AllFreeNovel
Share Us
What was more rewarding than watching him squirm was the smile plastered on his face. With all that I have and all that I am, I never considered myself lucky until now.
The love of my life is sitting to my left, relishing in the pain I administered. To my right is the boy I should have taken as my son had I been a better man all those years ago. I'm looking forward to an early night with Porter, but first I need to get Nico settled. Tonight is the first time he's going to sleep in the guest room.
"Let's get you to bed, Nico." He's barely eaten, but the poor kid has been drinking highly nutritious jelly all day. He looks healthier than he's ever looked in his life even if his muscles are still weak. He'll need help getting up to bed.
"I am sleep here?" Nico replies drowsily.
I'm not sure if he means the house or the chair, so I'll be diplomatic with my answer. "We have the guest bedroom made up ready for you. I'll help you get settled."
"And I'll sit on the bed and watch," Porter adds keenly.
"Yes you will." I have a feeling the mere idea of being alone with me would terrify Nico. A room full of hardened criminals is this boy's stage, and his role is well rehearsed. Living with a billionaire murderer is completely out of his comfort zone.
"Can you walk up?" Porter questions him.
Nico gives a weak nod. He managed to walk into the dining room for dinner, while Porter clung to his hand is a way that was more of a hindrance than of any support. But stairs are going to be a different challenge.
"You can try yourself, but we will be here to help you." My order is final. We rise from the table, both Nico and Porter reach for their plates until they both realise with some uncertainty, that the clearing up is not their duty. For Porter, it's a slip up, he'd been getting the hang of how my house works, for Nico this is new.
"We leave?" he whispers, seeking verbal permission to release his fingers from the plate.
"You leave it all to me, pet," Gladys calls to him. "I get paid to do this, and you wouldn't want to put me out of a job, would you?"
Gladys is only informing the boy because he is slightly less terrified of anyone who isn't me, but I wouldn’t have picked her choice of words. Nico drops the plate back onto the mat at quite a rate.
"You will get used to it," Porter comforts.
Nico will get used to it. But it is being held here against his own will, even if it is for his own good. He will get used to being redundant from household chores and all other responsibilities, just like Porter. I have a habit of taking what I want from people, for deciding that I know best for them. I took Nico, just like I took Porter. Just like I took Caeo, Gladys, and Freddie. They were all struggling with personal issues, and I made a decision to take their troubles away. I paid off their debts and gave them jobs. Whether they wanted it or not.
Except I didn't take Nico. Porter did. I wanted Nico, but I resisted for so long, because it's only when I look at Nico that I can see how wrong I am.
This boy is forcing me to do a lot of soul searching since he arrived. Both boys head to the stairs together, and I follow behind, trying to make sense of it all.
By the time the three of us have made it to the top, I've had time to figure everything out. I'm a criminal by birth, taught to be tough since I could walk. I never chose to be bad, and a part of me still needs to prove that I am good. I don’t have much to offer people, I don't have time, patience, or compassion, but I do have money. I was raised believing if I threw money at people it would save them, but it never worked with Nico. No matter how much money I threw at him, it didn't make any difference to his life. He didn't need money or a job, he needed time and commitment, and underneath it all, I couldn't be bothered with that.
Now I have Porter and I want to give him all my time.
I could have found time for Nico. Or just brought him here and hired a nanny.
"I need to stop trying to help people. I should stick to donkeys." I throw myself back on Nico's bed in the dramatic way Porter likes to. I only register the sound of laughter when it stops. Nico and Porter had been giggling the whole time. Climbing the stairs like mountaineers, they'd been playing a game, and I didn't even realise.
"Is he saying I donkey or not for helping?" Nico whispers.
"I'm saying there was always something missing from my life, and it was you two."
"So, this is good?" Nico speaks to me; his eyes lift high enough to reach mine.
"This is very good," I agree.
Porter shows Nico around the bedroom while I watch. Nico lets his mask slip a little more. He is a curious thing, showing an interest in things even Porter takes for granted. He spends far too long opening and closing the cupboard doors, studying the hinges. When he sees Porter's onesies on hangers, it needs further investigation. I have to ask myself if he's ever seen a coat hanger before, resisting a real urge to text Caeo about whether Gavriil had any in his home. One thing I am certain of is the fact Gavriil is never getting this kid back. Nico's days of working are definitely over.
Porter opens the door to the ensuite and everything changes. Nico backs away and I suddenly see the kind offer of my guest room as something resembling a hotel room. Giving him the big posh room doesn't feel so kind anymore.
"OK, change of plan," I decide. "I have another option and it's up to you which one you sleep in."
I head out and just expect the two boys to follow me. From the second most luxurious room in my house, I lead them to the smallest. It isn't small by many people's standards, comfortably bigger than Porter's childhood room, and I have absolutely no use for it. For starters, it's too close to my room for anyone to sleep in with the kind of sex life I enjoy. It's too far from the family bathroom for a nighttime dash. What it does have in it is Porter's old furniture. My sappy sentimental heart couldn't bin it when we cleared out his mum's house.
"I'm sure it wouldn't take five minutes to put the bed frame back together."
