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“For what?” she asked, kissing my cheek.
“For teaching me what it means to make love to someone.”
She kissed my temple, letting her lips linger there for a moment before she spoke. “I don’t understand.”
“I’m trying to,” I admitted, snuggling her into my side and pulling the blankets over us. She stroked my cheek, both of us still naked but uncaring. “You made me feel normal, spontaneous, connected,” I said, rubbing her shoulder. “You didn’t make it about what I couldn’t do or what had to be done before we could do the next step.”
“You are normal and can be spontaneous, Irving.”
“Maybe with the right person,” I whispered, kissing her forehead. “I’ve never experienced sex like that before.”
“I’d be lying if I said I had,” she whispered.
“Normally, orgasm is as much mental as it is physical.” I found having nothing between us made it easier to be vulnerable with her in the dark. “I have to picture myself climbing the stairs into the sky and jumping onto the cloud. Tonight, I couldn’t control it and didn’t need the stairs or the process I usually use to come, Hazel.”
“Why do you think that is?”
“I know why it is,” I said, my laughter soft as I kissed her forehead again. “It was easy to trust that you weren’t going to hurt me or be weirded out by my body. Seeing you as into it as I was, shifted something deep inside me.”
“I’m never going to hurt you, Irving. Your body doesn’t weird me out. This body houses your soul and that’s what I was making love to. That’s what was connecting, not our bodies. Don’t get me wrong, that was the best orgasm I’ve ever had, but I can pinpoint the reason for that as the connection we made beyond our bodies.”
My hand strayed to her chest, resting between her breasts as I kissed her forehead. “Undeniably so,” I whispered as we dropped off to sleep.
Chapter Fifteen
Thanksgiving had arrived right along with a snowstorm the weatherman said could drop over a foot on us by morning. I glanced out the window and noticed it was nearly dark and the snow had started, which meant our window was closing when it came to getting everyone home safely from the big Thanksgiving dinner at the Bells Pass Community Center. I promised Irving we wouldn’t stay long, but we both agreed we needed to make an appearance at the event.
“Thanks for all your help today, Hazel,” Ivy said, finishing her cleanup work. “We couldn’t have done it without you.”
“I didn’t do much,” I insisted, helping her carry the empty pie tins to a bin for her to take back to the bakery. “I enjoyed seeing everyone again. We’ve been so busy at New Beginnings that we haven’t had time to get out into the community the way we’d like.”
“Not what I heard,” Audrey said from the butcher block table where she sat sipping a cup of coffee. I didn’t know how she did it, but she’d worked harder and longer than any of us and still looked put together and relaxed. Then I remembered she used to be a teacher, and it all made sense.
“Me either,” Ivy said, a smirk on her face as we walked back to grab some coffee.
My gaze drifted to the giant window that opened to the great room where Irving sat playing cornhole with Holly, Noel, Noella, and another girl Holly’s age that I didn’t recognize. They were helping the little ones get the beanbags into the holes while Irving cheered them on. Addie’s little girl, Noella, kept toddling over to Irving to touch his wheelchair. According to her mother, Noella had an unsatiable curiosity, and today, her hands opened and closed as she talked to Irving. I couldn’t hear what he said, but the next thing I saw tipped my lips upward. Irving picked her up and sat her on his lap to pet Star. The giant dog sat patiently while Noella stroked his head. The entire time she continued her conversation with the man I love.
Yes, I said the man I love. Making love to him sealed the deal for me. Irving Wallace was my soulmate. None of that mattered, though, if I couldn’t convince him to take a chance with his heart again. It wouldn’t be easy for him to consciously do what he was already subconsciously doing, and that was to love again. The intimacy we’d shared the past two nights wasn’t about the act as much as trust, understanding, and acceptance.
“Right, dear?” Audrey asked, and I snapped my attention back to the table. Mel and Addie had joined us, which meant I had missed a good portion of the conversation.
“Uh,” I said as Ivy started to laugh. “I would say right, but I feel like you just asked me if aliens had landed in Bells Pass.”
“You were a bit distracted from the conversation,” Mel agreed.
“Sorry.” I sheepishly rubbed my forehead, forcing my eyes off Irving. “I was watching Noella with Star. She’s such a sweetheart.”
“She loves dogs,” Addie said with a shake of her head. “Irving has been more than patient with her always wanting to pet Star.”
“Noella is too young to understand that she can’t,” I said with a shrug. “He understands that, but it’s also a good time to start teaching her that dogs wearing those vests are working and she has to ask to pet or approach. Irving is very patient when it comes to kids. He wants them to ask questions and be curious about his disability, so they can understand that he’s just like everyone else, even though he uses a chair to walk.”
“Inclusion,” Mel said, and I pointed at her, feeling like a bumbling idiot. “I’m glad he’s joined our community. He has a way with the little ones and big ones alike. Holly loves him to death. She says he’s wise beyond his years, just like she is.”
I tipped my head for a moment as I thought about it. “She’s not wrong. He’s seen a lot in his lifetime.”
“That’s what I heard,” Audrey said. “One of my friends was at the poetry slam on Tuesday night. She said his poem was dark.”
The grimace happened before I could stop it. “It was dark, but only because it was brutally honest. He could have prettied it up, but then it wouldn’t be authentic to how he feels inside.”
