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“It’s part of the big plan, or it was. He did talk about a career in the theatre, leaving behind the silver screen for a while and I think that’d do him good. Refocus.”
“I suppose so. But for now, I imagine his main thoughts will be to lie low and not get swamped by the press.”
“Dorian’s not exactly the shy and retiring type. I think now he’s out, he’s not likely to be anything but out and proud.”
Ashley groaned. “He’s going to get eaten alive. Is New York a good idea? He could end up on a bender and every gold digger on the East Coast will be after a piece.”
“Robin—”
“Robin nearly fucked up his own relationship thanks to an Italian model who thought him fair game, he can’t be babysitting Dorian who’ll be free and single.”
“Ashley, you’re being too harsh. Robin’s bound to be seen as a target to many as a potential partner—it was a deliberate attempt to make it look like he was up to something he wasn’t.”
“This time. Simon’s still a bit insecure about it all—and I don’t blame him. His boyfriend’s living halfway around the world, and as a rich, attractive man with an amazing future both as a businessman and the next Viscount Whetford, half the city wants a piece of him.”
“Robin isn’t interested in anyone else. He’s been beside himself with worry over the whole thing.”
Ashley huffed. “I still don’t think it’s fair to put this additional strain on them as a couple by having Dorian there as well.”
Davy somehow managed to do a whole body yawn and Ben popped him into his bouncer. “You’re so cute.”
“Grumpy, cute. And clingy.”
Ben leant over and stroked Davy’s cheek. “I can’t blame your tastes. I get clingy over your other daddy too.”
Ashley chewed the inside of his cheek. “Look, about Dorian. If he does end up staying with Robin, why don’t you fly over to New York, and settle him a bit? I’m only talking a couple of days—to make sure there’s nothing to worry about.”
He had a routine with Davy and could survive Ben being away for a few days if that meant a cataclysmic clusterfuck might occur if he wasn’t. Simon had become a close friend, someone who could understand what it was like being a partner to a man like Ben.
“Are you really that worried?”
Ashley nodded. “Not just for Simon, I know Robin loves him, but Dorian, with all his past history with Robin, could end up raking up a lot of old hurt on both sides.”
Ben seemed torn. “But you and Davy need me.”
“We can cope for a couple of days. I’ve a whole army of members of the Davy fan club to help me here—we’ll miss you but if you can help prevent things from going south I can deal with it.”
“But we’ve barely had any time for ourselves since the little fella arrived. I was hoping to try and get at least a night alone with you.” Ben laced their fingers together. “If we both weren’t so tired I’d have worried there was something wrong.”
Ashley brushed his lips to Ben’s, and as if by magic Davy jolted awake with a squawk. “It’s as if he knows. But it’ll get better.”
“I hope so, last time I went this long without sex was before I went to Cambridge.”
Ashley could understand Ben’s frustration, he had his own, but with his fatigue and short temper it sounded like it was just Ben who was suffering. He lifted Davy and stood with him cradled close, jigging from one foot to the other. “You’re not the only one,” he snapped.
Davy wailed. Ashley screwed up his eyes murmuring to Davy to hush. He felt Ben’s hands on his shoulder. “I’m sorry. Here let me take him. Why don’t you go have a lie-down.”
He should argue, but a nap sounded like a wonderful idea. “Thanks. But only an hour, and I’ll be right as rain.”
Handing Davy over made him feel like a failure. He couldn’t look after his own son, he was missing proper intimacy between him and Ben, and he was terrible company. No one had warned him it would be this difficult, he’d expected it to be hard work, but he’d never felt so clueless in his life.
* * *
One change of nappy and several verses ofFly Me to the Moonlater and Davy had dropped back to sleep. Ben placed him in his bouncer with the same care he imagined was used when defusing landmines. He worried about Ashley, he was one of life’s perfectionists and he could see he was having trouble adjusting to fatherhood. Not that he wasn’t a wonderful father, but that he was being far too hard on himself.
His phone buzzed, it was always on silent these days, and he saw it was from the new number Dorian was using. He’d half expected Dorian not to call and he’d be the one chasing him.
“Dorian, how’s life out of the closet treating you?”
