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Dropping my arms to my sides, I straighten and she lets me go.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur.
“For what?”
I skim my thumb across her cheek. “For telling you the other night that your father had a choice and didn’t choose you. For hurting your feelings. That is why you’re sad, is it not?”
She gives a curt nod, her expression closed and distant. “Partly.”
I sweep a strand of hair behind her ear. “Penny for your thoughts, principessa. Is it the SAT scores?”
“No, not that. I haven’t heard back yet. It’s just… What you said did hurt, but it was also true.” Her chocolate brown eyes lift to mine. “I also realized that I have very little self-worth. I’ve spent my whole life knowing, and accepting, that my life is not my own. My value is in what I can give to others. Without that, I’m nothing.” Her eyes shimmer with unshed tears, and my cold, frozen heart cracks open. Too bad there’s nothing inside except an endless void.
I hold her face between my hands. “That’s not true. You’re worth far more than that.”
“No, I’m not.” She shakes her head. “The only reason you want me is because you need a wife. But we both know that you could easily replace me with any other woman. It’s all the same to you.”
Guilt collides with my outrage on her behalf. Because in theory, she’s right. Whoever was engaged to Kozlov would now be mine, no matter who she was or what she looked like. No matter her personality or family name. I didn’t care. At the time, my sole agenda was to steal away his fiancée.
That’s no longer true.
Now, I care.
And I don’t want just any woman, I wanther. However, admitting that leads to dangerous territory.
“That’s not true,” I say again, with more conviction this time. “You’re irreplaceable, Sophia. I’m sorry I’ve made you feel otherwise.” I’m also angry at her family for raising her to see herself as worthless on her own. “I promise you that you’re going to do great things with your life. You’ll find your sense of self. College is only the beginning.”
Her lips quirk up in a sad smile. “Aren’t you afraid I’ll spend your money on college, then leave you?”
“No.”Terrified. “As you’ll soon learn, for a De Luca, divorce is not an option.”
“How romantic. Of course, it’s not. So that means that you’re confident enough to have a wife who rules her own life, who won’t be at your beck and call all the time as I go off to college and do great things?” Her gaze searches mine for the truth.
“I am. I don’t want to hold you down, principessa. I want to bind you to me in every way possible. I want to own you, possess you. I want your every lustful thought to be of me. But I don’t want to hold you back.” My lips brush against hers. “No one could ever take your place.”
“Is that why you panicked when you thought I was trying to kill myself?”
I release her as if I’ve been burned, and step away. “Let’s not talk about that.”
I never want to think of it again.
“Is that what happened to your late wife?” she whispers, not knowing when to let it go.
“I said leave it,” I snarl, leaning against the far wall.
She folds her arms. “You want to possess my every thought, but you won’t tell me anything about yourself. How is that fair?”
“The past is the past. Leave it buried where it belongs.”
“Is it though? Because you seem to have some kind of grudge against Nik that has me wondering—”
I charge at her. “What did I tell you about saying his name?”
“You and all your rules.” Her cheeks are flushed and anger flashes in her beautiful brown eyes. “You know what I think? I think you put all these rules in place to protect yourself. Because you don’t want to face any of your issues. You’re a sad, angry, lonely man who keeps the world at a distance to protect yourself. What you don’t realize is that’s not the solution, you’re only making it worse. You’re wasting your life and one day you’ll come to regret it.”
“You don’t know a damn thing about me or my life!” I crowd her, pinning her against the bathroom cabinet. “I know you have some fantasy running through your head about being able to fix me. Give it up. It’ll never happen. I’m not worth the fucking effort.”
Sophia stands her ground, unafraid of me and my rising temper. She caresses my face. “That’s where you’re wrong. You’re worth every effort, because when I look into your eyes, I see a broken man desperately crying out for help.”
