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“It looks good on you, boss man.” Ice adds and I smile. Such a good pair of kids.
“Okay, okay. I am not an animal, and this ain’t a zoo. Go back to work. What can I do to help?” I say with some sort of authoritative tone.
The kids run back into the drum room, probably continuing the deep-cleaning session I smell in the air, but Jensen and Mats stay put. I look over to them, both of their faces serious, with determination carved into them.
“Are you okay?” she asks softly, hooking an arm through Jensen’s.
“I will be,” I clear my throat. “I miss her, but I guess she moved on. I waited for her five nights ago, and almost fell asleep in front of her door. I wrote her a letter. I wrote a few poems.”
“WHAT?!” they say in unison. “Where are the poems? Show us!”
“I put them in that letter. They are all for her. My words for her, so she would understand how much I cared.”
“She didn’t move on,” Jensen says, fidgeting with Matilda’s employer’s ID. “She went to see her dad. She left five days ago.”
“Oh.” My mind goes back, rewinding the tape. Realization crashes into me that she left the day I waited in front of her door. I was late. “Will she come back?”
“You didn’t tell him?” Mats asks at the same time I mumble asking if she is ever coming back.
“He didn’t ask. And I don’t know. I honestly don't think so. At least not any time soon. She is not doing so well.”
Sudden cloak of regret covers my heart. We were so good together, but now…now it’s all memories flying in the wind, and I wonder how much longer they will hold on before being taken away from my mind. I can’t let them know the pain I feel.
“I will work the register today, if you guys don’t mind.” I look at them, searching for approval on their faces for changing the subject and subtly asking to be left alone.
“It’s your store, man, you do whatever you wanna do.” Jensen smiles, tapping my shoulder. “We’ll be in the back, sorting through some band merch.”
He takes Mats by the hand, leading her away. He is so much bigger than her now, but I still remember the time he couldn’t reach the counter so she brought the cookies down to him.
The store hums with people coming and going, and for quite a while it actually takes my mind off of the broken heart in my chest and empty left side of my bed. By the papers I’m looking at, Mats has killed it this month. We are in a huge plus in revenue for the first time since we opened.
An elderly couple walks into the store hand in hand, and my heart constricts in my chest.
“Hello!” the man says, letting go of the woman, leaning his elbows on the counter. “We are looking for a keyboard. We… Well, we had this old piano, but we had to sell it a few weeks back. The money is tight nowadays.”
A chuckle that leaves his mouth is coated in pain.
“She loves playing. It’s the only thing that puts a smile on her face, but we don’t have much now.”
“Of course, sir. Do you want her to come and play here, or should I show you some of our affordable keyboards?”
“If you don’t mind, I would love to see some,” the lady says, her voice marked with age.
“Sure. Follow me.”
I slowly walk in front of them, leading them to the keyboard section of our store. Their whispers reach my ears, but I can’t make out the words. I stop in front of the Yamaha and Casio stands, showing them the shelves. The lady lifts her hand and runs her wrinkled fingers over the keys. The love seeps out of her eyes as she looks at them. It’s the same look I give Ronan. The same look IgaveRonan.
“Can I try it? Can I play it?” she asks excitedly and I immediately take it off the rack and into the piano room.
“Of course, ma’am. I’ll get it ready for you.” With a few cables plugged in, and a few buttons pressed, it’s ready to be played.
I step back into the hall and sit at the desk, leaving the door open. She sits at the tiny chair behind the instrument, and he finds comfort right by the door. Her hands caress the keys, playing wonderful notes of Beethoven’s Moonlight sonata. The man looks at her in awe as she sways back and forth, making art right in front of his eyes. She smiles softly at him, closing her eyes and throwing her head back. The love between them is palpable. It makes me ache deep inside. I see them and I see us in them. This is all I’ve ever wanted. All I’ve wanted to havewith her.Our love blooming at such an old age, our fingers intertwined as we watch generations come and go from our small town.
This can’t be our goodbye.
This is not the end of us.
I will forget. I will forgive. I will swallow my pride and go back to her. She is everything to me. She’ll always be.
