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She scans the rails of the bridge then looks up at me, confused for a second. “I don’t see any other padlocks. Are we allowed to do this?”
I smile at her and show her the key. “We can’t leave the padlock, but I thought we could keep it and throw the key in the river.”
Her face is full of emotion and I run my knuckles across her chin and lift her lips to meet mine. “I love you,” she whispers before she kisses me.
35
Jessica
AsIpackupmy desk for the day, I place all my pens neatly in their pots again. My assistant, Kylie, used my office whilst I was away and she and I have very different ideas of what tidy is. Once my laptop is closed, I stand, brushing the creases from my pencil skirt and call an Uber to take me to Liam’s office.
It doesn’t take me long to get there and I walk towards the front desk, admiring the space that I knew so well. The light that filters into the lobby area still beams down like sunshine and the glass doors that still create tiny little rainbows on the floor that still make me smile when I see it. The front desk, all clean white lines and potted plants courtesy of Helena, and that is where I spot her familiar face. “Helena?” She looks up, eyes wide and mouth slightly open as she takes me in.
“Jessica Scott?” She rounds her desk and throws her arms around me. Her wild, curly hair tickles my nose as I return the hug, basking in her familiar cinnamon scent. “My word, you are beautiful. I haven’t seen you since you were yay high.” She gestures to her shoulder height, as her big brown eyes look me over again.
“It’s so good to see you, Helena. You haven’t changed a bit. How is Anne?”
“You are too kind, my darling. Anne is good, driving me crazy as usual… I hear you and Liam are dating again.” Her elbow gently nudges my side, an impish smile gracing her lips. “He is quite smitten, you know. Humming tunes and letting me get away with murder.” She winks, and I can’t help but smile at the thought of him singing around the office.
“Liam singing, how do you cope?” The man has many graces, but unfortunately singing was never one of them.
“It’s sweet really.” The shrill ring of the phone cuts through our conversation. She rounds her desk, pausing her hand over the phone before locking eyes with me. “He’s in his office. Second on the left. Come back for coffee soon, yes?” I nod and smile as she picks up the phone.
Memories of a young Liam, Nora and I flood my head as I tiptoe through the familiar hallway.
We played marbles over there in that corner, we did our homework sat on the floor of the kitchenette. It didn’t matter that we were uncomfortable, we were together and that was our favourite place to be.
As I walk towards the door, muffled, raised voices permeate the air outside the door of Liam’s father’s office. I take one tentative step closer so my feet are almost touching the door frame as I zone out any other office noises around me to focus on the conflict on the other side of the door.
“Liam, this isn’t our choice to make. It’s hers,” I hear his father boom.
I can’t actually hear much, but what I do hear stops me in my tracks “… I can’t keep this from her anymore,” Liam declares, but it seems to fall on deaf ears, as his father’s voice offers a muffled response that I don’t catch.
What the hell are they arguing about?
My heart jumps when I hear a loud bang from the other side of the door. My body involuntarily leaping backwards as my hands fly to my chest.
More muffled voices sound out and that’s when I hear Liam’s dad say, “We need to wait for Claire.”
Claire.
Claire.
Claire.
Her name echoes in my subconscious as it repeats relentlessly.
My hands go numb, my mouth is dry, my heart is beating uncontrollably fast just at the mention of her name. White noise is rushing in my ears, bile rises in my throat as I fumble my steps backwards. I don’t know where I’m retreating to, but I’m hoping I find a surface to lean on soon.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. I can’t breathe.
One-one thousand.
Two-one thousand.
Three-one thousand.
Hearing her name has all the blood rushing in my ears, unable to think straight from all the memories that are flooding back to my subconscious. I thought I was ready, but right now I know I’m not. I can’t come face to face to the one part of my past that I so desperately wish wasn’t connected to Liam at all. I break out into a cold sweat that makes me shiver.
