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Isleep fitfully, missing Doug the whole time. In some ways, a great weight has been lifted, the axe that has hung over my head ever since Trent cornered me and told me what he saw.
I know that I shall get through this; that, as Edwin says, Doug is tough. Only there is still a great deal of pain to endure between now and then. And there is my concern as to whether or not Doug will forgive me. Perhaps he does not want a mate who brings such trouble to his door. Perhaps when he finds out I have kept this secret from him and did not trust him, my mate, he will see me in a less favorable light.
I do not pray to the Goddess often, but today I do, beseeching her to give me a chance to prove to Doug that I’m worthy, and a chance to redeem myself.
We have only just begun. I haven’t even told him that I love him, and now all of that might have been broken by my actions.
I rise and dress as always, finding a strange sobriety as I step outside. Orcs are already up and about moving bricks, but there is no talking and none of the good-humored complaints that usually accompany this duty.
A few eyes turn my way, reminding me that orcs and humans alike love to gossip. I have drawn attention in ways I have always sought to avoid. They will all be talking about me, the bondservant, and Doug, who awaits his fate after killing on my behalf.
I collect Melody’s breakfast tray, the other servants greeting me and checking on how I am.
“You have a nasty bruise on your cheek,” the head cook says, clicking her tongue. “Did you sleep at all?”
“Only a little.” I summon a cautious smile, seeing Pippa approach. My memories of last night are hazy, and I wonder if she hates me now that Trent is dead, or whether like me, she is relieved.
“I wish someone had been there for me,” she says quietly. “I thought myself in love with Trent, but what I was really in love with was a hope and dream and he turned out to be a monster.” Tears pool in her eyes. “I know he would not have stopped. I’m only sorry that it was you he preyed on next.”
I hug her, and she hugs me back.
As we break apart, I scrub away the fresh tears that spill down my cheeks.
I collect Melody’s tray and take it up to her room. Here, I find her dancing around using her stockings like streamers, and it puts a smile on my face. I share a look with Bard, who offers me a small smile.
“Melody, put your stocking and boots on, or Jasmine will be forced to take your breakfast tray back,” Bard chides. “I can see your favorite pancakes and berries… although I am sure the pigs will enjoy them if you do not want them.”
“PANCAKES!”
I have never seen her put her stockings on so quickly, although I need to help her with her laces when she is too excited to sit still, and I fear she is about to trip.
As she tucks into her breakfast, Bard joins me at the window, where I gaze down in the hope of seeing Doug helping the other orcs with the bricks. He hates that work, but it would still make my heart soar to see such normality.
“Edwin has been called away to speak with Tulwin. There are rumors of a fresh push from the Imperium as they take back lands they lost to the Blighten a decade ago.”
“Is that where he will be going?”
Bard shrugs. “Possibly. There is also trouble brewing to the east, and I have heard talk that Tulwin will be going there. The Blighten are being hit from many directions in this world. Melody’s portal lessons have been placed on hold.”
A strange hope flutters in my belly. Are we about to be liberated?
But then I question if I want to be saved when I’m mated to an orc. For if I were to be saved, then Doug would be the prisoner, rounded up with all the other orcs… He might even die in the battle.
“We are a long way from the front lines,” Bard says as though he can read all that I feel from the expression on my face.
The lines have gotten blurred. Not all orcs are bad, just as not all humans are good. And all of us are caught up in something not of our choosing.
I am about to ask more when a great clamor comes from below. We look down to see orc soldiers dressed in royal livery surge into the courtyard.
“What is happening?”
‘I don’t know,” he says slowly, brows drawing together as we watch the unfamiliar soldiers swarm the area.
A sense of unease creeps under my skin, growing stronger as I watch the strange, urgent scene play out.
Something is wrong. Very wrong. At first, I feel the pricklings of worry for Melody, and then realization dawns.
“I must go down there!”
