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Blaze saw the threat before she did, and those instincts took over before she could react. At least, that’s how the other survivors told his story.
“Um…” she cleared her throat. “She’s still Kyler and Gemma’s godmother, soyeah, we see her. That came out of nowhere. Why are you asking?”
“I have…an idea on getting Eric out of the picture, but I don’t really want to talk about it.”
“Plausible deniability?”
“Something like that,” I admitted with a grimace, the wince mirrored back at me on her features. “Can you please send me her number? I want to run an idea by her.” The text popped up above our video chat a heartbeat after she grabbed her phone. “Thanks!”
“What’s Jameson think?” She asked before yawning. It might have been mid-afternoon for me, but it was getting late on her side of the country.
“I don’t really talk to him about all of it.”
“Why the hell not?” She scowled at me, the confusion wrinkling her brow.
“I'm just trying to focus on the good stuff, you know? I can’t change him, so I’m just putting my energy into what I have control of. Which is currently my work and rekindling the old Noel. A sexual awakening is just an unexpected benefit.”
“Look, babe.” Josie had always been the sweetest, most gentle-hearted of our friends from college. Where Brex got hyper-sensitive, and Vallie could be unintentionally condescending with an IQ that likely lapped mine in elementary school, Josie…got it. Gotlife. The tough shit. Being a widow in her twenties, with two kids depending on her to keep a roof over their heads and food in their bellies, only softened her heart more. It was only the fact that it washerspeaking that kept my defenses low. “I’m all for not giving him any more of yourenergyor power or what have you. And by all means, enjoy the ever-loving hell out of a sexy man who looks at you like a snack. However, you also need to offload some of that weight on your shoulders. And I’d bet he’d carry it with you. Good men need to be needed.”
“He’s been supportive. Hell, they all are.”
“Obviously.”
“I have things under control.” Okay, that was laughable. There was nothing about any of this that felt like it was under my control.
“Just…think about it. He’s gone out of his way to take you on, to protect you, to make sure you feel safe. Men don’t extend effort if they don’t care. Remember when I dated Garret?”
Ugh. Men suck. What kind of idiot took so much as one look at a woman like Josie and didn’t see how freaking undeniably brilliant she was? Garret made her work way too hard for way too little, in my not-so-humble opinion. After Blaze, none of us would tolerate that shit for a heartbeat.
“Douche canoe. Yeah. I remember.”
“You told me thatif he wanted to, he fucking would. Not to waste my time on a man who wouldn’t invest his time in me. I’m paying that forward right now.”
“Jos, it’s allfake.”
“Bull. Nothing about any of this sounds fake.”
My throat worked to swallow. Because she was right. Nothing about Jameson felt fake when we were together. Not the way he protected me, not the way he spoke or touched or made sure I was safe andsatisfied. Not the obnoxiously dangerous, glowy ache in my chest as I thought about him. Forcing a smile onto my face, I teased, “I mean, the orgasms certainly weren’t.”
“Yes, yes,I’m thrilled for you, despite the fact that I’m withering on the vine and out of batteries. Stop deflecting.Maybethe pretense of why he drug you into his house was fabricated to nullify an immediate threat to the peace. But you two had chemistry before Eric showed up.”
“If by ‘chemistry’ you mean ‘drove each other crazy’?”
Nonplussed, she rolled her round brown eyes, her deadpan telling me she didn’t find me particularly cute today. “The dance between desire and detestation is delicate. You two tangoed into lust, at the very least, a long time ago.”
“Can you blame me?”
“Absolutely not. The genes in that family are fucking ridiculous. But, Noel. Can you listen to me for a minute? Seriously. I know humor is your defense mechanism of choice, but just hear me out.” When I just swallowed, eyes locked on the tiny Josie balanced on a tampon box on my counter, she continued. “Jameson is investinghis timeinyou. Hell, he’s investing his friends’ and family’s time in you. He does it becausehe wants to.”
“Hero complex,” I mumbled softly, but my throat felt suddenly swollen.
“Maybe. But maybe you’ve forgotten what it feels like to have someone value you above their own interests. Maybe it’s time you remember what that looks like.”
* * *
Josie’s wordsplayed on an endless loop that could rival theIt’s a Small Worldsong, so I opted to walk to the main house for Rhodes family dinner rather than drive over. Giving myself a minute to clear my head. The guys lived in a small subdivision about two blocks away from their parents, the stretch of town connected by a curving black sand beach. It was that rocky coastline my soul craved. The beaches in Mistyvale didn’t deliver the same sense of serenity as those I’d grown up on, but something about salt and sea seemed to soothe my nerves, even if it was freezing and vaguely damp, even when the sun came out. The surrounding woods glowed gold and green as the evening sun glittered through the damp branches. Countless black stones crunched under my boots as the waves softly lapped against the island, but my eyes caught on the two lone figures about a hundred yards down the bay.
Awareness tingled in my limbs, and anticipation wound tight in my center before I realized why her words finally faded.Jameson. Some sense of him brought a smile to my face as I closed the distance, my heart flipping as I realized he was still on the island. He knelt beside a little boy wearing hunters’ orange rain gear, with dark black hair, their hands sifting through the rocky sand. A gray beanie hugged over that hair I’d luxuriated in all morning. A rain slicker tugged tight over his broad shoulders. When I was about thirty yards out, Jameson paused, catching me in his periphery and offering a crooked, sexy smile before refocusing on the little guy beside him. As I got closer, I realized I’d seen him once before, balancing on Axel’s lap at Brex and Rhyett’s reception dinner. The pieces clicked together as he smiled up at Jameson, a familiar dimple in his cheek just below those trademark Rhodes gray-blues.
