Page 19 of All of My Lasts


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Jessica

New Year's Eve

Ourhouselookslikea party shop exploded in here. The gold and silver streamers that me and Harriet insisted weneededfor the party, line every single wall and doorway of the downstairs. It looks like the whole place is covered in metallic rain. The matching foiled balloons float around the conservatory, being bounced around like bubbles, as people sway to the music. The tables are draped in white organza and there are enough sequins floating around every surface that it looks like pixie dust has been sprinkled everywhere.

I scan the room for the one person that makes me feel like my heart might stop and when I spot him finally entering the room, his brown messy hair and shining green and brown eyes, my heart does exactly that. It pauses for a beat. I can’t stop the smile that erupts across my face as I rush over to him, throwing myself into his arms with a thud.

“Hi, lover boy.”

“Hi, Scotty,” he says, nuzzling into my neck.

His fresh scent fills my lungs; summertime and limes. It makes me dizzy because I haven’t been able to smell him for four months and now, he’s here. It’s like a very vivid, incredible dream.

“I missed you,” he whispers into my ear.

“You’ve been with me all day.”

“And I still missed you. I have four months of catching up to do.”

I missed him, too. So much. Even just walking to the bathroom and back was too long apart from him.

“Jessica, get your cute bum over here.” Nora shouts from the other side of the room. I begrudgingly dismount Liam’s waist and take his hand, smiling at the fact that he’s here and I can actually do that. I drag him over to where Nora is dancing with some of our college friends and make quick introductions and Liam settles into easy conversation with Elena’s boyfriend, Mike.

Liam takes my hand when the song ‘Electric Love’ comes on by Borns, singing into my ear as we sway to the music. I feel every word he sings, my body humming from our contact. His hand holds me against him, burning its place on my skin. I’ve missed being close to him.

I like the way he moves us with the beat but keeps his mouth firmly next to my ear, singing only to me. Butterflies throw a rave in my stomach that I can barely contain. It feels like they’re fluttering over my skin and escaping into the air around us. Our hips move with the rhythm of the beat in our own bubble.

My arms wrap tighter around his neck as he pulls back to capture my lips in a searing kiss that I feel all the way from the tips of my ears to the ends of my toes. Kissing Liam will never not make me feel like I’m simultaneously flying and falling and I’ll never be able to get enough of this feeling.

We break apart breathless, lost in each other’s gaze.

A loud crash echoes across the room, sounding like it’s coming from the hallway. Liam spins around, searching for the source. Booming voices travel down through the crowd, but not everyone has noticed yet. The bass drowning out most of the sound. I swear I heard Cam shouting, which is weird because henevershouts.

“Leave, now.” Cam’s booming voice travels over the sound of the music, although me, Nora and Liam are the only ones paying enough attention, everyone else still lost in the music and laughter.

Nora lifts onto her tiptoes to see if she can see what’s going on when Liam grabs her arm with a look that chills my bones. His head shakes as Nora’s face pales, her eyes flitting to me for a second but then back to Liam as she nods, the both of them exchanging a silent conversation I don’t understand. My temperature rises as the suddenly cool air prickles against the back of my neck.

“What is going on?” I ask a little louder than I’d intended.

Nora looks at me with a pained expression. “Shall we go down to the beach?”

What?My brow furrows and my head shakes at Nora’s sudden need to go to the beach.

“Nora, what’s going on?” I hold her stare, challenging her to try and brush me off again, but her eyes flick between me and Liam as my jaw clenches.Fine, if they are going to be telepathic, then I’m going to see what the hell is going on for myself.

My feet stomp towards the source of the noise. I shoulder past people, dipping in between the few bodies gathered in the kitchen. When I reach the hallway, I see Cam and Harriet blocking the front door. Harriet catches my eye. Her eyes are so full of apology, and I can’t figure out why.

What the actual hell is going on right now that has everyone looking at me like that?

Cam spins as I stride past the last of the streamers, making them rustle. I’m instantly met with a set of glassy and bloodshot blue-grey eyes.

“Mum?” I whisper, but it’s so quiet I’m not sure if I said it out loud.

Her brown wavy hair is limp and lifeless as it rests on her shoulders. She takes one step into the house towards me, and I can’t tell if my body wants to run towards her or away from her. My eyes blink rapidly, making sure I’m not dreaming.Would this be a nightmare or a dream of having my mother here right now?My stupid heart betrays me, thinking she’s come back to get me.

A gush of air tells me that Nora and Liam are now behind me, although all I can see is her. My arms hang like planks of wood by my side and my legs are rooted in place as she takes a step towards me before Cam blocks the gap between us. His familiar smell of cloves hits my senses and my vision clears, as though I’ve just been snapped back into the room again.

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