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"Why didn't you take him in when his mum died then?"
"My motives were wrong. I didn't want to parent him. I wanted to own him."
"So, you evaluated between pampering him here, and making him a torturer, and you went with torture?" The look on my face must be of complete disbelief because he follows my question with a quick response.
"He doesn’t do anything."
"He tells people things. Things Gavriil says he will do to them. And then he listens to their confessions."
"True. But remember that I wasn't the man you see now. I was younger, and much angrier. There is no way on this earth you can tell me owning a child was the right thing to do."
"What about now then?"
"I don't know how I feel now." Knox leans back on the bed, running his hands through his hair. "I have you, and I love you. My feelings for you are nothing like my feelings ever were for him. I want to fuck you all the time. I want to hold you so tight and give you everything in the world."
"Do you want to hurt Nico?"
"Good lord, no. Never."
"Do you want to be cruel to him?"
"No. I want to pamper him. I would love him, in a way." Knox lifts his head to look at me. "That is why he can't stay."
"Or exactly why he should." I roll over onto him, peppering kisses across his neck.
"You are very naughty." Knox grabs my wrists, pulling my hands above his head. "Shame the doctor is here in an hour."
"We have time for me to earn forgiveness."
"You? I'm the one who just confessed to some sort of feelings for someone else, even if I don't understand them."
"I'm just thankful it's the same guy that I have feelings for. I just want to adopt him and show him life isn't a complete shit show."
Chapter fifteen
Knox
Iwillnevergetover how amazing Porter is. I tell him I have feelings for someone else and he is happy about it. I wanted to adopt the donkey from the beach, and it grew from there. I needed to do some good to make me feel better about myself. It worked for a while, and when it didn't I adopted another donkey. I am shallow enough that running drugs and killing anyone who gets in my way can be countered by placing a donkey in a field, but I don’t know anyone who can look a donkey in the eyes and feel anything but love. I don’t feel the need to balance the bad with another animal now, because looking in Porter's eyes washes all my sins away, especially the eyes he's giving me now.
"OK, but no one is getting naked."
As soon as I grant him permission, he's undoing my flies. I love quickies, and I love Porter, but knowing Nico could wake any moment adds a level of naughtiness I don't usually feel in my own home.
Porter has filled the void I was trying to fill with livestock, but saving Nico fills the lingering guilt from losing my sister. Without a role or purpose, having Nico here does ease that guilt.
"I'm glad you said to bring him here. I wanted to, but I couldn't."
I need to get my words out before Porter's tongue running down my cock renders me incapable.
"You're supposed to be saying 'god, Porter, no one licks my cock like you do. You are a sex God, and all your suggestions are the best'." Porter sucks my cock into his mouth like he has something to prove, but it doesn't feel like he's proving his worth, he wants to prove he's right.
"Yes, treasure. You are the best. You don't need to adopt donkeys and strays to convince me. Your bratty arse is all I need." It's all I need to complete my life moving forward. I need a lover. I need a lover this good at sucking cock. But I miss my sister and I need to fill that gap with Nico. He’s more like a brother. A much younger, brattier brother that I can’t stand but love without condition anyway.
"You're still thinking about Nico," Porter moans.
"This is the first time in my life I've let myself think about Nico. You can take the blame for that."
"I always wanted to fall in love one day." Porter's confession comes with his lips abandoning my cock. "I didn’t know what or how, but you took care of that. And I'm happy. I just didn't think finding love would come with losing my sister. I guess that's why I want to help Nico. But you know what I want more than anything? Your cock inside me."
