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“Well, let’s see,” he said, tapping his chin as we walked. “Ivy and Shep, Mel and Mason, Addie and Ellis, Heather and Gabe, who I’d like to add were both a bit reluctant after their past history.”
“Understandable,” I agreed, “but look at them now. Married and happy.”
“They were inevitable. There was too much history between them and too much love for them to be apart much longer. Now, Becca and Cameron, on the other hand, the gazebo had to work for that one.”
I chuckled and shook my head as we reached the parking lot. With all the cars in and out of the lot, the snow was packed down and easier to walk in. Soon we were on the sidewalk headed toward his house. “Becca doesn’t strike me as someone who believes in legends.”
“She refused to believe it, but look at her now,” he said, shoulder bumping me as we laughed.
“That’s fair, but I’m sure it’s just coincidence. If we’re kissing under the gazebo, chances are other couples are too.”
“Could be,” he agreed. “All I’m saying is, when it comes to Christmas in Bells Pass, there’s always one couple that stands out as special.”
“And you think that couple is us this year?”
He shrugged, but he wore a smirk on his lips. “I did just kiss the hell out of you under the gazebo’s roof with the tree lit. I figured it was worth a shot in case the legend might work in my favor.”
I grasped his arm and leaned into him. “I don’t know that you need a legend, Lance. I already like you. You don’t have to try so hard.”
He rested his cheek on the top of my head for a moment. “I just don’t want to lose you again, Gumdrop. It’s been so many years since we could laugh together and have fun like we used to when we were kids. I don’t want that to end. I missed you so much and I know I should have reached out more, but after my accident, it was hard.”
“I know, Lance,” I promised, squeezing his arm. “I wasn’t in a good place in high school either. It was rough at home and I took it out on the people at school.”
“I started to think about when your personality changed and it was when you turned twelve. That was when you started acting out in school and carrying more anger than light. I was too young to realize it at the time, but I want you to know that I wish like hell that hadn’t been the case.” He put his arm around my shoulder. “Come on. It’s time to get home and out of the snow.”
He tried to turn me, but I stayed planted on the sidewalk, glad it was between the streetlights and dark enough to hide my tears. “I was jealous,” I whispered, still staring at the ground.
“Of what, Gumdrop?”
“You and the other kids who had moms and dads who loved them. I mean, Michelle was just the best mom ever and I wanted that, but instead, I got the opposite. I didn’t even understand half of what Bruce and Brenda told me that day. I didn’t know what it meant to be a swinger or to be sterile. The school counselor explained it to me and then I was even more horrified. I wanted to curl up in a little ball and hide, but I didn’t, because no one else knew the truth. I was angry. You were right about that. I was angry, jealous, and sad. Your mom figured out something had changed. Remember, she was our room mom in the fifth grade?”
“Yeah, I remember. She always took you out in the hallway to work on the homework you were behind on.”
“That wasn’t what we were doing,” I admitted, finally glancing up at him. “We were talking about the things that went on at home and how to deal with them. She tried to get social services to pull me from the home, but Brenda and Bruce turned on the charm whenever the social workers came around. They always convinced them that I was just acting out and not to believe anything I said. By all rights, they had the perfect home and perfect marriage on the outside. No way was social services going to take me out of the house without proof I was being abused.”
“But you were being abused. Mentally and emotionally.”
“Do you know how hard it is to prove that kind of abuse? It’s impossible, Lance. Your mom knew it and so did the school counselor. Then your accident happened, and Michelle disappeared too. You never came back to school, and I got angrier and angrier. If it hadn’t been for The Hideaway hiring me when I was fourteen and taking time to teach me the trade, I don’t know where I’d be right now. They gave me a space where I could be with people who cared about me, and they treated me like I was part of the family. I got a call from Steve the other day, did I tell you that?”
“The owner of The Hideaway?”
I nodded. “He calls me at least once a month to check on me. He feels terrible that he didn’t have a job position open for me last year when I needed it. He’d heard through the grapevine about my living situation and wanted me to know he had an opening now if I wanted to come back. I assured him I was happy at the bakery but thanked him for checking in on me. Steve and Sarah are more like parents to me than my own.”
“You spent a lot of time there. It’s natural to feel that way, Indie.”
I shrugged and kicked at the snow until it puffed up into the air and blew away. “Anyway, that’s the whole sad, pathetic story. It’s taken me a long time to let go of the anger, but not having to see them has helped.”
He wrapped his arms around me and held me to him, resting his cheek on my hat that had to be covered in snow. “I’m glad things are little bit easier for you now, but I still wish like hell my accident hadn’t happened and I could have stayed in school. I feel bad about taking my mom away from you when you needed her most.”
“There was nothing you could do about it, Lance. It wasn’t like you wanted to get hit by a snowmobile while sledding.”
His hand went to his head automatically and he rubbed the back of it. “No, I guess not.” I shivered in the cold night air and he put his arm around my shoulders. “Let’s get you home and warmed up.”
I didn’t want to tell him the shiver wasn’t from the cold, but from the memories of that time in my life when I felt out of control all the time. It was scary and confusing to a kid at that age. I didn’t tell him walking down the sidewalk with his arm around me and his heat soaking into my body was a little piece of heaven.
“I feel bad even talking about this.”
“Why?” he asked, holding me closer as we strolled through the falling snow.
