cleaning up vomit. Especially in my truck. It’s been on this life journey with me for a while, and I’d like to keep it smelling like sweaty football gear for a bit longer yet.
Making it up the last flight of stairs, with a few stops along the way, Nat is now in the bathroom in my room, and it doesn’t sound too pretty in there. I didn’t even get time to offer to hold her hair or anything. As soon as we made it in here, she took a few hurried steps, closed and locked the door, and I’ve been sitting here ever since.
The ghastly noises have stopped, but I can hear her sniffing every so often. That kills me because I think she’s crying.
I could unlock the door and go in there, but she’s already angry with me, and I’m not sure that’s the right move for now.
“Nat, are you okay? Can I come in and help you?” I ask, lightly tapping on the door.
“I’m alive, I’ll be out in a minute.” Her muffled voice through the door doesn’t sound happy, but as she said, she’s alive, so I guess that counts for something.
“If you unlock the door, I’ll push your bag in there for you. You know, so you can get changed or, um, get any, you know, um, things you might need.”
There’s no answer, but the click of the lock gives me the go-ahead to send in the supplies.
While she’s in there, I strip down to my boxers and slide under the blanket on the mattress on the floor. With just the lamp on my desk turned on above me, the room isn’t very bright. Just enough for her to get to my bed and get comfy for the night.
The door finally opens slowly and the vision of her standing above me, the glow of the bathroom light behind her, has me raising my knees in the air under the blanket. I don’t want to make myself look any more of an asshole by tenting my blankets here for a drunken friend, who has just spent thirty minutes in my bathroom vomiting. It’s hard, though—literally—not to find the woman before me sexy as fuck in her little sleep shorts and top that match perfectly. They’re all cute and girly, with unicorns on the pale green shorts and one big one on her matching shirt. I have to restrain myself from staring, especially at her top, that I’m sure she isn’t wearing a bra under. I don’t know if I should look away or not. I don’t want her to think I’m ignoring her or angry at her at all.
“Um, sorry about that. I don’t usually get to that state.” Her head bows down trying to avoid me, but with me on the floor, she can’t escape looking at me with her sad brown eyes. They aren’t the eyes of a drunk young woman. They look like they’re just sad, and in a way, lost. A lot like I feel.
“You don’t need to apologize to me or explain anything. I think tonight didn’t really turn out like either of us planned.” I raise my hands up and rest my head on them.
“You sleep in your bed, I’ll take the floor, I’m sure it’s…”
Cutting her off, I say, “Not happening, Nat, so don’t even waste your breath. Just get into bed and get some rest. You’re going to need your strength for the killer headache that’s coming tomorrow. There’s Advil and a bottle of water on the table next to the bed for you. I would suggest you take them. Speaking from plenty of experience here.”
Standing there, looking down at me, I know she wants to argue but doesn’t really have the strength. Finally, after a few moments of a battle of the wills with a stare-off, she shuffles past me, crawls up on my bed, takes the tablets, and then lies down.
“Xavier messaged earlier. He isn’t staying here tonight. He’ll be back in the morning,” I inform her as I turn off the light.
We’re plunged into the darkness with just a little light coming in through the curtains that aren’t quite closed properly. I might have one of the better rooms in the dorm, but things are still pretty basic. The curtains are thin and a pale cream, so a sheet would probably block out more light.
“Ugh, boys.” Nat groans as she’s wriggling around trying to get comfortable in my bed. While I’m lying here just glad it’s dark in the room so she can’t see what her groaning in my bed is doing to me.
Silence matching the darkness in the room makes it hard to sleep.
I can hear every little sound.
Her breathing, and the way she’s flexing her feet back and forth, and how that drags her cute, pink-painted toenails along the sheet.
Finally, she settles, and movements stop for a few minutes.
I can’t help myself, I just blurt it out. “I wasn’t with the girls tonight, Nat, I didn’t do anything at all. Except get angry, jealous, and ruin any chance I had of spending time with you.”
My heart is beating hard and fast, and I can hear it in my ears.
The silence remains and no reply.
I wait, but I’m sure she’s asleep, as her breathing is evening out.
“I get it, you just want friendship,” I continue, my voice a whisper to myself, “but I want so much more. Wish I had fallen for you earlier, maybe you would have given me a chance to love you, so then it wouldn’t be so easy to push me away.” I’m met by the silence of my little home. The place I hide all my secrets from the world.
Exhaustion creeps into my bones as the adrenaline of tonight is starting to leave me. I wish I could stay angry, then this wouldn’t all feel so hard.
Rolling on to my side, I face away from Nat so I can try to forget that the woman of my dreams is asleep right next to me, curled up almost naked in my bed.
Tomorrow will be torture trying to sleep in a bed that will now smell just like her.
