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“It’s not your cross to bear, Ronan. It’s hers. Plus she treats you like pure shit, she doesn’t deserve you. I honestly can’t believe that’s the same woman who is sweet and caring around my dad. You don’t deserve that and neither does he.”
I smile at his kind words. He is a good man, just like his dad. I don’t know what Christine did to get him, some dark magic maybe? But then I remember. My mother is a narcissist. She knows how to love-bomb you so hard you forget your own name. I’ve seen her do it before, and I share it all with Noah.
We spent the next hour talking about our teen years. Both of us being twenty five, we find our emo phases hilarious. But the thing is, neither of us actually grew out of it.
Noah insists on paying the bill, but I don’t let him. He just saved me from an extremely sad situation, so I can at least buy him dinner. He asks me where I’m staying here, so I spill the beans about the address, begging him not to let it slip in front of my mother. I tell him all about our new situation at the shelter and that we finally got approved, just yesterday, to take care of everything from dogs to goats and he smiles at my enthusiasm.
I get up from our table, wanting to say goodbye, but he decides to walk me to my new apartment, since that’s the only way for him to know I got there safely. My heart melts in my chest, but at the same time aches for not having him the way I want to.
The walk to my place is silent, but every once in a while, he turns his face to me and catches me staring.
“I like your side profile.” I say to justify my actions.
“I like much more than just your side profile.” he responds and I laugh, my face getting its new favorite rose color once again.
“I remember.” I whisper, low enough for him to not hear.
Once we approach my building, I gently pull at his arm to stop him.
“This is me.” I say, pointing to the yellow building, “Though I can’t let you in now.”
“Not that I need to get in so I can be in.” He winks at me, and I laugh again. He remembers what he said that night.
Of course he does, you do too, Ronan!
“You said you’ll stop!” I punch his bicep playfully. I haven’t laughed this much in a long time. Noah is magical.
“You didn’t call.” I whisper, taking a step towards him.
“I didn’t know if you would pick up.” he responds, lifting his palm up to my cheek.
“I would’ve. I was kinda waiting for my phone to ring, you know?” I place my open palm onto his chest. His heart is beating wildly.
“Now I do.” His smile drops, and in its place comes a smirk.
“Now you do.” I tilt my face upwards, smiling at him.
“You have stars in your eyes, Ronan, and for those missing, I would’ve done anything to take them down for you.” He turns my face to the side gently, laying my head on his chest as he kisses my hair.
His heart is beating even crazier, but so is mine. All I can breathe in is him. He still smells of citrus, and my mind travels back to our night again. I am dying with the need to hold him, to kiss his soft lips, to bathe in his gaze like two years ago, like a week ago…
“Sleep well, Ljubavi.” He opens the doors for me, and leaves.
I know deep inside my bones that no sleep will come to me tonight, as my mind will be haunted by his lips in my hair.
10
The Summoning - Sleep Token
Noah
I’ve been spending almost every day with Ronan since our accidental dinner two weeks ago. I finally have the green light to open up a shop and she helped a lot by setting up shelves, and then helped even more by opening up the boxes I brought up to my newly rented apartment near the store with Mats. Moving back here was crazy and not as fast as Tiana and I wanted it to be, but I would wait another year if it meant I got to live my dream. Matilda had no issue with uprooting her life once again to follow me. She is a free soul, never tied to a place, or to a lover. Having Ronan close is just another bonus, but blue-balling myself is definitely not.
We spend a lot of time together, but we are never alone. I made sure of that. There is either Jensen there, because his last year of school hasn’t started yet, or Matilda. It’s way easier to ignore the tension between us and the closeness of her body if someone is right there with us. I almost kissed her after we unpacked the last box of my stuff, but thankfully Matilda bursted through the doors with champagne and three glasses.
They are getting along well, which I like. What I don’t like is Matilda yapping about me being in a bad place for two years because of Ronan. She even told her that if I didn’t chase after her, she would’ve. Obviously, we need to have a chat aboutWHOSEbest friend Matilda is, since it seems like she forgot.
She grew up in an orphanage near my house, and we’ve been the only family she’s ever known. Ronan is a part of that family now, and Matilda is gulping it down like it gives her life. It makes me happy to see the two of them having fun with each other.
