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I almost wish he’d come down hard on one side or the other so I could dig my heels in on the opposite side.
Except I need to be completely adult about this.
18
Alfred
It’s been morethan twenty-four hours since Alex dropped her bombshell on me.
I’ve done a lot of thinking and soul-searching in that time. My feelings for Alex. How I feel about sharing my daughter with her. How will I feel if Alex decides not to go through with the pregnancy? Or if she does, and things don’t work out? My thoughts drift to my cousin, Charlotte, and her recent miscarriage.
Once I’ve thought it all through from every angle, I know two things. I’m deeply in love with Alex, and no matter what she decides, I want to spend my life and have a family with her. In the end, when and how those things happen doesn’t matter, just as long as they do. I can be patient, if absolutely necessary. Although I can’t vouch for my daughter.
As soon as I’ve tucked Pippa into bed and read two chapters ofWish for a Pony, I retire to my own room with a glass of single malt and my mobile.
Alex answers on the second ring. “Freddy.”
“Hello, love. How are you feeling?”
“Tired.” Her voice has a quality to it that I think means there’s more to it than that.
“Nauseated?”
“Not so far, thank goodness.”
Not the pregnancy, then. “But something is bothering you.”
Silence.
“Alex? Talk to me. Please.”
She lets out a long, sigh. “I think I’m just overwhelmed.”
“That’s fair. Is there anything I can do?”
“Actually, you’re doing it. Thank you for calling. Just hearing your voice makes me feel much calmer. How’s Pippa?”
“She wheedled two chapters out of me before bed.”
“Oh please. Wheedled? That child has you wrapped around her fingers, which is exactly how it should be. How was your day?”
Now it’s my turn with the big sigh. “I lost six sheep to a dog today.”
“Oh god, no. That’s awful. Do you know who’s dog?”
“No. I only caught a glimpse of it, but it looked to be something like one of those crossbred designer doodle things. Nobody around here has one of those that I know of. I’ve put the word out, but that’s about as much as I can expect. Enough about my shit day. I know you’ve got a lot on your mind, but I want to see you. Soon.”
“Freddy, I—”
“I want to see you,” I repeat.
Her groan of defeat has me smiling. “I’ll call Craig in the morning and see what he can arrange.”
“You just tell me where and when, and I’ll make it happen. I should let you get some sleep.”
“I am tired. Thank you for calling.”
“Sweet dreams, baby.”
