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How can this beautiful, kind, caring woman be so damn stubborn?
As I walk down the sidewalk, the chill is now seeping into my body. Fantastic, I’ve left my coat upstairs. But I can’t go back. There is no way she will open the door anyway. Not after I backed her into a corner. What was I thinking admitting that I would end my marriage for her? Way to make yourself look like the biggest dick.
The more I walk, my arm starts to settle and the rage I was feeling at both Nat and myself is subsiding. Pounding the pavement is just as effective as running out my frustrations on a treadmill. But the cold is not getting any better. Maybe I should have been smarter and got in a cab, but I’m almost there now. I can see my hotel ahead of me.
My phone vibrating in my back pocket has me pulling it out so quickly I almost drop it onto the pavement. I’m hoping to see Nat’s face lighting up but that’s just a stupid joke. I’ve ruined that possibility.
I should have let it go to voicemail while I was still a little worked up, but I know he’ll just keep calling.
“Xavier.” I know I sound like shit but that’s all he’s getting this morning.
“Hello to you too, grumpy. Sleep well?” I know he is digging but he’ll get nothing from me. And what he’s digging for, he has no idea what the answer might be.
“The couch is not all that comfy, asshole. Especially when your legs are hanging over the edge.” I didn’t lie to him, but I wasn’t exactly explaining myself truthfully either.
“How’s Nat this morning? She still sleeping? Because I just tried to call her, and she didn’t pick up.”
I’m not surprised but I can’t say that. She’s probably still trying to pull herself together, I know how that feels. “She’s just nursing a hangover but she’s okay. I’ve left but I think she was going to have a shower. So that could be why. Don’t worry, big brother, she can look after herself.” More than you know, my friend.
Your sister is one tough, stubborn pain in my ass.
“Thanks, buddy, for getting her home and looking after her. I don’t know what got into her last night.”
I slow my stride to talk without all the noise around me. “She do that often, Xav?” I want to know more.
“Nah, man, the only other time I’ve seen her like that was the night you got engaged. She was totally wasted and spent the rest of the night hugging the bowl. It was not a pretty sight. Please tell me she wasn’t that bad last night. She will kill me if you saw her like that.”
My brain kicks into overdrive at his admission that she wrote herself off the night I announced I was off the market.
“Jordan, you still there?” Xavier’s voice echoes in my ear.
“Sorry, buddy, reception dropped out. Just getting back to the hotel, so I’ll catch up with you later. Could do with a shower and a bit of sleep before I head out.” My thoughts are already spinning at what I need to do.
“Sure thing. Thanks again, and I’ll call you later. Great to see you. Not sure why, but I miss your ugly mug.” The emotion in his voice makes me stop and take notice.
“You okay, Xavier?” Shit, I’ve been so caught up in my own drama that I’ve missed something.
“Yeah, yeah. Just things are changing fast. It’s been a hell of a ride these days, kinda shakes up your priorities a little.”
“The change of having Alesha in your life, it’s fantastic, man, and you are going to live a long happy one with her. So, stop stressing about anything. You’ve got this, and I’ll always be here to kick your ass when needed. Now go give that beautiful woman a kiss and tell her how crazy I still think she is for agreeing to marry you.”
“I can always count on you to give me the serious pep talk and a dose of reality. Love you, buddy.”
“Love you too, man. Later.” I hit the end button on my phone, shaking my head at all the raw emotion today. It’s been too much, that’s for sure. If I wasn’t mid-season, I’d consider having a few drinks myself to get through the day.
Walking through the foyer, I’m already imagining stripping off my clothes and hitting the hot shower, but my name being shouted across the room lets me know duty calls. Two young boys around the age of twelve are making their way to me, paper and pen in hand and phone at the ready.
“Hey, boys, how’s your day going?” I hold my hand out for the paper, and I put the public persona in place and start chatting to them. No matter how bad a day I’m having, I never ignore the fans. They are what pay my wages and keep the thrill of playing alive for me.
I used to be these little boys, looking up to the players and dreaming that one day I might be standing in their shoes.
Now that I’m there, a big part is missing from that dream picture. Or should I say someone.
Time to do something about that.
* * *
Sasha’s looking at me like she’s trying to work me out. “You’re really flying home just for the day to attend a lunch with Xavier and Alesha and family and then coming straight back? You were there only a week ago. It’s your only day off this week and you’re jumping on a plane.”
